Help you to forget the past
by katychan666
Summary: Harry found Snape's old diary, and he read it. But he regrets doing that, because he learns that his father wasn't a hero, but a bully, a monster. (Snarry, rated M for future chapters) (I know I suck at summaries). This is happening in Harry's 5th year on Hogwarts.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, So since english is not my first language, I know that there are o lot of grammar mistakes in this story, so just try to bear with me okay? ^^**

**so this is the first chapter of my new story "Help you to forget the past"... I know that the title is a bit weird, so I might change it.**

**enjoy the reading :)**

**Chapter 1**

Harry looked at the watch at the wall. It was10:12 am. Harry rolled his eyes and gave out a loud sigh. It was in the middle of sunny wednesday and he had double period of potions with Slytheirns. And Harry was literally bored to death. The period was really boring and Harry struggled keeping his eyes open as Snape telling something about Sleeping draught and its effect on people.

Harry looked at the clock again. The clock showed now 10:14 am. Harry sighed again. Even the first period wasn't over yet. Harry then looked around the classroom. It seemed that he wasn't he only one who was really bored. Harry's eyes met Ron's and Ron rolled his eyes and yawned. As Harry's best friend did that Harry couldn't help but laugh a bit. Harry's eyes then travelled to Hermione. She was almost the only one who was taking notes and listening to Snape.

Harry then turned around, so that he was facing the chalk board. Snape was writing something on it, but Harry was too sleepy to care what was his professor talking about. Snape's cold and monotone voice was making Harry feel more and more sleepy. Harry could feel that his eyes were getting heavier and heavier. He head was also feeling really heavy, so Harry put one arm under it, to support it. When Snape started talking about negative effect of Sleeping draught on people, Harry's eyes shut and he fell asleep.

The next thing that Harry could remember was that he was alone in a dark and cold forest. His whole body started trembling and he was really scared. Harry didn't know what was happening. Just a moment ago he was in Snape's classroom, but now he was here? How on Earth did he get here? Was it possible that it was all just a dream? Harry stopped thinking quite soon as he heard a noise behind him. He turned around, but nobody was there. Harry's body froze.

˝Who's there?˝ Harry said, but he received no anwser.

Harry then started walking forward and then he heard another voice behind him. Harry turned around quickly and behind him there was standing somebody, but because it was so dark, Harry couldn't see who it was.

Harry's body started shaking and he took a few steps towards the person.

˝Who are you?˝ asked Harry again.

Person started walking towards Harry. As the person did that, Harry started walking backwards.

˝Harry...˝ whispered the person. ˝Harry...˝

Harry's heart was ready to jump out of his chest. Harry wanted to run away, but his legs weren't listening to him. Harry took out his wand, pointed it at the mysterious person and whispered ˝Lumos˝.

A little light came from Harry's wand and the boy saw who that person was. When Harry realized who it was, he almost couldn't belive his eyes. The mysterious person was Cedric Diggory, a boy who died last year in a triwizard tournament. But the Cedric that Harry saw, wasn't the Cedric that he knew. This Cendric was really pale and his eyes were completely lifeless.

˝H-How...? B-but...˝ was all that Harry could say.

¨Harry...˝ whispered Cedric again and reached out his arm towards Harry. ˝It's your fault... all your fault˝

Harry couldn't listen to Cedric voice anymore. He knew that it was his fault that Cedric was dead, but he didn't want to hear it. Harry covered his ears, but Cedric's voice was still in Harry's head. Tears started gathering in Harry's eyes.

˝Please, stop... I didn't mean to˝ Harry begged Cedric.

Harry then felt a firm grip on his shoulder. That scared him so much that he screamed and he was again in Snape's classroom. He realized that all that was just a dream. When Harry screamed the whole classroom bursted into laughter. Because Harry got really scared, he lost the balance and fell onto cold and hard floor and he realized that he was still crying because of that horrible dream that he just had. When the Slytherins realized that Harry was crying they started to laugh even harder.

˝Look at poor Potty, he is crying˝ said Draco Malfoy.

Harry could feel that his cheeks really red and his body was really hot. Harry then heard heavy footsteps coming closer and quite soon a tall and slim man was standing next to him.

˝Mr. Potter!˝hissed Snape.

Harry got up really quickly, whipped the tears away, sat on his chair and said: ˝I am very sorry, sir. It won't happen again˝.

˝You are quite right Potter. Now, would you be so kind to tell me what was I talking about before you've fallen asleep?˝ asked Snape and smirked.

When Harry saw that smirk he knew what was coming next – his professor will make fun of him in front of the whole class. Even though Harry knew that it wasn't right what he did, he was really angry with his professor.

˝In today's lessons we were talking about Sleeping draught and its effect on people˝ tried Potter.

Snape's thin lips were pressed together and then he countinued. ˝So, would you be so kind and tell your classmates what those effects are?˝

harry looked at his professor. The smile on Snape's lips grew bigger and bigger. Than made Harry even angrier, but he needed to stay calm if he didn't want to get into even more trouble. ˝I don't know, sir˝ Harry whispered.

Severus smiled widely and asked his studen another question. ˝And why is that, Potter? I've just told this a couple of minutes ago˝.

Harry looked around the classroom. He could see the smile on Malfoy's face. Harry then looked at his two best friends. Hermione shook her head, she was angry with him. Ron just shruged his sholders and quetly said ˝Good luck, mate˝. Harry rolled his eyes and looked his professor again.

¨Because I've fallen asleep˝murmured Harry and looked at the floor. As Harry said that Slytherins started laughing hysterically and Snape seemed pleased with the anwser that Harry gave.

˝And why have you fallen asleep, Mr. Potter?˝ aksed Snape again.

Harry could feel the anger botteling up in him. His whole body started shaking, as he was forcing himself to stay calm and not start shouting at his professor.

¨I don't kow˝ finally said Harry.

˝I see˝ said Snape. ˝Well, you can tell me today at 5.30 pm in the detention˝ said Snape lightly and sat down on his chair.

˝But, professor, not today!˝ raised Harry his voice. ˝I have quidditch practice˝.

˝Well then I'm sorry but I think you'll have to miss it today˝.

˝But sir...˝ Harry said, with a louder voice this time.

˝10 points from Gryffondor˝ said Snape with his monotone and boring voice.

˝What?˝ said Harry and got up on his legs. ˝You can't do that˝.

Őf course I can... 15 points from Gryffondor˝.

Harry gritted his teeth. His heart started beating really fast and he clenched his hands into a firm fist. He really tried to stay calm, but Snape knew which buttons to push to make Harry furious.

˝Harry˝ said Hermione ˝Sit down, or we'll lose even more points˝

˝I would listen to your friend, Potter if I were you˝said Snape and smirked. That smirk made Harry so angry that he lost the whole control that was holding him back from shouting at his professor.

˝No! Why should I? We all know that if someone from Slytherin would fall a sleep in your boring class it would be okay˝ yelled Harry.

The smirk from Snape's face disappeared. ˝20 points from Gryffondor˝said Snape once again.

Harry was so angry at that moment that he didn't know what he was saying. And he regretted the next words as soon as they left his mouth. ˝You hate everyone from Gryffondor, only because my father was in it! And I am not surprised that my mother chose him over you! You are boring, stupid old git!˝.

When Harry said that the whole classroom became silent. Harry's eyes were wide open and he covered his mouth with his hands. Harry didn't mean the words that he said, and he regretted everything that he said. He felt horrible. He looked at Snape. Harry could see that he caught Snape off guard.

Snape's face became even more pale that it usually was and there was something strange in Snape's emotion that Harry had never seen in his professor's eyes. Was that sadness? Did he really hurt his professor that much that he was actually showing some emotions, or was that anger? Harry really couldn't tell what his professor was feeling at that time, but Harry knew that he got into a really big trouble.

Severus Snape did not say a word. He was just standing there, not saying anything. And Harry felt horrible. He wanted that his professor would say something to him, anything. He wanted that Snape would start shouting at him, because Harry knew that he deserved it.

A few moments later, Snape took few steps forward. Harry's heart started beating like crazy.

˝Get out!˝ said Snape with deadly cold voice. Snape's voice sent shivers down Harry's spine. He realized how angry his prefessor was and Harry felt really afraid at that time. He wanted to apologize to to his professor, but his body way too scared to say anything – Harry just stood there as he was frozen.

˝Are you deaf?˝ Snape barked at Harry. ˝Get out!˝

˝I... Sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean what I just said˝ Harry tried o explain.

˝I don't want to hear anymore of your retarded excuses. You are like your father – arrogant, selfish and stupid person˝ hissed Snape.

˝I really am sorry, sir˝tried Harry again, but it didn't help, because Snape became even angrier.

˝GET OUT!˝ shouted professor.

˝But, I really am sorry˝ said Harry with a small voice, before he left the classroom.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, there :). So this is the second chapter of my story. Again, english isn't perfect and I know there are a lot of mistakes, but english is not my first language, so I hope you'll still like it**

**Enjoy ~**

That day, Harry didn't go to school anymore, because he felt too horrible to do anything. After Snape kicked him out, he went to his bedroom and was there until lunch. All that Harry could think of were those horrible things he said to his professor. He didn't want to hurt his professor, because he knew what horrible things his father did to him.

He really was like his father – lazy, arrogant, he always stuck his nose into other people's business. However, he wasn't a bully. Harry knew that his father, James Potter and his two best friends, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin liked to bully him. Harry knew that, because once when he was in detention with Snape, he found Snape's old diary. And because he was angry at that time with his professor, he read it. But he regretted doing that, because there was one horrible thing that James did to Severus.

Reading that diary made Harry realize that his father wasn't a hero like everybody else told him. His father was nothing else but a horrible bully and that made Harry very sad.

Harry sat on his bed. Then he opened the suitcase and took out an album of him and his parents, from long time ago. At all pictures he, his mom and his dad were smiling and they were happy. Harry once felt happy to see his father on those pictures, but now he was just disgusted. He knew what kind of man was hiding behind that fake and warm smile.

Harry became very angry, so he threw the album into the wall. The album crashed into the wall and then fell on the floor. Harry then picked the album up and took out a picture of his mom and dad hugging. Harry's heart started to beat a bit faster, because he was really angry. A few moments later, Harry grabbed the picture and tore it apart.

˝He was nothing but a bully and a ra-!˝ Harry shouted, but couldn't finish the sentence, because he didn't want to admit what his father was.

Harry then laid on his bed and fell asleep.

Harry woke up at 1:30 pm, when it was time for lunch. He got up and rushed into the Entrence Hall. When he got there, Hermione and Ron were already sitting and eating lunch.

˝Harry, where were you? You didn't show up for Defense The Dark Arts!˝ said Hermione. Harry could see that he was angry with him.

"Umbridge was really pissed that you didn't show up. She said that you didn't come yesterday to detention˝ said Ron.

Harry just rolled his eyes and sat next to Ron. ˝I didn't feel like going, okay?˝ said Harry and started eating his soup.

˝Well, you'll have to come today or you'll get suspended˝ said Hermione.

˝Suspended?!˝snapped Harry.

˝I know, she's mental...˝ said Ron.

˝But I can't go today. I already have detention with Snape today˝ said Harry.

˝We've told her that, but she didn't care. She said that you'll have to come after your detention with Snape˝ said Hermione.

Harry let out a loud sigh. He didn't feel like eating anymore. All those detentions were driving him crazy.

Harry then looked at the table where the teachers were sitting. Snape was like always sitting there and eating, but something looked different this time. Harry noticed that his professor looked sad. And he knew that it was all his fault. He wanted to apologize to professor again, so he got up and decided to talk with Snape.

˝Where are you going?˝ asked Ron with his mouth full as he saw Harry getting up.

˝I need to do something˝ said Harry.

˝Won't you at least eat something?˝ asked Hermione.

¨No, plus I'm not even hungry anymore˝

Harry then got up and started walking towards the teachers's stable. When the other students saw where Harry was going they stopped eating and curiously watched him. Harry knew that all school already knew what has happened in the potion's classroom. The news on Hogswart travelled faster than fire.

Harry then stepped in front of Snape and said: ˝Excuse me, sir˝.

Snape stopped eating and when saw how was talking to him he quietly hissed ˝Go away!˝

˝But, I need to talk to you, sir˝ said Harry.

˝We have nothing to talk about. Now, go away˝ said Snape, a bit louder this time.

˝I want to apologize˝ murmured Harry. He felt helpless – he really want to tell his professor that he didn't mean those words.

˝Potter, if you don't want your house to lose more points, I suggest that you leave me alone˝

˝But all I want is a minute, and then I will go away˝

˝Fine! You want a minute!˝ shouted Snape and grabbed Harry's left hand. Then he started walking, while dragging Harry behind him. When Snape's hand touched his hand Harry whined with pain, because he still had wound from detention with Umbridge.

Snape dragged Harry into the dungeons. He opened the door of the potion's classroom and he threw Harry into it.

˝Now, talk!˝ yelled Snape.

"O-Okay...˝ said Harry. His voice was trembling badly, and the pain in his hand was almost unbarable. Harry noticed that his hand started bleeding, so Harry quickly hid his arm behind his back. However, Snape was too quick and he noticed that Harry was bleeding.

˝You're bleeding˝ said Snape with cold voice.

˝It'll stop˝ said Harry and countinued. ˝I really want to apologize, I am really sorry for the things I said. I wansn't really thinking what I was saying at that time, so...˝

Harry stopped, waiting for Snape's response. It was like Snape didn't hear the things that Harry just said.

˝Show me your hand˝ siad Snape.

˝It's nothing˝ murmured Harry.

˝I said, show me your hand!˝ siad Snape with louder voice.

Harry decided to show his arm to Snape. Snape held Harry's hand. Harry wasn't bleeding a lot, but it hurt him really badly. Snape lifted Harry's sleeve to see why was Harry's arm bleeding.

˝No, please don't˝ pleaded Harry.

Snape didn't listen to him and he raised Harry's sleeve. What he saw, shocked him. Snape saw that the wound on his hand were actually words cut into Harry's flesh. The words said _I must not tell lies._

˝I told you not to look˝ said Harry.

˝Who did this?˝ asked Snape with angry voice.

˝Professor Umbridge˝ said Harry with small voice.

˝That bitch...˝ quietly said Snape.

Harry couldn't believe his ears, did his professor just swear? Harry and Snape just stood there for a few seconds and Harry started to feel awkward as Snape was still holding his hand, so Harry started talking.

˝So, like I said before...I really am sorry. I had no right to say those horrible words to you˝.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Snape spoke. ˝Potter, may I ask you how do you know about me and your mother?˝ Snape's voice seemed a bit more tense now.

˝I... A few weeks ago I was in detention. And when you weren't in the classroom, I kind of... found your old diary˝ said Harry and closed his eyes, because he knew that the reaction of his professor won't be good.

Snape pressed his thin lips together, this was a sign that he was again getting angry. ˝And may I ask you why did you have to read it?˝

˝Because at that time I was really angry with you, so I wanted to revenge˝ was honest Harry. ˝If I knew what kind of person my father was, I would never do it˝ quickly added Harry when he saw that his professor raised his left eyebrow.

˝So, how much did you read?˝ asked Snape.

˝Just a few pages˝ said Harry, who was avoiding eye concact with his professor.

˝I see, you must've had a laugh about it afterwards with your friends˝ said Snape with his monotone voice.

˝That's not true˝ defented Harry himself. ˝I didn't tell anybody about that... I'm not my father˝ murmured Harry.

¨You are quite right, Mr. Potter. You are even worse than your father˝ said Severus.

When Snape said these words, Harry's heart sunk. He knew what he did was horrible, but he was not like his father! He didn't enjoy bullying other people, he wasn't a monster. ˝I-I'm not like him˝.

˝Silence!˝ Snape shouted. ˝If you weren't like him, you wouldn't stick your nose into other people's bussiness. And your house will lose many more points because of you˝.

˝I don't even care about those stupid points anymore. I just wanted to apologize!˝

˝How? By hummiluating me?˝ snapped Snape.

˝WHAT?˝ Harry shouted. ˝I didn't want to hummiluate you, I just wanted to-˝

˝Shut up! I know what you're doing Potter. It was the same with your father. Pretending to be nice in front of me and then mocking me behind my back!˝

˝Please listen to me... I'm not mocking you, I know how it feels when everybody dilikes you˝ said Harry. His voice started to tremble, and his body started shaking.

˝You know nothing about that! How would you?! You are The Boy Who Lived. You are a celebrity. Everybody whorships the ground you walk on˝ barked Snape.

"Oh really? Well what about when I was living with the Dursleys, huh? Every day they let me know that I was nothing but a worthless piece of filfth. Do you know how bad they were treating me? Do you know that they used to lock me up in a room, because they didn't want me to return to Hogswart?! They didn't give me food regurally! Don't say things that you know nothing about!˝ screamed Harry. He was really angry at that moment and sad. He could feel hot tears gathering in his eyes. They started falling down his cheek, but he just angrily whipped them away.

˝Well, I'm sorry˝ said Snape sarcasticlly. ˝If you really knew how it feels to be hated by everybody you wouldn't read my diary or hummiluated me today in front of the whole class˝

˝Like I said before...˝ said Harry. ˝I didn't know what I was thinking, I was too angry at that time to control myself˝

Snape let out a sarcastical laugh. ˝You even use the same excuses as your father˝.

˝Why can't you see that I am not him?˝ tried Harry again, but as before he wasn't sucessful.

˝Because you look just like him. You have the same face as him and on that stupid face of your's there's always that retarded grin, like it was on his˝

˝If I look like him, that doesn't mean that I am like him˝ said Harry, who was now feeling very sad. He needed to convince his professor, that he wasn't like his father. He would never do something that horrible to another human being.

"I can't believe what you just said. You are as lazy as your father was. You are stupid, selfish and full of yourself, just like your father was˝ said Snape. He wasn't shouting anymore, but his words were as cold as ice.

˝But I don't bully other people!˝ yelled Harry. He wasn't angry with his professor, but he was very furstruated. He needed to do something, so that his professor would listen to him.

"Really? You look down on everybody from Slytherin, you don't even give a person a chance to be friends with you if they are from Slytherin˝

Harry shook his head. ˝You kow this is not true!˝

"Oh, but it is. Just like your father, you despise everybody who is not from Gryffondor˝ spat Snape.

Then Harry did the same mistake as he did before that day, he didn't think what he said. The following words came far too soon from his mouth. ˝Well, at least I'm not a rapist like my father was˝ screamed Harry.

When Harry realized what he said he started mentally slapping and kicking himself. That was always a big problem – he usually said things that he did not mean.

As the words came out of Harry's mouth, Severus's face darkened. Harry couldn't tell if his professor was angry, or sad. Snape just stood there, not saying anything. After a few moments of silence, Snape sat down on his chair and ran his fingers through his hair.

˝H-How...?˝ was all that Snape said. His voice was trembling badly, Harry knew that his professor was crying.

˝Your diary˝ said Harry quietly.

Harry stood in front of his professor, looking at the floor. The reality hit him – his father has raped his potion's professor. He was bullying him and he raped him! Harry felt hot tears rolling down his face. His father was not a hero, he was a monster. Harry really regretted reading Snape's diary.

When Harry started thinking about what has happened to Snape, he felt sick. He could see his father laughing, and Severus screaming, pleading him to stop. Harry could feel that his lungs were lacking the oxygen, so he started to breath faster, but that didn't help. The volume in his lungs was getting smaler and smaler, and Harry couldn't get more oxygen into his lungs. Harry knew that he needed to sit down, because the room started spinning around him. Harry quickly found a chair and sat on him. He knew that he needed to calm down, but how could he? All that he could think about what his father did to Snape.

Severus Snape then got up and walked towards Harry. ˝I think you need to go˝ said Snape to Harry a few moments later.

Harry was looking at Snape, but he his brain couldn't register what Snape was sayig. The room was still spinning around, and Harry was still struggling to get more oxygen into his lungs.

˝What?˝ asked Harry with a weak voice.

˝Go!˝ said Snape.

Harry couldn't hear Snape's voice, but he could read the words from Snape's lips. His professor told him to go? Harry wasn't sure, but he decided to go anyway, because he didn't want to annoy his professor anymore. As Harry was ready to get up, the spinning infront of his eyes became faster and when he got up onto his legs, the whole room became dark and Harry lost his consciousness.


	3. Chapter 3

**The 3rd chapter is now up ^^. I hope you'll like it**. **Again english blabla not good blablabla xD**

****This chapter is rated M. Don't like it? Don't read it****

Harry woke up a few hours later in the Hospital Wing. He had a horrible headache, and he was really hungry, because he didn't eat almost anything at lunch. Plus he had no idea how he got here. The last thing that Harry could remember was that he was talking with professor Snape and then nothing. Harry wasn't really sure what had happened to him, but he was sure that he had a panic attack in Snape's classroom and that he fainted. But then who brought him here? Professor Snape?

Harry shook his head. It wasn't possible, his professor would never do this for him. Harry knew that professor Snape hated him... But then who would bring him here? Maybe Ron and Hermione were worried where he was, so they went looking for him? Harry just shruged his shoulders and looked around the room.

He realized that he was the only one here. Well, that wasn't anything new to Harry. He was used to be alone in Hospital, because he was there so many times before.

Harry got up and looked out of the window. The sun was shining, and it was so warm – a perfect autum day. Harry saw his two best friends outside. Ron and Hermione were sitting next to each other and doing homework. Harry smiled, he knew that they liked each other. It was too obvious. He just whished that they would realize that too.

˝Mr. Potter, I see that you woke up˝ said Madam Pomfrey.

¨Yes, yes I did˝ said Harry. ˝May I ask you what happened?˝

˝Well, you had a panick attack, and you fainted. But I think you will be all right˝ explained Madam Pomfrey to him and smiled.

˝I see. I just hope that Ron and Hermione weren't too scared when they brought me here˝

¨Ron and Hermione? Oh, Mr. Potter they weren't the ones who brought you here˝

˝Then who did?˝. Harry was confused.

˝Professor Snape brought you here˝ told him Madam Promfrey.

Harry's eyes were wide open. Snape brought him here? Why would he do that? Maybe Snape didn't dislike him as much as he thought he did.

˝Professor Snape? Are you sure?˝ asked Harry, just to make sure that he heard right.

Madam Pomfrey smiled and anwsered: ˝Yes, I am quite sure, Mr. Potter˝.

Harry still couldn't believe it. ˝Did he say anything? Was he angry?˝

˝He didn't seem angry, but he did say that you must come to your detention today˝ told him Madam Pomfrey.

˝I see˝ said Harry. He was really confused now.

˝Well, Mr. Potter I would love to stay here with you and chat, but I have to go. But the good thing is that you are just fine, so you can go to your friends. I bet they are really worried. Goodbye˝ said Madam Pomfrey and left the Hospital Wing.

Harry just shruged his shoulders and left the Hospital Wing. On his way to his friends he was constantly asking himself why on Earth would Snape bring him here after all the horrible words he said to him? Harry let out a loud sigh and stopped for a few seconds.

He really did feel horrible now and he had a detention today with Snape. Harry really didn't want to go, because he was sure that his professor would yell at him or completely ignore him. And Harry didn't know which thing was worse. At the end Harry decided not to go to detention today, even though he knew that he would get into even more trouble. He even decided to avoid Snape as much as possible, because he wasn't ready to deal with his professor. He just felt too weak and too horrible. He really didn't know what to do.

He whished that he didn't tell Snape everything that he knew about his father. And he was angry with himself, because he didn't know how to control his emotions. Harry cursed and countinued walking.

He soon came outside to Hermione and Ron. Hermione was the first who saw him, so she quickly stood up and ran towards him.

˝Where were you? Ron and I were looking everywhere for you, but whe couldn't find you˝ said Hermione.

˝I was with Snape and then I was in the Hospital Wing˝ explained Harry.

˝Hospital Wing?˝ asked Ron, who came closer as well. ˝Did Snape do something to you or...?¨

˝No, no. He didn't do anything˝

˝Then what happened?¨ asked Hermione, who was really worried by now.

˝Nothing serious. Snape and I had an another fight and then I kind of fainted¨ explained really quickly Harry.

˝You fainted?! Why?˝ said Ron.

Harry rolled his eyes. He really didn't want to tell the entire story to his two best friends, so he just said: ˝Long story, I'll tell you another time˝.

It was 5:30 pm and Snape was waiting for Harry to come in his classroom. Snape sighed and sat down on his chair. He was completely emotionally worn out, he just wanted to rest for a bit, but he knew that Potter would try to apologize again to him. And he was really tired of Harry's countinious apologizes. He just wanted that the boy would leave him alone. He didn't want to talk about his past. Especially not to Harry. Because whenever he looked at him, he would look at Harry's eyes. And he would always remember her, Lily.

But he didn't want to remember... He didn't want to remember how he lost her, because it was all his fault. And he didn't want to remeber the pain he went through when he was still a student in Hogswart. And especially he didn't want to remeber that night when James raped him. He felt ashamed, worthless. He told only one person what happened, Lily. But she didn't believe him, because at that time she was already dating James and she thought that Severus was just making things up, so that she would break up with James.

Snape closed his eyes and the memories came to him... He tried to push them away, but they just wouldn't go away.

_James Potter laguhed out loud. His best friend, Sirius and him were running after Snape. Severus was trying to get as far from them as possible, because he knew that they were up to no good. But they were too fast for him._

_James quickly grabbed Snape's wrist and pulled him towards himself. Then he pushed him so hard, that Snape fell on the floor. Sirius came closer and both James and Sirius were laughing hardly. James then went closer to Snape and kicked him hard into the stomach._

_˝Kick him again, James!˝ screamed Sirius and cheered as Potter did that._

_˝Stand up!˝ ordered James to Severus. However, Snape didn't listen to him, so James got even angrier._

_˝I said, stand up, Snivellus!˝ shouted James._

_˝Fuck you!˝ yelled Severus back, still ignoring James's command._

_˝He said, stand up!˝ shouted Sirius, grabbed Severu's shirt and pulled him onto his legs._

_˝Now, now... Snape you know that you must not use this kind of words. I guess we'll just have to punish you then˝ said James and smirked. Then he grabbed Snape's long hair with his left hand. James then firmed a firm fist and hit Snape's face really hard with it._

_Snape whinced with pain as James did that. James's hit was so hard that Severus landed on the floor._

_"Oh, will poor Snivellus cry now?˝ said Sirius and kicked Snape into stomach once again._

_Snape was in pain, everything hurt. He wanted that those two would stop hitting him, but he knew that he can't do anything to make them stop._

_Suddenly Sirius looked at the clock and cursed. ˝Shit, I must go James. I would love to stay here and play with you for a bit, but I have a detention with Slughorn, so I must go˝._

_James nodded and said: ˝Don't worry, just go. I will finish what we've started˝._

_Sirius then soon left. Snape and James were left alone. Severus knew that this didn't mean anything good. He got onto his knees and then he sat on cold floor. His stomach was hurting him terribly, so he put his arms around it, to ease the pain. However, that didn't help._

_˝Get on your legs!˝ said James with monotone voice._

_Snape ignored him._

_˝We both know what will happen if you don't listen to me˝ _

_Snape didn't listen to James. He was too humiliated, he just wanted to die. And it would be better if he was dead. Nobody would even miss him if he would die. Not even Lily... he lost her, forever. And it was all his fault._

_˝Potter, fuck off˝ said Snape._

_At that moment Potter completely lost it. He grabbed Snape's arm and lifted Severus onto his legs. Then he started walking. Snape was trying to free himself, but he was unsuccessful, because James's grip was just too hard for him._

_James dragged Severus into an old and dusty classroom. Then he locked the door._

_¨Now, Snivellus, we will play by my rules!˝ siad James. He pushed Snape so hard, that he landed on the floor._

_Then James climbed on top of Severus._

_˝Get off!˝screamed Severus as he was trying to get rid of Potter._

_Potter then grabbed both Snape's arms and held them with his left arm on top of Severus's head. With his right hand he started unbuttoning the buttons on Snape's shirt. As Potter started doing that, Snape's body froze. What the hell was he trying to do? Severus started struggling even harder, but the weight of James's body, which was pressing on his, was just too big,_

_When Potter stopped unbuttoning Severus's shirt he smirked and then he put his face too close to Snape's. _

_"What are you doing?!" hissed Snape._

_"I said I was going to punish you, didn't I?" whispered James._

_When those words came out of James's mouth, Snape's body started shaking. What the hell was happening? James will punish him... but in what way? Severus started to realize what will James do to him. But he was begging that he was wrong, because if James would do that then..._

_Severus was interrupted as he felt something wet on his neck. He quickly realized that the wet thing was actually James's tongue, which was sucking and licking his neck. Severus closed his eyes, hoping that it wass all just a dream. It couldn't be true... It just couldn't..._

_"Open your eyes" ordered James._

_Severus shook his head. "No" he said._

_James became even angrier. James then did something that made Severus feel sick. James pressed his warm lips against Severus's. Severus's eyes opened wide immediately, and he started struggling again. After a few seconds, James pushed his tounge inside Severus's mouth. When James did that, Severus started gasping for air. He felt sick, ashamed, worthless... Severus could feel the hot tears gathering in his eyes._

_James finally pulled back. James was breathing fast and he was smiling. But it wasn't a happy smile, it was an evil smile._

_"Please stop this" said Snape quietly. "Haven't you hummiliated me enough?"_

_"No, no no... Snivellus. I said I will punish you, so you must be punished" anwsered James and started kissing Severus's bare chest and stomach._

_Everytime James touched or kissed Severus it hurt... Severus felt dirty. He needed to go away. He needed to escape, or James would really rape him!_

_James stopped kissing him. Severus opened his eyes to see what was James up to now. He was shocked when he saw that James took his own shirt off. James then got closer to Severus again and he kissed him again. The kiss was rough, emotionless. While James was kissing Severus, his hand was getting lower and lower. When Snape felt Potter's hand on his penis, he didn't know what to do anymore. He pushed James away._

_"Stop it. What are you trying to do?" yelled Severus and quickly got up. He quickly ran towards the door, but James was too quick. James grabbed Severus and pushed him against wet and cold wall. James then unzipped Severus's jeans and pulled down his boxers. Severus was now completely naked. He started crying..._

_But what happened next was even worse than this. James pressed Severus down to the floor. He was holding Severus's arms, so that he wouldn't escape again. Then, without any warning, James pushed one finger inside Severus. When James did that, Severus screamed. It hurt him so much. It was all too much for him. He let the tears fall. He didn't care anymore. He knew that it was over. He knew what will happen next._

_"Please stop, it hurts!" begged Severus with weak voice._

_"Shut up!" screamed James, ignoring Severus._

_Severus felt that James inserted another finger inside him. The pain was now unbarable. Severus was screaming really loud now, still begging James to stop. But James didn't listen. James wanted more, he needed more..._

_James soon removed fingers and then Severus heard the sound of a zipper. He knew that this didn't mean anything good. He knew what will happen next._

_"Potter... please stop it. Stop it!" cried James._

_"I told you to shut up, didn't I?" screamed James and then thursted hardly into Severus._

_When James's penis entered Severus, Severus could only scream. It hurt so much. He felt sick, dirty. He really was worhless, like his parents have told him before. All that he could think about now was Lily. He really did love her, but he... just lost it when he saw her and James talking to each other. He missed her so much, he was nothing without her._

_James thursted into Severus again, this time he used even more power. Severus screamed again._

_"James, I'm begging you, take it out. You're hurting me, please. Stop it!"_

_"Shut up, you know you like it!" anwsered James and started thrusting faster._

_James started breathing heavily and his body started shaking. Severus knew what was going to happen next. And all he could do was close his eyes and wait until it was over._

"Fuck!" screamed Severus. He really didn't want to remember that day. It was all Harry Potter's fault that he remembered that.

Snape looked at the clock. It was now 6 pm and Harry still didn't come. Severus was surprised, he was sure that the boy would come. But he didn't mind being alone now. He really did need some time to himself.

He got up and locked the classroom. Then he headed into his bedroom, to relax a bit.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello there ^^. I know that it has been quite a long time since I updated, but I was just really busy this past week, because I had to study a lot .**

**Well, I hope you'll like this chapter.**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

**2 weeks later**

It has been two weeks since the whole incident with Snape, and Harry was avoiding his professor for the whole time. He didn't go to the detention that he was given and he wasn't attending Potions. Hermione was of course really angry with her best friend. She was constantly trying to convince Harry to go back, but he ignored her. He knew that he was digging his own grave, but he just didn't know how to approach Snape anymore.

Harry avoided Snape literally everywhere – if Harry saw his professor on the hallway, he started walking into different direction. He even avoided him in the Great Hall. Harry started going to meals when they were almost over, because he knew that Snape always left the Great Hall earlier.

It was morning now, so Harry yawned and got up. He realized that he was the only one in the Dormitory, so he hurried up and got dressed. He then looked at his watch. It was 9:30 am now, so he decided to go to breakfast. He knew that both ofhis friends have already finished their meals and that they were now probably waiting for potions to start.

When he got into The Great Hall it was almost empty. Only a few students were there who were still eating breakfast. Harry sat down and started eating. He was so busy eating that he didn't see that someone was standing right behind him.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo**

Severus Snape sighed. He knew that Harry Potter was avoiding him. He came to meals, when Severus has already left The Great Hall. Potter stopped attending potions and everytime he saw him on the hallway, he hurried into a different direction. At first the thing was quite amusing to Snape, but now all that silence from Potter was starting to annoy him.

Severus knew that he was too harsh on the boy. Harry was only 15 after all, and Severus seemed to forget this. Plus if he knew that Potter knew what James did to him, he wouldn't have said all those words to Harry. He really did feel bad and he wanted to apologize to Harry. But there was only one problem – he didn't know how. He didn't know how to apologize to Lily, so he lost her. Maybe if he just said those two words, everything would be different.

And he really didn't want to fight with Harry anymore. He didin't want to lose the only connection that he got left with Lily. After all, Harry was Lily's son too and he knew that Lily would want him to take care of the boy.

Severus let out a loud sigh. Severus was still in The Great Hall, waiting for Harry to come. He decided that it was about time that they have a talk. But he knew that if Harry saw him in The Great Hall, he would run away. So Severus decided to leave the Great Hall for a few minutes. He knew that Harry would soon come to breakfast.

And he was right. After 10 minutes, Snape returned to The Great Hall, and there was Harry, eating his breakfast. He got near to Harry really quietly. When he was standing right beside him, Severus said: "Potter, we need to talk."

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

The voice behind Harry's back really frightened him. And he unfortunally knew who the owner of the voice was. Harry's heart started beating a bit faster, but he didn't turn around. He just couldn't look at his professor. He was too embaressed.

"I don't think there's anything we have to talk about" murmured Harry, still not looking at his professor.

"I believe we do" said Severus and countinued "You weren't present in my class for the whole two weeks, and you didn't come to the detention that I gave you."

Harry rolled his eyes. Of course Snape would want to talk about only this. Harry finally turned around. When he saw Snape, he was shocked. His professor was even more pale than usual and he seemed somehow tired.

"Well, I decided that I will stop going to Potions. I was never really good at them, so what's the point?" lied Harry.

"Really? That's the best lie you could come up with?" sarcastically asked Snape.

"It's the truth" said Harry and then got up. He suddenly lost his apetite to eat and he needed to get as far as possible from his teacher. "And please excuse me, but I have to go now. I have to do homework".

"No, Potter, wait!" said Snape a little louder.

"What do you want?" asked Harry, a bit shocked.

"Please, come to Potions today" said Snape quietly. "Then when the lessons will be over, we will talk."

Harry couldn't believe his ears. Did his professor just said the word ˝please˝? Harry didn't know what to do now. He was really confused and he didn't understand his professor anymore. Just a few days ago was Severus the one who didn't want to talk.

"I... I don't know" was honest Harry.

Snape shook his head and he was starting to get really angry. "You know, do whatever you want...". After that, he left The Great Hall.

Harry sat down and ran his fingers thorough his black hair. At that moment he didn't know what to do. He knew that not attending Potions was really bad for his grades, but he didn't want to talk with Snape. He did everything he could, yet professor didn't listen to him.

Plus he was really embaressed that he fainted in front of him. And what made him even more embaressed was that Snape was the one who brought him to the Hospital Wing. How did Snape even brought him there? Did he carry him? At that thought, Harry's face became red and the uncomfortable heath started spreading through his body. And if that wasn't bad enough, his heart started beating really fast.

What the hell was wrong with him? The last time he felt that way, was when he was thinking about Cho, but now this? Harry shook his head. He knew that his body must have been mistaken, Snape was his teacher. Not only that, but a man too.

Harry decided not to go to Potions after all. Right before he left The Great Hall, Cho stopped him.

"Hi, Harry" she said with her quiet voice.

Harry stopped and smiled. "Hello, Cho. How are you?"

"I'm good..." said Cho. Then the awkward silence fell between them. Harry noticed that Cho looked somehow nervous, so he decided to talk.

"I'm good too" he said.

"Harry, I was just wondering..." said Cho, uneasy. "I know that you used to like me last year... And you are really a great guy... I was wondering, would like to go out with me someday?"

Harry couldn't believe his ears. Did Cho just ask him out? And what surprised Harry even more was the fact that he didn't feel any happiness or excintment when Cho asked him that. If Cho said that to him last year, he would be jumping around Hogswart... But now, he felt completely nothing. However, he didn't want to reject her. He knew that she really liked Cedric and that his death broke her heart. And he didn't want to break her heart again, so he smiled and noded.

"Of course!" said Harry.

When Harry said that, he saw how more relaxed and happy Cho became.

"Oh, that's great. You know I was so nervous about this, and I was afraid that you would say no, because I know that a lot of girls ask you out" quickly replied Cho.

"Yeah, but you are the prettiest" said Harry plus it really was the truth.

Cho blushed and smiled.

"So, when should we go out?" asked Harry.

Cho blushed even more and said: "Why don't you pick the date?"

Harry smiled and said: "Well, what if we go to Hogsmeade on Friday after out classes finish?"

Cho smiled and the she slowly nodded.

"Well then, it's a date" said Harry.

Cho nodded again and then she said: "I can't wait... You know, I have Defense the Dark arts now, so I must really go now. I hope to see you soon, Harry".

"Okay then, try to have fun" said Harry, but he knew that it would be impossible to have fun if Umbridge was teaching. Just as Cho was ready to leave, he stepped closer to her and then kissed her warm cheek. Again, Harry was shocked again because he didn't feel anything. But Cho sure did, because as Harry did that, her face became even more red.

"G-Good bye, Harry" she said.

"Bye, Cho" smiled Harry and waved her goodbye.

When Cho left, Harry didn't know what to do. He knew that he had a lot of homework to do, but he just didn't feel like doing it. And he was really bored, because he didn't know where to go or what to do. He again considered going to Potions. At the end he decided to go to Potions, but only because he really did have notihng to do. And not doing anything was driving Harry crazy. He looked at the clock and he realized that the first period of Potions has already started. Harry cursed quietly and he hurried to the Potions classroom.

When he came in front of the classroom, Harry stopped. Should he really go in? But he was really late, and he knew that professor Snape hate students, who are late for his lessons. But then again, Snape hated him anyway, so what's the difference?

Harry lifted his arm to knock on the door, but he stopped. He became nervous and his heart beat became faster. Harry was scared what his professor would say... then he quickly shook his head, put the fear aside and knocked.

"Come in" said the voice, who was coming from inside the classroom.

Harry's trembling fingers touched the door knob and he opened the door. When he stepped inside the classroom, he noticed that the whole class was looking at him. Harry's face became hot and he quickly sat down, next to Hermione. He didn't dare to look anywhere else, but the floor. He then quickly looked at Hermione and she looked at him. She smiled and that made Harry a little happier. She wasn't mad at him anymore.

He then looked at Snape. His professor didn't say anything and Harry thanked God for that.

When Potions finished, Hermione said to Harry: "Was it so hard to come?"

Harry smiled and said: "I guess not".

"See? What did I tell you?" said Hermione and smiled.

Ron then stepped closer to his two best friends and said: "I'm really glad you came, mate. Without you here, it was a nightmare".

Harry laughed. He felt happy. Just as he, Ron and Hermione wanted to leave the Potions's classroom, Snape stopped them.

"Potter, you stay here. Granger and Weasley, you can go"

Harry rolled his eyes. So Snape really was serious, when he said that they need to talk. Harry looked both his friends and he saw that they were both really worried.

"Good luck, Harry" said Hermione quietly.

"Hang in there, mate" quickly added Ron and they both left the classroom.


	5. Chapter 5

**I was really bored today and had absolutely nothing to do, so I decided to write another chapter. This one is a little shorter than the other, but still I hope you'll like it. Again, I know that the English is not perfect, but still try to enjoy reading this story**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo**

When Ron and Hermione left, Snape and Harry were alone in the classroom. They were both quiet, because none of them dared to talk. Harry looked around the classroom and he saw that professor Snape was trying to say something, but he just didn't know how to start the conversation with his student.

"Why don't you sit down?" said Snape after a few minutes.

"O-Okay" said Harry awkwardly and sat down on the nearest chair. And then... silence again. Harry saw how his professor started walking around the classroom, still trying to start the conversation.

"S-So... what did you want to talk about?" said Harry.

"You know, don't pretend to be stupid, Potter" snapped Snape.

"Y-Yeah... But you said that there's nothing that we can talk about" murmured Harry and looked at the floor.

"Look" started Snape, who was trying to stay calm. "I don't want to fight with you again. I just want us to have a normal talk."

Harry was stunned as Snape said those words. "Okay" replied Harry, still a bit surprised.

Snape came closer to Harry and sat next to him. "I know that I said some horrible words to you" started Snape slowly.

Harry nodded and said: "Yeah... I said some horrible words to you too, sir"

Snape looked at Harry and countinued. "I didn't know that you knew what your father did".

Harry's heart started beating faster again. Harry looked the floor again, he couldn't look his professor anymore. It hurt him too much when he remembered what his father did to his teacher. Harry felt ashamed to have a father like that. He could feel how the tears started gathering in his eyes. Harry knew that his father was a monster, a freak... But what hurt him the most was the fact that Snape said that he is like his father. Harry knew that this was not true. He would have never do this to another human being.

When Snape saw Harry's reaction he cursed. Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned that again in front of the boy.

"Potter, calm down. I'm not angry with you anymore" tried Snape to calm down Harry.

"I'm not like my father" was all that Harry said. His voice was trembling badly and he was still looking at the floor. He didn't want his professor to see him crying. He didn't want to show Snape how weak he actually was.

"I know that..." said Snape and countinued, "That is why I needed to talk to you today. If I knew that you knew that, I would never compare you with you father".

"But still, you did. Even if you thought that I didn't know... _you _knew." said Harry and angrily whipped his tears away.

"You are right, Mr. Potter. I was really angry, so I said those words. I never thought that you would take them that seriously" explained professor to his student.

Harry finally looked up. After a few seconds Harry finally realized what Snape was up to – he was trying to apologize to him!

"Plus, you are only 15 years old. I sometimes forget that. Just please try to understand me" added Snape.

Harry's eyes were wide opened. He was really surprised by Snape's words. He knew that Snape was being honest.

"I know I'm not good at this..." said Snape and countinued "What I was trying to say is, Potter... I want to apologize for my behaviour. I was acting childish and selfish. I hope you'll accept my apology".

Harry still didn't say anything. Everything seemed unrealistic to him. What the hell did just happen?! Did Snape just apologize to him? If somebody would tell Harry three days ago that Snape would be apologizing to him, he would call them crazy.

Harry looked at Snape again. His professor really looked desperate. Suddenly, Harry smiled.

When Snape saw the smile on Harry's face, he was confused. What was the boy trying to do now? Is he making fun of him again?!

"What's wrong?" Snape snapped. He really didn't like the way Harry was smiling.

"Nothing... I'm just happy" Harry said quietly.

"Oh..." was all that Snape said.

"I accept you apology, sir" said Harry.

"Thank you. So, will you stop avoiding me now, Potter?" asked Snape.

Harry's face heated up. So Snape really did know that he was avoiding him?!

"A-avoiding you, sir?" asked Harry, acting puzzled.

"Seriously, Potter? You seriously thought that I didn't notice how you started avoiding me everywhere?" asked Snape again and raised his left eyebrow.

Harry blushed furiously. Was he really that obvious? Harry was too embaressed to say anything, so he just nodded.

Snape nodded too and said: "And I hope that you'll start attending Potions again"

Harry nodded again and looked at the floor. He was still really embaressed. And he becane even more embaressed when he remembered the day that he fainted in front of his professor. His body became hot again at the thought that Snape was the one who brought him to the Hospital Wing.

When Snape saw how Harry was just standing there and not saying anything he was afraid that he again said something that upset the boy.

"Professor..." started Harry and then quickly shut his mouth.

"What's the metter, Potter?" asked Snape.

"You know the other day when I fainted..." said Harry and his voice was trembling.

"Yes?"

"Did you bring me to the Hospital Wing?" asked Harry.

"Of course, who did you think that brought you there?" asked Snape, puzzled.

"I-I see..." said Harry and he was getting more and more embaressed by a second. However, he really wanted to know what happened. Plus probably Snape did not carry him! He just probably used a spell. But he wanted to know, he needed to know. He neede to know, because he wanted that his body would stop playing tricks on him.

"M-May I ask you how you brought me to the Hospital Wing? I mean did you use a spell or...?"

Snape was shocked. So this is why the boy is acting this way?! Snape couldn't believe his ears and he almost smiled when he saw how embaressed the poor boy was.

"I carried you to the Hospital Wing" simply said Snape.

Harry's body froze. So Snape really did carry him to the Hospital Wing. Harry was so embaressed at that moment that he wanted to die. He just couldn't erase the picture of him being carried by Snape from his head.

"What's wrong?" asked Snape, because he was really confused by now.

"I-It's nothig" said Harry and quickly added "You know, it's pretty late and Hermione and Ron and probably asking themselves where I am, so I think I should really be going now"

Snape just nodded and said: "Goodbye, Mr. Potter".

"Goodbye, professor" said Harry and quickly ran outside the classroom.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo**

Harry found Ron and Hermione in The Entrance Hall. When they noticed him, they quickly got closer to him.

"What did he say? He didn't expell you, did he?" attacked Hermione with questions.

"No, he didn't" anwsered Harry.

"Then why did you have to stay there?" asked Ron.

"He apologized to me" simply anwsered Harry.

Both Ron and Hermione were really surprised. "He apologized to you? Are you sure Harry?" asked him Hermione.

Harry smiled and nodded.

"But why did he apologize to you?" asked again Hermione.

"Well..." said Harry. He didn't want to tell his two best friends the whole story. He didn't want to tell them that his father was a rapist and a monster, so he decided to lie. But what he told them, wasn't a complete lie. "He just apologized to me for embaressing me in front of the whole classroom."

"He did that?" asked Ron, really surprised.

Harry nodded.

"So... did something else happen today?" asked him Ron and smiled.

Harry looked at his best friend confused. What did Ron have in mind? Harry started thinking again... What did happen today. Oh! Cho! He almost forgot about her.

"Well, if you must know... Cho asked me out" said Harry.

Ron smile got wider, so Harry knew that somebody have already told him before that. However, Hermione was really surprised.

"She did? What did you say?" asked Hermione.

"He said yes of course, Hermione" anwsered Ron.

"So are you boyfriend and girlfriend now?" asked Hermione again.

"I don't know" replied Harry. "But we are going on a date this Friday, so I guess I will find out that time."

"Where are taking her, Harry?" asked Ron.

"To Hogsmeade"

"That's nice" said Hermione.

Harry nodded and tried to smile, but he just couldn't put a smile on his face. He didn't know what was wrong with him. How could he almost forget Cho? How could he feel nothing when she asked him out and when he kissed her cheek? Harry was getting more and more confused. Hermione and Ron noticed that something was wrong, so Hermione immediately asked: "What's wrong, Harry?"

Harry looked at his two best friends. He didn't know how to anwser her question. Plus he wanted to be alone to think.

"Nothing, Hermione. I just... want to be alone a little" explained Harry.

"Okay..." awsered Ron unsure. "But you know that if something is wrong, you can always talk to us, right?"

Harry just nodded and said: "Of course" and then he left.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello :) Thank you for all your lovely reviews, it means a lot :)**

**so here's the next chapter and I really hope that you'll all like this chapter**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo**

It was Friday morning and something started shaking Harry's arm. Because Harry wanted to sleep a little longer, that really annoyed him, so he said with sleepy voice "Leave me alone!". However, the annoying shaking still didn't stop. Harry was really annoyed by now, so he decided to open his eyes, to see which idiot was trying to wake him up. When Harry opened his green eyes, he saw his best friend, Ron, who had a wide smile on his face.

"Ron!" screamed Harry. "What the hell you want?!"

Ron's smile grew even bigger. "Come on, Harry, wake up. Today's a big day!" said Ron excited.

Big day? What big day? Harry's eyes were wide open, because he was really confused and he really didn't even know what day it was.

"What do you mean?" asked Harry.

"Oh, don't act stupid, Harry. You know... It's _Friday_" said Ron.

Friday... Friday... Friday...

Oh!

Cho!

Harry couldn't believe that he forgot again. "Oh yeah, yeah, the date with Cho" said Harry, not too excited.

Ron noticed that something was bothering his best friend, so he asked. "Is something wrong, Harry?"

"No, not really" lied Harry. Harry was tired. He was constantly asking himself what was wrong with him. Whenever he thought about Cho, he felt absolutely nothing! Was that even possible? Because not even a year ago he was madly in love with her. Plus Cho was really beautiful, she really was. So that left Harry even more confused.

The other thing that was bothering him was the fact that he just couldn't get Snape out of his head. Since the day that Snape carried him to the Hospital Wing, he wasn't himself. He just couldn't stop thinking about Snape's arms holding his body. And everytime he thought about that his body would react really weird. He would start feeling hot and he would always blush.

Harry let out a quiet sigh and looked at Ron, who said: "All right...", with not so sure voice,

Harry saw how worried his friend was and because he didn't want his friend to worry about him, he lied to Ron once again. "Well... The thing is, I'm nervous. I really am nervous about our first date. I mean, this will be my first date. And as you know, Cho dated Cedric before and what if... I would dissapoint her?" said Harry, hoping that Ron would believe his lie.

Ron smiled and said: "So, that's really what was bothering you, Harry? Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"I... I was embaressed to admit this" lied Harry.

"Cheer up, Harry. There's nothing to be nervous about. You are a great and funny guy, you'll do amazing today"

Harry was really happy with the fact that Ron believed him, so he added: "Yeah, I guess"

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo**

After the breakfast Harry, Hermione and Ron had Detention of Dark arts. After that they had a doubble period of Potions. Harry attended the class, as he promised to his professor. Even though that the lessons were again really boring, Harry didn't fell asleep or pretend to be boring. He carefully listened ot his professor and he was even taking notes. When Hermione saw that he was really surprised and really happy to see her friend finally taking school seriously.

After the class ended and when Harry and his friends were just about to leave the classroom, Snape stopped them again.

"Potter, I need to talk to you" said Snape with monotone voice.

That really surprised Harry. He didn't know what would his professor need him now. He didn't do anything this time! His two best friends were surprised as well.

"Don't punish him, professor. Harry didn't do anything. You saw him, he was even taking notes!" said Ron and Harry quickly nodded.

"Silence, Mr Weasley" said Snape with cold voice and then he countinued "I don't need your opinion. Please, leave Mr. Weasley and Mrs. Granger"

Ron didn't say a word more. Ron and Hermione listened Snape and they quickly left the classroom.

"Did I do something wrong, professor?" innocenlty asked Harry.

"Tonight, detention at 5 pm" said Snape.

That shocked Harry. "Why?! You promised that you wouldn't punish me"

"I changed my mind" said Snape.

"B-But I can't tonight, sir" quickly said Harry.

"May I ask you, why?" said professor and raised his left eyebrow.

"Because..." Yeah, why couldn't he?! Harry knew that he has to come up with something really good. Oh yeah! Cho. "Because, tonight I have a date with Cho" said Harry.

"I don't care" was all that Snape said, before he left the classroom.

As Harry walked towards the Entrance Hall, he tried to figure out what was wrong with his professor. Harry was almost 100% sure that he didn't do anything bad since the day when Snape apologized to him. Snape even promised him that he wouldn't punish him. However, this _was _Snape and Harry knew that his professor was always hard to figure out.

Then Cho remembered Cho. How on Earth will he tell her that today they won't be able to go on a date? He knew that the girl will be really disappointed and he only hoped that she wouldn't blame herself. However, Harry himself was really happy that he wouldn't go on a date with her. He felt horrible as he lied to her. But he couldn't reject her neither. He didn't want to see her heart get broken again.

Wait a minute? Did he say that he was quite happy not to go on that day? So that meant that he was actually happier to be in detention with Snape, right? Harry quickly shook his head and convinced himself, that this was not te truth.

Ron and Hermione were waiting for Harry in the Entrance Hall.

"What did Snape want?" asked Ron.

"He gave me detention... tonight at 5 pm" murmured Harry.

"Why?" asked Hermione.

Harry shruged his sholders. "I don't know".

"But that means that you won't be able to have your date with Cho!" commented Hermione.

"I know. I've told him that, but he just didn't care" explained Harry.

"What an idiot" said Ron.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to go some other day" said Harry.

"Yeah, but that's not the point Harry. Cho will be really disappointed. I've heard her talking to her friends yesterday. She was really looking forward to the date" said Hermione.

"I know. But, Hermione, what else should I do?" asked Harry.

"Nothing, I guess" anwsered Hermione.

Suddenly, somebody hugged Harry. His body froze, because he didn't know who it was. He quickly turned around and saw Cho, who was smiling like crazy.

"Hi, Harry" she happily said.

"Hi, Cho" he anwsered back.

Ron and Hermione looked at each other and Ron said: "We will get going. See you later, Harry".

Harry waved them goodbye.

"So, Harry... I just wanted to know when you finish with your classes tonight. I finish at 3:30 pm, so we can go on our date at 4:30 pm" said Cho excited.

Harry felt really bad for Cho. He saw how excited the girl was and it really made him sad, that the happiness will soon go away.

"Yeah, Cho... there's something I need to tell you about our date" started Harry.

The smile from Cho's mouth disappeared. She knew that Harry would tell her something horrible. She just knew it.

"W-What about it?" asked Cho and her voice started shaking.

"We can't go today. We'll go another day" said Harry.

Harry saw that the tears started gathering in Cho's eyes. And he felt horrible already.

"W-Why not today? D-Did I do something wrong? Why did you change your mind?" was asking Cho.

Harry opened his mouth as he wanted to explain to Cho why he canceled their date, but Cho, just wouldn't let him speak.

"It's because of me, right? I'm not pretty enough, right?! Of course, I'm not. Plus how could I even win against all the other girls who ask you out? I'm ugly I kno-"

"Cho, calm down. I still want to go on a date with you, I just can't go today"

Cho was crying really hard by now. She said: "Why?"

"Because Snape gave me detention. This is the truth" explained Harry.

"Really?" asked Cho.

Harry nodded. As he did that, Harry noticed that a small smile appeared on Cho's lips.

"I'm sorry for making you cry, Cho" whispered Harry and hugged Cho. Harry smiled. The hug felt nice, but it was not anything he expected. Hugging Cho felt the same as hugging Hermione. Nothing more. His body did not respond at all.

"Don't cry anymore" said Harry a whipped Cho's tears away.

Cho giggled and quickly kissed Harry's cheek. However, Harry again did not feel anything. Because he didn't want to make Cho sad again, he forced a smile on his lips. When Cho saw the smile on Harry's face, she was really happy.

"So, what do you want to do now?" asked Harry.

"I don't know. But I have a free period right now" anwsered Cho.

"Me too. What do you say if we walk around Hogswarts for a bit?"

Cho quickly nodded.

Harry held Cho's hand all the time when they were walking around the Hogswarts. He tried to enjoy their walk, but he just couldn't concetrate. He just couldn't stop thinking about these weird feelings that he was having. Harry had a hunch what might be wrong with him, but he just didn't want to admit it.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo**

It was 4:20 pm now and Harry decided to go on his detention. He knew that he was really early, but he wanted to finish earlier. At first Harry didn't want to go at all, but then because he promised his professor that he wouldn't avoid him anymore, he went after all. On his way there, he was again thinking about all the weird things that were happening to him. Harry knew that something was wrong with him. It must have been something wrong with him!

Harry soon came to the Potions's classroom. The door was shut, so Harry knocked on the door. But he received no anwser, so he tried again. Again... nothing. Then suddenly, Harry noticed that a few meters from the classroom, there was a door opened, which was usually closed. And because Harry was really curious, he really wanted to know what was in that room.

Harry carefully stepped into the room. Harry soon discovered that the room were actually Snape's private rooms. Harry slowly started walking and looking around the room. He was surprised. He expected that Snape's rooms would be darker, but this was the complete opposite. The room actually felt really cosy.

Harry stepped into Snape's living room. There was a small table and on a table there was a picture. Harry got closer to see who was on that picture. On the picture there was Snape and his mother Lily, hugging and smiling together. Harry just had to smile. It felt really weird to see Snape smiling.

Harry was really surprised that he didn't find Snape anywhere. Then suddenly, he heard a noise coming from his left side. Harry was sure that this was his professor, so he went into that direction from where the noises were coming from. Harry quickly realized that the noises were actually a sound of running water. However, Harry could not predict what happened next.

Harry did find Snape... while Snape was taking a shower. Harry knew that he needed to look away and leave the room, but he just couldn't stop staring at his professor. He felt the annoying heath spreading through his body again, and he knew that his face was really red by now. But just seeing his professor naked and wet made Harry so... turned on?!

When Harry finally realized what was going on, he felt ashamed. He knew that he needed to leave the room as quickly as possible. Harry quikcly ran out of the room. When he was outside the room, he just sat on the cold and wet floor and tried to calm himself down. This has not just happen! It could not be true!

He didn't just see his professor naked!


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello there :). Here's a new chapter and I hope you'll all like it**

****AGAIN, I KNOW THAT MY ENGLISH IS NOT PERFECT. IT IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE AND I AM TRYING THE BEST AS I CAN. PLEASE TRY TO UNDERSTAND THAT. THANK YOU****

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo **

Harry was still sitting on the cold and wet floor. He felt absolutely horrible and ashamed. He felt sick that he was so turned on by that. He was a disgusting pervert. What kind of person would like seeing his teacher naked? Harry anwsered to that question, just a sick and twisted person. Not a normal person.

Than something crossed his mind. Was he like his father? Was he as horrible person as his father?! Harry quickly shook his head. He could not be like him. He just couldn't. But that thought just could not leave his mind. Was he really able to do something like this? Probably not, but he was still angry with himself that he was feeling those feelings. It just wasn't right. It was so unnatural. It was sick and perverted and at that moment he just wished to die.

All that he ever wanted was to be a normal boy, a normal boy with normal parents and a normal life. But Harry was anything but a normal person. Harry didn't want to be famous, he wanted to be just Harry with mother and father. Father... with a normal father, not a freak like James was. And now those feelings... It was just all too much for this 15 year old boy.

And some day he will have to face Lord Voldemort and kill him. Well, probably Voldemort would kill him first. And knowing that was slowly and painfully killing Harry. Plus he was blaming himself for Cedric's death. It was his fault, who's else could be? Harry knew that it was all his fault. It was his fault that Voldemort killed Cedric... Cho's boyfriend.

And Cho... Harry felt so bad that he was lying to her like that. She was a nice girl, she really was and she didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve that her boyfriend died and now that Harry was lying to her.

Harry felt the hot tears gathering in his eyes. He wanted to hide them, but he was just too weak to do anything. Harry seriously considered killing himself so many times, especially this year. But he was just too weak to do anything. He was a coward, like his father was. A disgusting and a cowardly person. Harry let the hot tears rolling down his cheeks.

After a few minutes, Snape came out of his private rooms. When he saw Harry sitting on the cold floor and crying hardly, he was shocked. He didn't have experiences with situations like this and he didn't know how to react. But something in his heart was telling him that he needed to calm the boy down. Because seeing Harry like that really bothered Snape.

"Potter" carefully said Snape.

Harry got scared. He quickly looked up to see who was talking to him. When he saw Snape, he just hid his face into his palms.

"Potter, what's the matter?" tried Snape again, but he received no verbal anwser.

Snape was by now really worried. What on Eart could upset the boy like this?

"Potter!" raised Snape his voice.

Harry could not listen to Snape anymore. He whished that his professor wouldn't call him Potter, because that was his father's name... not his. He wasn't like his father. And because of that, he pressed his hands against his ears. It just hurt too much being called Potter.

"I'm not like him..." said Harry, while crying.

That surprised Snape. He couldn't believe that Harry was still bothered by that. He didn't know that the boy would care that much.

"Potter, I never said that-"

"Don't call me Potter. I'm not my father!" screamed Harry.

"I'm sorry" after a few moments of silence said Snape and countinued, "Po-... Harry, what's the matter?" asked Snape, with unusual warm voice. Then he got onto his knees, so that he was closer to Harry.

When Snape called Harry by his first name, Harry stopped crying. He was just really surprised. But, on the other hand, it felt nice when Snape called him Harry. It felt like somebody was hugging his heart.

"W-What?" asked Harry, trying to make sure that he heard right.

"Well, that's your name, isn't it?" said Snape and Harry noticed that his professor was embaressed.

Everything seemed so unrealistic to Harry at that moment. He looked at Snape, who was really close to Harry right now. Harry noticed that and he immediately blushed. Because he was so embaressed, he quickly looked at the floor.

"So, what's wrong?"asked Snape again.

Harry didn't know how to anwser his professor. He didn't want to lie to his professor, but he wasn't ready to tell him everything, so he decided that he would tell him only a part of everything.

"Eveything..." slowly started Harry and then he countinued. "Cedric's death... it's all my fault".

Snape was expecting this. He knew that Harry would blame himself.

"It's not your fault, Harry" quietly said Snape.

When Snape called him again by his first name, Harry blushed again. It felt so weird, yet so nice. Harry couldn't describe the feelings with words.

"B-But he got killed, because of me... If Voldemort would just kill me when I was a baby then..."

Snape shook his head. "You couldn't know that Voldemort would be there, could you?"

"I kow that, but still... if I wasn't there, Cedric wouldn't die" murmured Harry.

Snape just couldn't believe what was the boy saying. How on Earth could Harry be responsible for Cedric's death? Severus then soon remembered that he knew another person, who liked to blame herself for everything, just like Harry. And that person was no other than Harry's mother, Lily.

"And now that Voldemort came back... But nobody believes me. Everyone thinks that I'm just making this up and that I'm crazy" countinued Harry.

"I believe you" quietly said Snape.

Again, Snape's reaction made Harry stun. He couldn't understand why was his professor so kind to him all of the sudden. Harry thought that maybe his professor felt sorry for him, or maybe he was trying to calm him down. Harry just couldn't figure out what was his professor up to. However, it felt good that Snape believed him and that he didn't think that Harry was just acting crazy. Harry smiled for a few seconds, but that smile suddenly faded away, when he remembered the fact that Voldemort was probably looking for him and when he would find him, he would try to kill Harry.

Snape noticed that Harry's smile disappeared, so he asked the boy once again: "What is it? You know, if you talk about things with other people it actually helps. Believe me, I was the same, but your mother thought me this."

Harry looked at Snape. This was the first time when Severus mentioned Lily. Harry wanted to tell everything to his professor, but talking about things like this was too hard for Harry. It was just too painful and it made him remember painful things. But he didn't want to remember. Harry wanted to forget everything.

He just couldn't say it out loud that Voldemort will kill him. Harry wanted to live, even though many people didn't like him. Even though he was through a lot, he still liked his life. He wanted to grow up, have a family.

Hot tears started gathering in Harry's eyes again. Harry hated that. He hated the fact that he was so weak, he couldn't do anything but cry.

Snape couldn't stand it anymore. He didn't want to admit it, but he actually felt bothered when he saw Harry crying. He knew that he needed to try calm down Harry, but he didn't know how to, so he tried again: "Harry, you can trust me"

"H-He'll kill me" finally said Harry. His own words hurt Harry.

Just as Snape wanted to say something, Harry interrupted him: "I feel so lonely sometimes. Even though I have many friends, I feel lonely. I am pathetic, right? I should be happy to have so much people around me who love me, but I just..."

Harry was crying really hard by now and that was starting to annoy him. Why was he crying in stead of doing something? He really was a coward. A weak person. He must've been... And that was the reason why he couldn't help Cedric. He was a weak person, just like his father.

"I'm such a coward" quietly said Harry.

"That's not true" anwsered Snape.

"How is that not true? If I wasn't a coward I would do something. I would save Cedric and I wouldn't be here crying all the time"

"Harry, you are ony 15. And for a 15 year old you are pretty strong" said Snape.

For s few seconds, Harry didn't say anything. He was just sitting there and trying to calm himself down. However, he just couldn't stop crying. He knew that he needed to do something or think of something else to stop himself crying, but all the things he tried it just didn't help. And by now he felt really embaressed for crying like that in front of his professor.

"Potter, calm down" said Snape and put his hand on Harry's right shoulder.

As Snape's hand touched Harry's shoulder, Harry's body stiffened. He could feel that annyoing heat spreading through his body and he started breathing faster. He just hoped that Snape wouldn't notice that he blushed and that his heart started beating like crazy. However, Harry finally stopped crying, because he was too busy trying to control his body.

When a few moments have passed by, Harry felt better. It actually helped to talk to somebody else about his problems. He looked at his professor, to thank him.

"Thank you, sir. It really did help talking about those things" said Harry.

"See? What did I tell you?" said Snape and Harry could swear that his professor almost smiled. Snape then quickly got up onto his legs. As Harry's professor did that, his hand left Harry's shoulder. Harry got so used to that feeling that when the hand disappeared from his shoulder he felt somehow disappointed. He wished that Snape would touch him again.

Harry then got onto his legs also.

"I'm glad you're feeling better, Harry" said Snape with an unusual soft voice, making Harry blush. Snape then lifted his arm and professor quickly ran his fingers through Harry's hair. As Severus did that, Harry opened his eyes wide. He was completely shocked and confused by his professor's actions. What the hell was Snape trying to do?

Harry really liked when Snape touched his head, but he soon wished that his professor wouldn't do that. Because Harry's body reacted in a way Harry didn't like. When Snape's hand touched Harry's head it felt like electricity started spreading through Harry's body.

When Snape saw how the boy reacted, he quickly removed his hand from Harry's head. Severus knew that he shouldn't do that. Harry was his student, and he was Harry's teacher. However, at that moment he just couldn't resist patting Harry's head, because at that moment the boy looked really cute.

"P-Professor... why did you give me detention today?" asked Harry, because he didn't want that Snape would notice how red his face was.

Snape was silent for a few moments, before he anwsered Harry's question. There was a reason why Snape gave Harry detention, but it wasn't because of Harry's bad behaviour. Snape knew the real reason, but it was just too embaressing to tell anymone, especially to Harry.

"Well, like I said before... It's not because of your bad behaviour. It's just..." Snape paused and tried to come up with something that Harry would believe. Quite a few seconds passed by before Snape countinued "You weren't attending my classes for two weeks, and I thought you might need a help with catching up with your classmates."

Harry was just looking at Snape, not saying anything. He almost started laughing when Snape said that. Harry knew that his professor was lying, because Snape would never do something like this. Heck, not just Snape, but every teacher that Harry know wouldn't help him if he skip their classes. However, Harry didn't want to bother his professor, so he just nodded.

When Harry nodded, Snape relaxed a bit. He knew that Harry probably didn't believe him, but as long as the boy didn't start to attack him with new questions, that was all that Snape needed.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo**

During their private lessons, Harry did't say anything. He was just listening to Snape and taking notes. However, he wasn't mentally pressent in those lessons. Harry was asking himself constantly why was he feeling this way around Snape. He has never in his life felt that way. Even last year when he liked Cho not.

Harry liked when Snape touched him. Even though it felt weird, Harry liked it. And what was bothering Harry was the fact that Snape was a man! And Harry had never in his life liked somebody who was the same sex as him. And there was an annoying question constantly bothering Harry. But the question was so embaressing that even Harry couldn't say it.

When Snape saw that Harry wasn't paying attention, that annoyed him.

"Mr. Potter, could you please listen when I talk."

Harry soon stopped thinking and quickly anwsered "I'm sorry, sir. But I think we can stop now with these lessons and countinue tomorrow".

Harry really had enough. He needed to be alone, so that he could think everything over.

"But it's only been an hour since we started" said Snape.

Only an hour? Harry thought that he's been there much more time.

"W-Well, I have to go somewhere. And I have to do a lot of homework" lied Harry.

"Go somewhere?" asked Snape with his monotone and cold voice.

Harry quickly remembered Cho this time.

"Cho, I promised that we'll get together." Harry felt really bad that he was using her like that, but at times like this it really helped to have a 'girlfriend.'

"You can meet her some other time" said Snape and he sounded really angry. Harry was surprised at Snape's reaction.

Snape ran his fingers through his hair. This was the first time that Snape lost control over his emotions. Since Lily broke his heart, Snape always hid and controlled his emotions really well, but not this time. Harry noticed how his professor's body started shaking a bit.

"What's wrong, sir?" asked Harry, puzzled. He had absolutely no idea what was wrong with Snape.

"What I mean is... your should focus your time more on studying than dating. You need to be prepared if something really happens"

Harry knew that his professor had a point. However, Harry could not focus on studying now. Harry needed to sort his feelings out.

"I know, but... She was really disappointed that I skipped our first date today, so I want to make up to her" said Harry.

Snape didn't say anything, so Harry thought that he can go, but just as he was ready to leave the Potion's classroom, Snape went after him and quickly grabbed his wrist.

"Please stay" quietly said Snape.

Harry quickly pushed Snape's hand away. What the hell was his professor doing? Harry didn't know anymore. Was his professor making fun of him? Was Snape trying to hurt Harry, because he read Snape's diary? Harry knew that this could be the only logical anwser to his question. However, when he looked Snape, Harry could see an unknown emotion in his professor's eyes. Harry couldn't figure out what that emotion was.

The next thing that Harry did was turn away and ran out of Snape's classroom.

When Harry left Snape loudly cursed. He was angry with himself that he couldn't control himself in front of the 15 year old boy.

Snape usually hid his emotions very well. But there was always an emotion that he couldn't hide. And that emotion was jealousy.

Severus Snape was jealous.


	8. Chapter 8

******Hello there. Thank you for all your lovely reviews :) and I hope you'll like this chapter too **

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo**

**One month later**

Harry was lying on his bed. He felt so happy, but he just didn't know why. It's been a long time since he felt so happy. And Harry didn't even care what made him so happy. It just felt really nice to be happy after such a long period of time. Harry's eyes were closed and there was a wide smile on his face.

Suddenly, somebody stepped inside of the room. Harry quickly sat on his bed, to see who came inside of the room. The person who stepped inside of the room was Severus Snape. When Harry saw his professor he felt really happy. And Snape seemed to be happy too. He stepped closer to Harry and then sat on the bed, next to him.

Harry smiled and tried to hide how nervous and embaressed he was.

Snape then lifted his arm and ran his fingers through Harry's hair. As Snape touched Harry, he was even happier. He wanted that his professor wouldn't stop touching him. He liked the way Snape touched him. He needed to feel Snape's touch.

Snape then hugged Harry. When Harry felt Snape's big and muscular body against his thin, he almost forgot how to breath. It felt amazing when Snape's right hand started carresing his back. Harry wanted more.

Snape then pulled back a little. Then he whispered into Harry's left ear: "Harry".

The room started spinning in front of Harry's eyes. Everything was just too perfect. Harry didn't even know where he was, but he didn't care. All that he wanted was Snape.

Harry let out a silent moan when Snape started kissing his neck. Harry closed his eyes and completely gave in. He could feel how Snape was getting closer and closer to his lips. When he felt Snape's breath against his lips Harry let out a silent sigh. Right before Snape kissed him, Harry opened his eyes and he woke up.

Harry quickly sat on his bed and when he finally realized what just happened, he felt so embaressed. This wasn't the first time that Harry had dreams like this. And Harry felt so horrible that he was dreaming about things like this. It seemed so wrong to him.

When Harry wanted to go to the bathroom, he discovered another problem. He quickly realized that he was hard. This was the first time that Harry got an erection because of Snape. Harry just hurried to the bathroom and locked himself. He then sat on the cold floor and hugged himself. His body was shivering, Harry was crying.

Harry then finally asked himself a question that was bothering him this past month.

_Am I gay?_

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooo**_  
_

It was breakfast time and Harry was sitting in the Great Hall. Ron and Hermione were hapiliy chatting, but Harry was silent. Harry was looking at his food, but not eating it. He wasn't feeling hungry at all. It's been a month since he has last spoken to Severus Snape. Harry started avoiding his professor again. However, he was attending Snape's lessons, but everytime when Snape wanted to talk to him, Harry hurried away and replied that he doesn't have time.

Harry was now dating Cho. He still didn't have any feelings for her. But he just couldn't leave her. He didn't want to break her heart. They went on a few dates and Cho looked really happy with him. However, whenever Cho wanted to kiss him, Harry made an excuse to avoid kissing his girlfriend. And he thought that dating Cho would help him forget Snape. But he had not such luck.

Harry's best friend, Hermione has noticed that something was wrong with Harry. She tried talking to him, but whenever she tried that, Harry pushed her away and lied to her that nothing was wrong with him. However, Hermione knew that her best friend was lying to her and she was really worried about that.

Harry sighed and looked around The Great Hall. He was searching for Snape. Severus Snape was sitting at the teacher's table. Snape looked really sad and hurt. And that made Harry feel even worse. But he didn't know what to do. He didn't want to talk to Snape. He just couldn't. He felt to embaressed about those dreams that he has been having.

Snape noticed that Harry was looking at him. Harry blushed, but he didn't turn away. He didn't know how to react. Snape at first looked a bit surprised, but then Harry saw that his professor sent him a little smile. Harry's body became hot and then he quickly turned away.

"Harry!" somebody said behind him.

Harry turned around quickly and saw that behind him was his girlfriend, Cho.

Harry tried to smile. "Hi, Cho. How are you?" tried to sound happy Harry.

"Oh, I'm great" happily said Cho and sat into Harry's lap.

Harry didn't know to react as Cho did that. He forced a smile on his face and kissed Cho's cheek. Cho blushed and giggled like a school girl.

"So, since it's Sunday, what are we going to do, Harry?" asked Cho.

Harry looked at her. He didn't know what to anwser her. Honestly, he didn't want to spend time with her. Because when he was with her, he was only lying to her and he really did feel like an horrible person.

"I don't know. What do you want to do, Cho?" asked Harry, not paying any special attention to her.

"I don't really care. As long as we are together..." said Cho and got dangerously close to Harry's face. Harry looked at Snape. When Snape saw how close Cho was to Harry, he just looked at his plate. Harry could see that his professor was really irritated.

Harry quickly moved away, before Cho could kiss him.

"Come on Harry, we've been dating for a month now, but we haven't even kissed yet" said Cho, who was a bit angry now.

"I don't want that our first kiss would be in front of the whole school. It's not romantic" lied Harry.

Cho nodded and quickly got up. "You are right. We should get somewhere else"

Before Harry could do anything, Cho already grabbed his arm and dragged him out of The Great Hall.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooo**

Cho dragged Harry into an empty hallway.

"See? Now we are alone" said Cho and got closer to Harry.

Harry tried to find an excuse, but he just couldn't think of anything. Harry didn't know what to do. He didn't want to kiss Cho, because he knew that he probably wouldn't feel anything. However, he wanted to make sure. He needed to know if he really didn't feel anything. Harry then finally decided to kiss Cho.

"O-Okay" slowly said Harry.

Cho smiled and got so close to Harry that they were almost touching each other with their noses. Harry's heart was beating fast. Not because he wanted to kiss Cho, but because he was afraid what will happen. He hoped that he would finally started to feel something. Harry felt Cho's hot breath on his cheek, but that was really all that he felt.

When Harry remembered his dreams and how excited he was when Snape was touching him, he wanted to scream. And because he just wanted to forget those dreams, he got even closer to Cho and he pressed his cold lips against Cho's.

Harry was waiting for something to happen, but nothing happened. His body didn't became hot and he wasn't embaressed. He felt so sad. But before he could pull away, Cho kissed him back. Harry put his arms around Cho's waist and pulled her closer to him. When their bodies touched, Harry still didn't feel anything. And after a few more kisses, Harry broke their kiss.

When Harry looked at Cho, she seemed very happy. But Harry wasn't and Cho noticed that,.

"What's wrong, Harry? Am I a bad kisser?" she asked worried.

"N-No, you are a good kisser" he said quietly.

"Then what's wrong? You don't look very happy..." she said and Harry knew that she was getting angry.

"It's just that..." started Harry, but then he stopped because he didn't know what to tell his grilfriend what was really going on.

"I know what's wrong" said Cho and countinued "It's all my fault. This was your first kiss, right? And I shouldn't have pushed you this hard. It was way too early and now-"

"No, Cho, that's no it" said Harry.

"Then what is it?" asked Cho. Her anger turned into sadness.

Harry really didn't know what to do. He didn't want to break Cho's heart, but he also didn't want to countinue lying to her. After a few moments of thinking he decided to tell Cho only a piece of the truth.

"I think I like somebody else" was honest Harry. When he said those words, his heart started beating faster. This was the first time he actually admitted that he liked Snape.

"What?! Who?" asked Cho.

"I... I can't tell you that"

"Why not?! You are my boyfriend, we are supposed to tell each other everything. Who is this person that you like? Is she from Gryffondor?! It's Ginny, right? She is always around you" started talking faster Cho. She was really angry by now.

"Cho, I said I won't tell you" said Harry, who was avoiding eye contact with Cho.

"Then at least look at me when you talk to me!" shouted Cho and tears started rolling down her cheek. Harry lifted his head. When he saw that he made Cho cry, he regretted telling Cho the truth.

"You promised me that you would never make me cry, remember?" asked Cho and angrily whipped her tears away.

"Cho, you have to believe me. I didn't want to hurt you." said Harry.

Cho shook her head. Shee couldn't believe what Harry was saying.

"So, does this mean we are breaking up?" asked Cho, who was still crying.

Harry looked at the floor again. He couldn't look at Cho. After a few seconds Harry slowly nodded. As Harry did that, Cho's crying got even harder.

"Then anwser me something else, Harry. Did you like this person before you started going out with me?"

Harry didn't want to anwser anymore of Cho's questions, but he knew that she at least deserved the truth. So, after a few seconds Harry nodded again.

Cho lifted her arm, and slapped Harry. When Cho did that, it really hurt Harry, but he didn't say anything. He knew that he deserved that slap.

"Then why did you say yes when I asked you out? You knew that you liked somebody... And you knew that Cedric died and that I really liked him... but you still. You are a horrible person, Harry" said Cho and slapped Harry again. Harry didn't say anything. He just stood there and looked at the floor.

"Mrs. Chang, I think that will be enough" said a voice behind Cho.

Harry quickly looked up and saw Snape. When Cho saw Snape too she finally stopped hitting Harry. Then before Snape could say anything to her, she left. However, Harry didn't do or say anything. He was still standing there, again looking at the floor.

"Mr. Potter, are you all right?" asked Snape when Cho left.

"No, but I deserved that" anwsered Harry.

"I think she overreacted" said Snape with his monotone voice.

"She is right, I am a horrible person" said Harry.

"You are not a horrible person, Harry" said Snape, with a softer voice this time. When Snape called Harry by his name, he looked at his professor. It was still weird to Harry.

"Why are you avoiding me again, Harry?" asked Snape.

Harry quickly looked away. There's no way that Harry could tell his professor what was actually happening to him. But Harry couldn't lie anymore. He was so tired. He didn't have an anwser for his professor, so he just shruged with his shoulders.

"Did I do something wrong again?" asked Snape.

Harry quickly shook his head.

"Then, what's wrong? Why do you keep avoiding me all the time?"

Harry gave no verbal anwser. He could feel how his heart started to become heavier by a second. And his lungs were again without air.

"Harry, look at me" said Snape to Harry and then held Harry's chin and lifted his head, so that Harry was now looking at Snape. When Snape did that, Harry's body became hot again and he remembered the dreams he has been having this ast month.

Harry quickly removed Snape's hand from his chin. "Don't touch me" said Harry.

Snape was surprised by Harry's reaction. He quickly stepped a few steps away from Harry. Harry then felt bad, he didn't want to push his teacher away. He wanted to tell Snape how he felt, but he was just too weak to do that.

"I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to-"

Snape wanted to know what was bothering the boy. He couldn't stand it anymore. It hurt him when Harry avoided him and Snape was afraid that he had done something wrong. But he just couldn't remembered what could he do wrong. Was it maybe the way he reacted that day when Harry told him that he had a date with Cho? But before Sape could say anything, Harry already started walking away from him.

"We need to talk. I think I know what's wrong" quickly said Snape.

"There's nothing we have to talk about. And I have already told you that nothing's wrong"

"You are lying again to me, Harry. Why do you always push people away when they try to help you?" asked Snape and started walking at the same direction as Harry.

"I'm not pushing anybody away" said Harry, still walking away from Snape.

"You are pushing me away!" said Snape with a louder voice this time.

Harry wasn't able to say anything else. He still didn't know why was his professor telling him things like this. He was almost 100% sure that Snape was making fun of him, because he had never care for Harry before, so why would he start caring now? And it hurt Harry when he thought about that. He couldn't stand it. He wanted that Snape would really care about him.

"Stop making fun of me!" shouted Harry.

Harry's reaction made Snape speechless. So the boy thought that he was making fun of him?! Snape only shook his head.

"I'm not making fun of you" quietly said Snape and stepped closer to Hary.

"Don't come close to me" said Harry and then left.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo**

Harry didn't know what to do anymore. He was acting so strange and it was all Snape's fault. Harry just couldn't get him out of his head. Harry was constanly thinking about Snape. Harry was slowly realizing that he had really fallen for Snape.

Harry was sitting in the Gryffondor common room. It was completely empty, just as Harry liked it. But after a few minutes, Hermione came into the common room.

"Harry, there you are. Where have you been? Ron and I have been looking everywhere for you" said Hermione and sat next to him.

Harry didn't say anything, he just kept looking at the floor.

"Harry, what's wrong?" asked Hermione when Harry didn't say anything.

"I broke up with Cho today" said Harry slowly.

That didn't shock Hermione. She knew that Harry wasn't happy with her. "I knew that you would break up with her. But may I ask why did you break up with her?"

Harry stopped a bit before he countinued. He didn't know if he should tell Hermione or not. But at the end, he decided to tell her, because he was so sick of all this lying and pretending to be all right.

"Because I like somebody else" carefully responded Harry.

Harry thought that his best friend would be angry, but Hermione didn't say anything. She was always so understanding.

"Who do you like, Harry?" asked Hermione happily.

Harry didn't anwser her. He wanted to tell Hermione about his feelings for Snape, but he was afraid how would Hermione react. When Hermione saw Harry's reaction, she immediately became worried.

"Who do you like, Harry?" asked Hermione again, but because Harry wasn't saying anything, Hermione thought that Harry liked her. "Do you like me?" carefully asked Hermione.

Harry quickly looked at Hermione and responded "No. You are my best friend"

Hermione smiled and relaxed a bit. "Then who is it Harry? Ginny?" Hermione tried again.

Harry shook his head. How could he tell Hermione that he doesn't like a girl?

"You've got it all wrong..." started Harry.

"What do you mean?" was confused Hermione.

Harry took a deep breath, before he countinued. "You know... About the one who I like. I don't like a gi-" said Harry, but then he stopped himself.

Hermione then finally realized what Harry meant. So that was bothering Harry so much. Hermione smiled.

"You like a boy, so what?" happily said Hermione.

Harry was a little happier when he saw how Hermione reacted. He was happy that she wasn't judging him.

"So, who do you like?" asked Hermione again.

Harry couldn't tell Hermione who he really liked. He was too scared. He knew that Hermione would think that he was crazy.

"Okay, it's fine if you don't want to tell me. At least tell me in which house he is."

"In Slytherin... kind of" anwsered Harry and his heart started beating faster.

Hermione's eyes opened wide and she covered her mouth with her hands. She was surprised with Harry's anwser.

"Draco? Do you like Draco?"

"Malfoy? Of course not"

"Then who? Look, you can tell me. I promise I won't judge you".

Harry took another deep breath as he was thinking what he should do. Then he finally decided that he would tell Hermione the truth.

"It's Snape... I think I like Snape"


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello there :) Thank you for all your lovely reviews :) It really means a lot and I am really happy that you like my story :)**

**I hope you'll enjoy this chapter too :P**

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Two minutes have passed since Harry told Hermione that he liked Snape and his best friend didn't say anything. Hermione was just sitting silent. It looked like she was thinking about something and Harry was afraid that Hermione was thinking that he was a freak. He was afraid that she would be disgusted by what he just told her.

"Say something" said Harry. He just couldn't deal with all that silence that fell between him and Hermione.

Hermione finally looked at Harry. Harry was looking for any signs of disgust or disappointment in Hermione's eyes, but he didn't find any. Hermione didn't judge him. After a few more moments Hermione finally smiled.

"So this is why you've been acting so strange, especially around Snape. I knew that something was going on between the two of you, but I have never thought that... well that you would actually like Snape" said Hermione.

"So, you're not angry with me.. you don't hate me?" asked Harry again. His heart was racing, however his heart felt easier. It felt really nice that Hermione wasn't judging him.

"Of course not Harry! You are my best friend, I could never hate you. So you like Snape, big deal" said Hermione and smiled.

Harry felt so happy at that moment. He smiled too. He was so happy that he felt hot tears gathering in his eyes. This time, he didn't fight back. He let them out. He was so happy at that moment that he didn't care about that.

"Why are you crying?" quickly asked Hermione, with a worried voice.

"I'm just so happy" said Harry and hugged Hermione. Hermione smiled too and them she kissed his cheek. Harry chuckled

"Thank you" whispered Harry.

At that moment when Hermione kissed Harry's cheek, Ron stepped inside the Gryffondor's common room. When he saw that Hermione kissed Harry, Ron immediately became jealous and angry with Harry. Ron really liked Hermione, but he was just too embaressed to tell her how he really felt.

"What are you doing?" asked angry Ron.

"Nothing... we were just talking" said Harry quickly and he knew that Ron was jealous. Harry knew that Ron liked Hermione.

"Oh really?! Because that sure didn't look like talking" said Ron stubbornly.

"What's wrong, Ron?" asked Hermione.

Ron didn't anwser Hermione's question.

"Why did you broke up with Cho?" asked Ron.

"I like somebody else" said Harry.

"Who?!"

Harry wanted to tell his best friend who he liked, but because Harry was becoming really angry too, he didn't tell Ron anything.

"It's none of your bussiness" snapped Harry.

That made Ron even angrier. His face became red and he was really close to shouting at Harry.

"It's Hermione right?! You like Hermione!" said Ron with a louder voice.

Hermione didn't say anything. At first she wanted to tell Ron what was really happening, but the she changed her mind. She decided that only Harry should tell Ron who he really liked.

"That's not true" defended Harry himself.

"Of course it is! I saw the two of you kissing just now".

Harry was really angry by now and he knew that he needed to go as far from Ron as he could if he didn't want to lose his best friend. Harry got onto his legs and started angrily walking towards the exit.

"Where are you going?" asked Hermione.

"Out!" yelled Harry.

"You stay here! We need to talk" said Ron.

"What do we have to talk about. There's nothing to talk about. I've already told you that I don't like Hermione. You are just too jealous to listen to me" said Harry.

"Jealous?" asked Ron and he blushed.

"You know what I mean. You like Hermione, everybody on Hogwarts know this"

"WHAT?!" snapped Ron.

Before Hermione could say anything, Harry had already left the common room.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Harry was really angry with Ron. Harry needed to calm himself down, so he decided to go out for a walk. Even though it was the middle of Decembre and it was really cold, Harry didn't care. Harry quickly dressed and hurried outside

It felt amazing as the cold air welcomed his face. Harry stepped outside and he started walking. After a few moments he finally calmed himself down. The beautiful scenary around Hogwarts calmed him down.

The Hogswarts and it's grounds were covered with snow and it looked really beautiful. It really looked like a scene from a fairy tale. Harry smiled as it started snowing. He really loved the snow, because all the white colour always calmed him down and it made him feel happy.

Harry let out s silent sight. He knew that Ron will probably calm himself down soon and that they will be soon again talking to each other. Harry wished that Ron would already told Hermione how he felt about her. Harry knew that Hermione liked Ron too. If they really did start dating, they would make a pretty cute couple.

However, Harry could understand how Ron felt. Harry knew how it felt when you wanted to confess your feelings to somebody, but you were just too afraid to do that. Harry felt exactly the same when it came to Snape. Harry quickly shook his head. He didn't want to think about Snape again. He would only feel the sadness.

The snow started falling a bit quicker and Harry smiled. He opened his mouth, stuck his tongue out and started catching the snowflakes with his tongue. Harry used to do that as a child. Harry quickly realized how childish that was, so he started laughing at himself.

"The Hogswarts really does look beautiful in the snow, doesn't it?" said a voice behind Harry.

Harry almost jumped. He thought that he was completely alone, but he was mistaken. Harry knew that behind him was standing Snape. Why was Snape always doing that? It really did start to bother Harry.

Harry turned around and nodded.

"It's nice to see you smiling and laughing. It's been a while since you smiled" said Snape and stepped closer to Harry.

As Snape said that, the smile quickly disappeared from Harry's face. Harry didn't know what to do anymore. He couldn't even look at his professor. He didn't want to remember his dreams and he also didn't want to remember his feelings that he had for Snape.

When Snape saw that Harry was looking at the floor and not saying anything, he could feel that his heart was getting heavier. Why wasn't the boy talking to him?! Snape was so confused at that time that he didn't know what to do. He thought that Harry was angry with him, because of that day that he gave him that detention. Snape thought that Harry was angry, because Harry couldn't go on the date with Cho that day.

"Are you angry with me, because you missed your date with Cho that day when I gave you detention?" asked Snape.

Harry quickly looked up. "No, I'm not angry with you, sir." Harry's heart started beating a bit faster.

"Then why are you avoiding me?" asked Snape.

"I...I can't tell you that, professor" said Harry. Harry's heart was hurting, because he couldn't tell Snape how he felt.

"I see" said Snape and Harry could hear that his professor's voice was shaking a bit. "Then, can I just ask you to stop avoiding me?" countinued Snape.

"I don't know..." murmured Harry.

"Please"

"Why?" asked Harry.

Snape at first didn't say anything, but then after a few moments of silence, he started talking. "Because it hurts when you avoid me" said Snape. His voice was shaking now hard.

As Snape said that, Harry's heart beat went out of control. Harry couldn't believe what was his professor saying. So the professor actually did care for him and he wasn't making fun of Harry?!

"Let me tell you why I really gave you detention the other day..." said Snape and stopped a bit. "I knew that you had a date with Mrs Chang, I over heard her talking with her friends. And I didn't want you to go... because I was jealous."

Harry was surprised that his heart was still functioning, because it was beating so fast and he almost forgot how to breath. Even though it was really cold outside, Harry couldn't feel the cold. His body was feeling almost too hot for Harry to handle.

"J-Jealous?"asked Harry, because that was all that he could say at that moment.

"Yes, jealous. I was jealous of Cho, Harry..." slowly said Snape.

"S-So that means that..."

"I like you" finally said Snape. "At first I didn't know what was happening. But then after you started dating Cho..."

"Y-You like me?" asked Harry. All that he could do was repeating Snape's words, because his brain stopped working minutes ago. Harry was almost 100% that he was dreaming again. But Harry didn't care if this was reality or not. Snape just confessed to him that he liked him and that made Harry happy. He never thought that Snape would like him back.

Snape nodded and said: "Look, I'm not expecting that you like me too. But I just needed to tell you that, because it was killing me. Now I finally feel better."

"Really?" asked Harry, who knew that his professor was lying to him.

"Well, at least a bit. I mean, I know that we can't be together. You are only 15 and I'm 35 already. Plus I'm your teacher and you are my student."

Snape's words broke Harry's heart. They can't be together?! Harry's happiness soon faded away. Harry couldn't understand why they couldn't be together. It was true that Snape was a lot older than him, but he still whished that Snape wouldn't have said that.

"W-We can't?" asked Harry and looked at the floor. Snape knew that Harry was crying. However, Snape couldn't understand why. Did the boy had feelings for his as well?

"Why are you crying, Harry?"

Harry didn't say anything and before Snape could say anything else, Harry wrapped his thin arms around Snape's waist. Harry hugged Snape. Snape's body froze, he didn't know what to do. He wanted to return Harry the hug, but he was too scared to do that. He was afraid that he might scare Harry.

When Harry realized that Snape wouldn't return him the hug, he was really dissapointed. He wanted that Snape would touch him. Usually Harry didn't want Snape touching him, but now he was begging Snape to touch him. Harry had enough. He didn't have any more power to avoid and lie to his professor, so he decided to tell his professor how he felt.

"I have feelings for you too" started Harry, who was avoiding eye contact with Snape. When those words left Harry's mouth, Harry heart stopped beating for second. He waiting for Snape to say something.

Harry's words completely shocked Snape. He had no idea tha the boy liked him back. Of course Snape felt happy, but he knew that there was no way that they could be together. It didn't bother Snape that Harry was the same sex as him, but the age difference was just too big. Plus Snape was Harry's teacher and if somebody found out, they could fire Snape.

"Are you sure?" asked Snape, wanted to make sure.

Harry nodded and blushed furiously. "This past month... all that I could think about was you. That's why I started avoding you. I wanted to forget, so I started dating Cho. But I just couldn't stop thinking about you. And then I even had dreams..." but before Harry countinued, he stopped himself. He couldn't believe that he almost told about the dreams he had been having. Harry's face was really red.

Snape chuckled. The boy really was cute.

"What were those dreams about, Harry?" asked Snape, who was now teasing the boy.

Harry blushed even harder. Should he tell Snape?

"A-About me... and you..." slowly said Harry.

"Oh really? And what were we doing?" said Snape, who's smile was really wide by now. He knew that he should feel bad about making Harry so embaressed, but Snape enjoyed seeing Harry so embaressed. When Harry was embaressed he was really cute.

"Well... y-you know" said Harry and hid his face into his palms. He was too embaressed to show his professor his face.

Snape started laughing. Harry's reaction was priceless.

"Don't laugh, it's not funny" said Harry quietly.

"I'm sorry, but I just couldn't help it. You are so cute" said Snape and ran his fingers through Harry's hair.

When Snape said that, Harry quickly looked up. He saw that Snape was smiling. It was really weird for Harry to see his teacher smiling. On the other hand, Harry felt happy when he saw Snape's smile.

"But let's get serious..." said Snape. As soon as Snape said those words, Harry's heart fell. "We need to be realistic, Harry."

"W-Why can't we be together?" asked Harry again and knew the anwser.

"Look... I am way too old for you. And you are only 15 years old. Maybe you don't really like me. I mean... maybe you are jst confused or-"

"I'm not confused. I've been asking this myself for the whole month. I am not confused. I really do like you" said Harry, hoping that his professor would change his mind.

"And I'm your teacher. If somebody finds out then-" said Snape, but was interrupted by Harry once again.

"Then we won't tell anybody"

Snape let out a loud sigh. He just couldn't make Harry understand why they couldn't be together. Harry really was stubborn, just like his mother.

"It's just too wrong. I'm afraid that I'll hurt you. Every relationship that I had been in... it always ended up with me hurting someone"

"You won't hurt me"

"Harry, please listen to me. You need to understand that if somebody would find out that-"

"Stop thinking about others. Tell me what you want!" said Harry.

Snape shook his head. He knew that he couldn't change the boy's mind. What did he want? He wanted to love and to be loved back. Snape almost forgot how it felt. Since Lily died, he locked his heart away. He didn't want to get hurt anymore and he never loved anybody. Until now.

"What I want? I want you, Harry" was honest Snape. He really did wish to be with Harry, but he was afraid.

Harry smiled. Snape returned Harry a smile. He didn't know if he should for once in his life stop controlling everything and enjoy the moment. He felt happy when he was with Harry and he didn't want that this happiness to end. After a few moments of thinking he finally decided to go with the flow and not to think about anything else.

Snape stepped closer to Harry and wrapped his arms around Harry's small body and pulled him close to himself. It felt so good when their bodies touched. Harry's cold body started heathing up in Snape's hug. Harry was happy after a long time. He didn't have to lie to Snape anymore. Harry then returned the hug and pulled Snape even closer to him. He loved being so close to Snape. Harry closed his eyes.

When Harry closed his eyes, Snape chuckled. He still couldn't believe that the boy liked him back. Snape then pressed his warm lips against Harry's cold forehead.

"You really are cute, Harry" whispered Snape.


	10. Chapter 10

**A new chapter :) I hope you'll like it **

**enjoy ~~**

**oooooooooooooooo**

**One day later**

It was Monday and Harry was chatting with Hermione in The Great Hall. Yesterday Harry told Snape how he felt and he was very happy that Snape liked him too. After their hug, Snape walked Harry into the castle, but then he soon left, because he told Harry that he needed to go somewhere. Harry was very disappointed by that. He wanted to spend more time with his professor.

Harry looked at the teacher's table. Unfortunally, Snape hasn't come yet. Harry wanted to see Snape so badly. And what were they now, him and Snape? Were they dating? Harry didn't know how to anwser this question, because he still wasn't 100% sure if Snape actually wanted to start a relationship or not.

When Hermione saw that Harry wasn't listening to her anymore, she became worried. Harry didn't tell her that he confessed to Snape, because he knew that Snape wouldn't approve that.

"Harry, are you even listening to me?" asked Hermione.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. I was just thinking" anwsered Harry.

"About Snape?" asked Hermione with a very quiet voice.

Harry nodded.

"I know how it feels if you really like somebody, but you are afraid to tell them..." said Hermione.

Harry looked at her. His best friend looked really sad and Harry knew what she meant. Harry knew how much she liked Ron Weasley.

"You like Ron, don't you?" asked Harry.

Hermione laughed sarcastically. "It's that obvious isn't it?"

"You know, he likes you too"

"Then why doesn't he say something?" asked Hermione.

"Maybe he is afraid also" said Harry.

Hermione sighed. "Ugh, being in love is so complicated" said Hermione and both of them started laughing. Harry had to agree with his best friend. However, Hermione and Harry soon finished lauhging, because Ron sat between them. Harry could see that his friend was really angry. Because Harry didn't want to fight anymore, he decided to tell Ron everything.

"Hey, Ron... I want to apologize for yesterday that I reacted that way..." started Harry.

Ron looked Harry. Harry could see that Ron was still being stubborn and that talking to Ron at this state wouldn't change a thing.

"What were you talking about before I came here? You were arranging the date, right?"

Harry gritted his teeth, because he didn't want start shouting again. "Listen Ron... How many times do I have to tell you there's nothing between me and Hermione."

"Look, Harry you don't have to lie to me. I'm not blind you know" said a bit louder Ron this time.

"Ron, Harry's talking the truth" quietly said Hermione, but Ron shut her mouth.

"Be quiet, Hermione. This is between me and Harry and it has nothing to do with you" angrily said Ron.

"Ron! Stop it, this is stupid!" raised his voice Harry a little.

"No it isn't. If you start dating, you will soon forget about me and then-"

"Oh, god Ron. How stupid can you be? You are too jealous to see what's really happening" said Harry, because he knew how Ron could get when he was jealous.

"Then who od Earth do you like, Harry?! Because there's nobody else that you could possibly like" said Ron.

Harry wanted to say something, but he stopped himself. He could easily tell Hermione how he felt, but he wasn't sure if Ron would be as supportive as Hermione was. Harry knew that Ron could be a real asshole sometimes, even if he didn't mean to be. So because of that he didn't say anything.

"Who is it then, Harry?! Are the two of you really making fun out of me?!" said Ron and got onto his legs.

"Just forget it, Ron" murmured Harry and looked around the Great Hall. Because they were fighing so loud, a lot of students started gathering around them, because they were curious why were the two best friends arguing.

Harry then looked at the floor. He was again feeling helpless and too scared to do anything. He didn't want to lose his best friend, but he wasn't ready to tell Ron what was really happening. Harry knew that Hermione would never tell Ron and Harry was really thankful to have a friend like Hermione was.

"You don't like my sister, do you?" asked Ron carefully.

Harry just shook his head, but he didn't say anything. Ron of course understood Harry wrong, because he thought that Harry was lying to him.

"Don't lie to me. But you can't date Ginny. She's my sister and I'm your best friend!" shouted Ron and his face was really red by now.

"Are you really my best friend?!" shouted Harry back and got onto his legs. He was really angry at that moment and he couldn't cotrol his actions anymore. He was afraid that he would say something that he would regret later. "If you were really my best friend, you wouldn't be acting like a complete jerk like you are acting now! I talked with Hermione, because I really needed to talk to someone. How can you not get the fact that we aren't dating!"

Ron didn't say anything else. Harry's breathing was fast and his whole body was shaking really hard. He has never shouted at Ron like that, but at that moment he really couldn't feel anything else but the anger. And he decided to go away from Ron, because he knew that if he would stay next to him, he would start shouting at Ron again.

When Ron saw that Harry was going away, he started going after Harry.

"Where do you think you're going?" asked Ron.

"Away from you" said Harry, not looking at Ron.

"But-"

"Shut up, Ron. It would be better if we don't talk to each other for some time" said Harry and stormed out of the Great Hall.

He was walking really fast and he didn't even know where he was going. He just needed to calm down and be alone, because he knew that he would start yelling at anybody, who would start asking him questions. He was that angry. Harry couldn't understand how could Ron not believe him?! Ron probably knew that Harry knew how he felt about Hermione. And because they were best friends, Ron should know better.

Because Harry was thinking, he wasn't really watching were he was going and he soon bumped into someone, who was carrying a lot of paper. Harry landed onto the hard floor and the paper scathered everywhere. Harry rolled his eyes, this really wasn't what he needed at the moment like this.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault, I didn't watch where I was going" said Harry and started picking the paper up.

"Don't worry about it" said a deep voice. Harry jumped and quickly looked up. He saw that the person who he bumped into was no other that his Potions' teacher, Severus Snape.

Harry quickly picked all the paper up and handed it to Snape. Harry was happy to see his professor, he wanted to see him so badly. Harry's anger quickly disappeared.

"What's wrong, Harry? I've heard that you and Mr. Weasley had a fight before" asked Snape.

"Oh, it's nothing" said Harry, because he didn't want to trouble Snape.

"Really? You looked really angry" said Snape.

Harry quickly nodded. "It was just a stupid fight, nothing more"

Snape smiled a little and than he ran his fingers through Harry's hair. Harry blushed and he could feel how the adrenaline started spreading through his body. Harry felt like his body was flying. He couldn't believe that just Snape's touch could make him feel that way.

"Where were you going?" was curious Snape.

Harry shruged his shoulder. "I don't know. I just needed to get away from Ron"

"Have you finished your lessons for today?" asked Snape.

Harry nodded.

"Then would you want to spend some time with me?"

When those last words came from Snape's mouth, Harry's body started feeling hot again. Spend some time with Snape? Of course Harry would want that, but he was also very nervous.

"Y-Yes" said slowly Harry.

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Snape took Harry into his Private rooms.

"Please, take a sit" said Snape and then closed the door. That made Harry even more nervous. This wasn't the first time that the's been alone with Snape. But being alone with Snape in his private rooms was something completely different to Harry.

Harry sat down and waited for Snape to come. Snape has gone somewhere, but quickly returned with two glasses.

"Would you like something to drink, Harry?"

"N-No, I'm okay" quickly siad Harry.

Snape chuckled when he saw how embaressed and nervous Harry was.

"Am I making you too nervous? We can go somewhere else, if you want to" said Severus.

Harry shook his head. He wanted to be with Snape and he didn't want to admit to his professor how nervous was he actually feeling, because he was afraid that Snape would tell him to leave.

"Okay, then" said Snape and then sat down, next to Harry. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yes" anwsered Harry, who was trying to hide how fast his heart was beating.

"What made you like me?"

Harry was silent... yeah, why did he like Snape? Harry didn't know how to anwser this question. He liked Snape, because Snape was really kind. Harry liked everything about Snape, but he didn't know how to express his feelings. He liked everything about Snape, so was that the anwser to Snape's question.

"I-I don't know" said Harry and his voice was shaking. "I mean... I like everything about you"

Harry felt so embaressed saying all those things. It felt so cheesy to him.

Snape chuckled. "Everything?"

Harry nodded and closed his eyes.

"You are so cute, Harry" said Snape and got closer to Harry. Snape then lightly touched Harry's cheek with his hand. As Snape touched Harry, Harry jumped. That really surprised him.

"Oh, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." said Snape, who was feeling horrible. He had to remember that Harry was only 15.

"N-No... you can touch me again" said Harry, who liked the touch.

"Are you sure?" asked Snape.

Harry nodded and wished that he could somehow slow his heart down. He would be even more embaressed if Snape found out how nervous he actually was.

"If you don't want to, that's all right. You don't have to force yourself into something that you don't want. I don't want that you would feel uncomfortable around me" said Snape.

"It's all right"

Snape smiled and placed his finger on Harry's cheek. Harry could feel how Snape's finger started gently traveling up and down his cheek. The volume of Harry's lungs started shrinking and Harry's breathing got faster. He never felt like this before. Even when he had dreams about Snape... this was the first time that Harry felt that way.

"Open your eyes" whispered Snape.

Harry quickly shook his head.

"Please"

Harry finally gave in and opened his eyes. He looked at Snape and Snape wasn't showing any kind of nervousness.

Snape placed his left hand onto Harry's chest. At that moment Harry knew that Snape found out how fast Harry's heart was beating. He was really embaressed, so he quickly hid his face into his palms.

Snape took Harry's left hand and placed it onto his own chest. When Harry felt how fast Snape's heart was beating, he relaxed. So Snape was also feeling nervous?

"See? It's okay to be nervous" quietly said Snape.

Harry was really happy at that moment. Everything seemed so perfect to him. Harry didn't even feel how the hot tears started gathering in his eyes and started rolling down his face. However, when Snape saw them, he quickly removed his hands from Harry. Did he do something wrong? Did he make the boy cry?

"Did I do something wrong?"

Harry quickly shook his head and said: "I'm just happy, that's all"

Snape smiled and then whipped Harry's tears away.

"Don't scare me like that. I was afraid that I did something wrong" said Snape and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist. He pulled Harry close to him. Harry didn't know what to do with his own arms, so he placed them onto Snape's chest. Harry enjoyed how close he was to his professor. He could hear Snape's calm breathing. Harry closed his eyes and smiled.

"I want to be together with you all the time" whispered Snape into Harry's ear. That sent shivers down Harry's spine. He wanted to be with Snape as well. Harry also wanted to know if him and Snape were now in a relationship or not.

"S-Sir" quietly said Harry.

"Yes, Harry?" responded Snape.

"I want to ask you something" said Harry and pulled back a little, so that he was looking Snape right into his eyes. "What are we now?"

"What do you want us to be?" asked Snape and smirked a bit.

Harry looked down. He was to embaressed to say the word that he wanted.

"A-Are we in a relationship now?" asked Harry and hid his face into Snape's chest. Snape started laughing as Harry said that.

"We can start a relationship if you want that too. We will take things slowly and we will see where the future will take us." simply said Snape.

Harry smiled and nodded. He was glad that his professor said that. Harry was a bit surprised, because just yesterday Snape said that they couldn't be together. But Harry was so glad that Snape changed his mind.

Snape then quickly pressed his lips onto Harry's forehead. Harry's became hot again and he felt dizzy, yet amazing when he felt Snape warm lips against his skin.

Harry then looked at the clock and he realized that he was with Snape for quiet a lot of time. He became worried that maybe Hermione would be looking for him, so he didn't know what to do. His heart was telling him to stay with Snape, but his brain was screaming that he should go.

"M-Maybe it's time for me to leave" said Harry slowly and got up.

"Why?" asked Severus.

"It's just... I've been her for quite a lot of time and Hermione is probably looking for me and-"

"Then you'll tell her that I gave you detention"

"But-"

"Please don't go yet" said Snape.

"W-Well... I guess I could stay for a few more minutes" said Harry and sat next to Snape again.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello everyone and thanks for all your lovely reviews. They really mean a lot to me :P**

**(and I know i haven't updated in a while... i was just... lazy :D )**

**Enjoy :D**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo**

**1 week later**

"Hermione, can I ask you something?" asked Harry. Hermione was sitting in Gryffondor's common room and reading a book about Charms.

"What is it, Harry?" replied Hermione and looked at Harry. Hermione noticed that Harry finally stopped being depressed. She was very happy that Harry finally started smiling again, and that could mean only one thing. Harry still hasn't told that he and Snape were together, but Hermione already knew that. That could be the only reason for Harry's good mood.

"Well, Christmas is going to be soon" started Harry, but then stopped himself. He wanted to buy a present for Snape, but he was too embaressed to ask Hermione for a help.

"Yes, I am aware of that Harry" said Hermione and smiled. When she saw how embaressed Harry was, she knew what he was trying to ask her.

"R-Right... so because it's going to be Christmas soon, I would like to buy someone a present, but I don't know what to buy, so I thought that you could maybe help me" quickly said Harry and hoped that Hermione didn't figure out for who he was going to buy a present.

Hermione's smile got wider. "Why do you need my help?" asked Hermione, who was pretending not to know anything.

"Well... you had someone you liked, you know Victor Krum, so I thought that..."

"Oh, so you're buying this present for Snape" said Hermione quietly and started laughing when she saw how red Harry's face was.

"How do you know?!" asked Harry.

"Well, it's obvious, because you are happier" said Hermione with a smile on her face.

Harry sighed. Was he really that easy to figure out? He was a bit embaressed that Hermione figured out. On the onther hand, he was happy, because he didn't want to lie to Hermione and he was happy that she didn't judge him. He was happy when he saw that his best friend was smiling.

"So you really don't mind this?" asked Harry.

"I mean it is a bit weird that you like Snape, because you never liked each other. And what is even weirder is that he likes you back. But as long as you are happy I don't mind that you are dating Snape."

Harry smiled and his heart felt lighter. "Thank you" said Harry and hugged Hermione.

"S-So will you help me with the present?"

"Of course" said Hermione and smiled.

"Thanks" said Harry and sat down next to Hermione.

"So, Harry... how does it feel to be in relationship with Snape?" asked Hermione.

Harry's face became really red. "Well... you know. He makes me happy"

Hermione was happy to hear that. She really wanted Harry to be happy, because she knew that Harry was through a lot in his life and he finally deserved some happiness. However, she still couldn't picture Harry and Snape together.

"How far have the two of you gone?" asked Hermione and plaifully smiled.

"What do you mean?" asked Harry, puzzled.

Hermione didn't say anything, but her smile grew wider and wider, and Harry finally understood what Hermione had in mind. Harry couldn't believe what Hermione was asking him. He could feel his body getting really hot.

"Hermione!" said Harry and tried to hide his embaressment.

Hermione started laughing. "Well, I'm just curious, that's all"

"W-Well, we hugged a couple of times, but that's all"

"You haven't kissed yet?" Hermione sounded surprised.

"No!" Harry said a bit louder, because he didn't want to talk about that with his best friend. It just didn't feel right to discuss this things with Hermione. Harry didn't know why, maybe because she was a girl.

When Hermione saw Harry's reaction, she started laughing even louder.

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

The next day Gryffondor had double period of Potions with Slytherin. Normally, Harry would constanly tried to make eye contact with Snape, but this time he completely ignored Snape, because he was too busy discusing about the present he was going to buy with Hermione.

At first it didn't bother Snape, but after 30 minutes of trying to make eye contact with Harry, Snape was completely confused. He didn't know why the boy wouldn't look at him. Did he do something wrong?! Snape started thinking about that, but he couldn't remember what could he do wrong. And what was bothering Snape even more was the fact that Harry was constantly chatting with Mrs. Granger. Snape knew that he was starting to feel jealous.

Snape noticed how Harry started spending more and more time with Hermione the last week and it was starting to bother him. They haven't been together for a whole week and Snape was starting to question himself that he has done something wrong. Everytime when Snape asked Harry to spend some time with him, Harry refused. He always made an excuse and Snape knew that the boy was lying to him again. So, because of that Snape thought that Harry's feelings have changed. Maybe he was too pushy the last time they were together?

"Potter, Granger, stop talking. We are in the middle of the lesson! Five points from Gryffondor" said Snape with cold voice when he had enough.

Harry quickly lifted up his head and looked his professor. Harry could see that his professor was really angry. Harry tried to figure out what could make his professor that angry. Harry sent his professor a questioning look, but Snape quickly looked away. From that moment on, Snape was the one who was ignoring Harry.

When the lessons ended, Snape said: "Potter, wait here"

Harry was really surprised. He didn't know what to say. Hermione stepped closer to Harry.

"What was this all about?" asked Hermione, who was also surprised.

"I have no idea" quietly anwsered Harry.

When Snape saw that Hermione was still chatting with Harry, he immediately got closer to both of them and said: "Mrs. Granger, are you Mr Potter too?"

"N-No, sir" said Hermione and looked at the floor.

"I thought so too. So, may I ask you what are you still doing here?" asked Snape with cold voice.

"I'm sorry, I will go" quickly said Hermione and left the classroom.

When Hermione left the classroom, Harry didn't know what to do. He was happy that he was finally alone with Snape, because it had been a really long time since they've been together. On the other hand, he was really confused by the way that Snape was acting. Harry knew that his professor was angry, but Harry didn't know why.

"What is wrong, professor?" asked Harry.

"Nothing, Potter" anwsered Snape, but he was not looking at Harry. Snape couldn't bring himself to look at Harry, because he knew that he would do something stupid. The jealousy made him do stupid things. Snape knew that it was stupid that he was feeling jealous over a 15 years old girl, but he has lost so much in the past. And he couldn't lose Harry.

Harry's eyes were wide opened. Snape called him Potter. What was going on? Did Snape hate him again? Did he do something to make Snape hate him again? Harry was so confused and he really wanted to know what was going on.

"P-Professor?" asked Harry and touched Snape's hand.

Snape finally turned around and Harry's heart started beating faster.

"Are you avoiding me again?" asked Snape.

"Of course not" quickly responded Harry.

"Then why... why do you spend more time with Mrs. Granger than you do with me?" asked Snape. He knew that it sounded really stupid, but he needed to know.

Harry couldn't believe that Snape was jealous again. Harry smiled, because he thought it was kind of cute to see that Snape really cared so much about him.

"I had a fight with Ron, remember? So we are still not speaking and Hermione is not speaking with him, so we spend more time together. That's all"

"I know that, Mr. Potter. But you also started making excuses every time I want to spend some time with you. What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing" replied Harry and quickly looked at the floor. Harry really did start to avoid Snape, but not because he liked Hermione or anything like this. He was just too embaressed that he might do something stupid. He would always get so shy around Snape and he would always say such embaressing words.

Harry really liked the last he spend time with Snape. However, he was afraid of screwing up things. Snape was so much experienced when it came to this area and Harry knew that Snape would soon want to do more with Harry than just hugging and Harry was afraid of that. He really wanted to go further with Snape, but he just didn't know how to tell him that.

"Really?" asked Snape and stepped closer to Harry.

"Y-Yes" replied Harry.

Snap stepped even closer and Harry was able to feel Snape's hot breath on his right cheek. Harry's breathing became fast as he was trying to get more air into his lungs. Harry felt how Snape put his left arm onto his cheek and started caressing it. Harry closed his eyes and let out a loud sigh. It felt really good when he was so close to Snape. On the other hand, he was very embaressed.

"Harry, look at me" whispered Snape with warm voice.

Harry shook his head. "Why?"

"Because I want you to look at me. I want that you only think of me when we are together. So please, open your eyes"

Harry finally opened his eyes and looked at Snape. Snape smiled and ran his fingers through Harry's hair. Harry blushed and as he wanted to hid his face into his palms, Snape grabbed his hands.

"You are being mean" said Harry.

"I know" said Snape and chuckled. "And I will countinue on being mean until you tell me what's really going on."

Harry took a deep breath as he tried to calm his heart down.

"I-I am afraid" whispered Harry.

"Of what?" asked Snape, puzzled.

"You know... when we are alone..." said Harry and blushed furiously.

"Harry, how many times do I have to tell you... I won't do anything that you wouldn't like. I promise" said Snape and kissed Harry's forehead.

Harry's body froze and he became dizzy. He couldn't understand how could only a kiss on forehead make him feel this way.

"I-It's not just that... I am afraid that I will screw something up. You are more experienced that I am"

"That doesn't mean anything, Harry."

"It does to me" anwsered Harry.

Snape smiled. It was nice to see that Harry cared that much, but on the other hand he didn't want the boy to worry about so meaningless things.

"I said that we'll take things slowly, didn't I?" said Snape.

Harry slowly nodded. Now he was starting to get embaressed even more. He couldn't believe that he said all those things to Snape. It seemed so cheesy to Harry saying all those things. However, he knew that when he was saying all those things that he made Snape happy. And Snape happiness was all that mattered to Harry at that moment.

"So, Harry. Christmas is going to be a day after tomorrow. Do you have any special things to do on Christmas eve?" asked Snape.

That took Harry off guard. What did Snape have in mind?

"No" said Harry and looked at Snape.

Snape smiled. Harry could feel that his heart started beating fast again and his body started shaking a bit. Harry knew what will Snape'snext question will be. Harry knew that Snape would ask him to spend the Christmas eve with him.

"Do you want to spend it with me?"

Harry didn't know how to react. Of course he was happy when Snape asked him that. But what did Snape have in mind? Will they go somewhere?! On a date? Harry took a deep breath before anwsering.

"Y-Yes, I would love to be with you on a Christmas eve. Will we go somewhere special?" asked Harry.

"Well, if you want to, we can go somewhere. But I had something a bit different in mind. I thought that I would cook us a dinner and well... We can spend the time here, on Hogswarts" said Snape and Harry noticed that his professor was nervous a bit.

Snape would cook a dinner? Harry was speachles. He didn't know that Snape could cook and even just imagining Snape cooking it seemed so unrealistic to Harry.

"It sounds great" said Harry, who tried not to sound too excited.

When Snape saw how happy Harry was, he smiled. Snape was happy that Harry said yes. Snape has always spent the Christmas alone since he and Lily had that big fight. Since then he was always lonely and had nobody to spend the time with him. But now, after all these years there was someone who was ready to spend the Christmas with him.

Snape wrapped his arms around Harry's thin waist. Then Snape kissed Harry's neck and whispered into Harry's left ear: "Thank you, Harry. You don't know how happy you just made me"

Harry let out a loud sigh, when Snape kissed his neck. Harry closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment. Snape chuckled at Harry's reaction. He was happy that he didn't scare the boy as he kissed Harry's neck.

After a few seconds, Snape pulled away. Harry was surprised as the heat of Snape's body suddenly disappeared. Harry had to admit to himself that he was somehow dissapointed as Snape pulled away.

"Harry, do you like flowers?" asked Snape.

Harry was surprised when Snape asked him that. Why was Snape asking him that?

"Yes, I like them" anwsered Harry.

"Which are your favourite ones?"

"Roses" slowly said Harry.

Snape smiled and then he kissed Harry's cheek. Harry's lungs failed working and his heart started beating like crazy. Harry wanted to ask his professor why he needed that information, but he decided not to ask any questions. Harry closed his eyes, as Snape pulled him into a tight hug.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello everyone :). I updated sooner this time, hehe :)**

**I hope you'll like this chapter ^^**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo**

**24th December**

Hermione and Harry went to Hogsmeade. Harry went to buy a Christmas present for Snape and Hermione went with him to help him with picking the right gift. After hours of thinking what to buy Snape, Harry finally dedcided that he would buy Snape a necklace and Hermione told Harry that she knew the right place for jewerely in Hogsmeade.

Hermione took Harry to a small shop. However, when they arrived to the shop, Harry wasn't too sure about Hermione's decision. The shop was pink and the shop's name was "Glitter everywhere". Harry was almost sure that Hermione made a mistake. There was no way that he could a gift for Snape in this shop.

"Are you sure about this, Hermione?" asked Harry and sent her a confused look.

Hermione smiled when she saw how confused Harry was. Hermione knew what was Harry thinking. However, they had some really beautiful things in this shop.

Hermione nodded and they stepped inside the shop. The shop was very small and... pink. The shop made Harry feel even more uncomfortable, because it was too small for Harry's taste. Harry didn't like small shops, because that way everyone could see what he was buying.

As soon as they stepped inside the shop an Asian girl approached them. She had long pink hair and she was dressed into a pink dress. Harry knew that this had to be the owner of this shop. Harry almost started laughing when he saw the girl. The girl obviously liked the color pink. However, Harry didn't know how annoying this girl could be.

"You are Harry Potter!" screamed pink haired girl. Her voice was unbelievably high. "I can't believe this. Harry Potter is standing in _my _shop".

Harry didn't know what to do, so he just awkwardly waved to the excited girl. Harry couldn't believe that Hermione brought him to this place.

"Hi Ryoko!" said Hermione and smiled.

Harry looked at his best friend surprised. Hermione actually knew this girl? This really surprised Harry, because he knew that Hermione usually hang out with more serious girls.

"Oh, hi Hermione" said Ryoko and waved to Hermione.

"So what are you doing in my shop?" asked Ryoko after a few more seconds.

"I... umm" started Harry, but then he stopped himself. He was too embaressed to tell that he was actually buying a gift for someone. He knew that Ryoko didn't know for who this gift would be, but he knew that. And it was really embaresssing.

"He wants to buy a Christmas present for a special someone" told Hermione and winked. Harry's body got hot and he knew that his face became really red. He quickly looked at the floor. That way he could avoid eye contact with both of the girls.

The girl smiled. "The Famous Harry Potter is buying a gift for his girlfriend. In my shop!" happily cheered Ryoko.

Harry had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He was really annoyed by now and he wanted to leave the shop as quickly as possible. He looked at Hermione confused. He still didn't know why on Earth would Hermione bring him to this shop. Harry knew that there had to be more jewelery shops in Hogsmeade.

"Can I ask you what you had on your mind, Harry?" asked Ryoko and smiled.

"A-A necklace..." said Harry and quickly closed his eyes, because he saw how big Ryoko's smile was. And Harry didn't like that.

"Awww, that is so _sweet_" said Ryoko and countinued "What kind of necklace? I mean would you like that it has something on it or...?"

"Well, the person who I' buying this gift is from Slytherin. So, I don't know. Something with snakes or something like this?"

Ryoko nodded and said "Okay, just wait a bit. I'll be back in a second" said Ryoko and went to look for necklaces.

When Ryoko left the room Harry looked at Hermione angrily.

"Why did you bring me to this shop?"

"Look, I know that Ryoko is a bit... strange, but she has beautiful things here. Trust me" explained Hermione.

Harry just shrugged his shoulders. He started to wonder if this was even a good idea. Would Snape even like his present? Did Snape even wear nacklaces? He probably didn't and Harry was almost 100% sure that Snape wouldn't like his present. Harry wanted everything to be perfect for their date and he didn't want to screw things up.

When Hermione saw how worried Harry was she quickly asked: "What's wrong?"

"What if he won't like my present?" asked Harry with a small voice.

Hermione smiled. "You worry too much, Harry. I am sure that he will love your present"

Harry didn't know how to respond so he just nervously smiled.

After a few more moments, Ryoko finally returned with boxes with necklaces in them. She opened them, so that Harry could see them. Harry stepped closer and started looking at necklaces. However, Harry didn't like any of them. Some of them were pink or they had glitter on them. Harry shook is head.

"You don't like them?" asked Ryoko and Harry could tell that she was sad.

"I'm sorry, Ryoko. I just need something more serious. You see, this person who I like is older than me and I would really like to impress this person"

"Oh"

"What about this one, Harry?" said Hermione, who was standing next to some necklaces, which were behind a glass. Harry stepped next to Hermione. The nacklace that Hermione found was perfect. The necklace was silver and on it, it was a small, but beautiful bird. Harry liked it a lot.

"It's beautiful" said Harry quietly and Ryoko stepped closer to them. She opened the glass and handed the necklace to Harry.

Harry said: "It's perfect, I'll take this one"

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oo**

**6 pm**

It was now 6 pm and Harry was getting ready for his date with Snape. He didn't know what to wear for his date. He didn't know if he should have a more formal wear or not. He opened his closet and started looking at his clothes. At that moment he didn't like any of them. He started asking himself why he didn't buy some clothes when he and Hermione went toHogsmeade.

He was really angry with himself. He threw himself on the bed and started thinking about his date with Snape. He was really nervous now. He even considered not going, but he knew that this would make Snape really sad. And he didn't want to upset his _boyfriend _on Christmas.

Boyfriend?! Snape was his boyfriend now, right?! Boyfriend... that word sounded so embaressing to Harry. He quickly shook his head. He didn't want to start thinking about things like these, because he knew that if he would he would never be able to face his professor tonight.

Harry quickly got up. Then he pulled a pair of jeans and a black sweater from his closet. He quickly got dressed and then he stepped in front of the mirror. Harry didn't like what he saw. He thought that the sweater was really ugly, but because he couldn't find anything else, he just loudly cursed and then he quickly left the bedroom.

When he came into the common room, Hermione was already waiting for him. When she saw how good Harry looked she couldn't believe it.

"Wow, Harry you look really nice" said Hermione and smiled.

"You think so?"

Hermione smiled and nodded. "He's going to have a heart-attack when he sees you"

Harry blushed and said: "Hermione!"

Hermione started laughing. "What?"

Harry didn't say anything. He just smiled awkwardly. He was happy. He really couldn't wait to spend some time with Snape. And he was happy that Hermione was so accepting.

"Here you go" said Hermione and took out a gift for Snape from her pocket. "I wrapped it up for you"

The gift was wrapped into a beautiful green paper. And on it it had a small silver bow. It looked absolutely stunning.

"Thank you" whispered Harry and hugged Hermione.

"It's okay. Now, go and enjoy your date" said Hermione.

Harry nodded, but he didn't move.

"What is it?"

"I'm nervous" whispered Harry.

"Don't be. It's going to be okay. I'm sure that he is awesome and the two of you are going to have a great time" said Hermione and patted Harry's right shoulder.

"_He _is awesome?_" _said a voice behind Harry and Hermione. They quickly turned and saw Ron.

Harry didn't know what to do. He started to panic. How long was Ron standing there? Did Ron know that Harry was going to see Snape? Harry wanted to calm down, but he couldn't control his body. His heart was racing and his palms started sweating.

"Y-Yes" started Hermione.

Harry's breathing got faster. He could feel the weakness in his legs. He didn't know what to do. He knew that Ron was still angry with him. And if Ron knew that they were talking about Snape he was afraid that he might tell someone.

"Who is he?" asked Ron and Harry could see that Ron was disgusted by the fact that Harry is dating a male.

"I-I... It doesn't really matter, does it?" said Harry and wanted to leave the room.

"It does to me. You can't like a guy, Harry. What are you thinking? That's disgusting!"

That words hurt Harry. Harry knew that a lot of people though the same. But Harry thought that Ron was his friend. Aren't friends suppose to love you no matter who you are? Gay or straight?

"And why is it disgusting?" asked Hermione angrily.

"Don't tell me that you agree with him, Hermione? It is just too unnatural. A guy is supposed to be with a girl. End of the discusion!"

"R-Ron we... we are friends, aren't we?" said Harry, but he didn't look at Ron. He was too scared and he was really angry with him.

"I'm not a friend with a _fag_"

Hermione stepped closer to Ron and slapped him.

"How dare you say this?!"

Hermione's face was completely red. Harry knew that she was probably really angry. That made Ron really angry. His ears were completely red and he almost started screaming at Hermione. At one poit he lifted his arm, he wanted to hit Hermione. However, Ron soon saw that he went too far. He stopped himself.

"I'm sorry, Hermione..."

"Don't apologize to me. Harry's the one who deserves an apology from you!"

"I'm not apologizing to a freak!" said Ron and quickly left the room.

When Ron left, Harry and Hermione were alone. None of them didn't speak. After a few more minutes Harry decided to go out.

"Where are you going, Harry?"

"O-On the date, of course" said Harry.

Hermione smiled. She was glad that Ron's words didn't hurt Harry too much.

"Okay, then Harry. Enjoy!" said Hermione and waved to him.

Harry waved back to Hermione and smiled. However, as soon as he left the Gryffondor's common room, his smile disappeared.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo**

Harry was wandering around Hogswarts. Ron's words really hurt him. Harry knew that a lot of people didn't accept gay people. However, Harry thought that Ron would accept him. Ron always told him that he could tell him everything. Well, apparetly not everything.

Harry really couldn't understand what was wrong with Ron. At first Harry could understand that Ron was a bit jealous of Harry and Hermione. But now, things were getting out of hands. Ron didn't believe him anything. Harry sighed loudly. He really hoped that Ron would accept him. Because if he didn't, Harry would lose a good friend. And Harry didn't want that,

The word that hurt Harry the most was when Ron called him freak. He couldn't stand this word. The Dursleys were constantly calling him that when he was younger. When someone called him that it hurt and it made Harry sad. Very sad.

Harry knew that it's nothing wrong with being gay. And he was really happy that at least Hermione accepted him. But what would happen if Ron would out that Harry was dating Snape? Ron would be even more disgusted. He would hate Harry even more than he hates him now. And Harry didn't want this. He didn't want his best friend to hate him.

Harry's heart suddenly felt really heavy. He wished that he could make Ron understand. Harry was still the same person as he was before. He couldn't understand how Ron didn't get this.

Harry sighed and stopped walking. Then he looked around him. He realized that he was standing in front of Snape's private rooms. He didn't even know how he got there. He wasn't paying attention where he was going, while he was thinking.

Harry felt that he was getting nervous. Should he knock? Was he too early? Harry didn't know what to do. Harry let out a sigh and lifted him right arm to knock on the door, but he stopped himself. He could hear his own heart beating like crazy. Harry closed his eyes and quickly calmed himself a bit, then he finally knocked on the door.

After a few seconds the door opened. When Harry saw Snape, his heart beat became even faster.

"Hello, Harry" said Snape "Please, come inside" countinued Snape and smiled.

Harry nodded and followed Snape into his private rooms. Harry's body was shaking, because he was really nervous.

"Make yourself feel like home" said Snape. Harry smiled awkwardly and just nodded, because that was all that he could do at that moment. His brain wasn't capable of doing anything else.

"You are a bit early. I still haven't finished cooking the dinner" said Snape. As soon as Snape's words left his mouth, Harry's smile disappeared from his lips. So he really was too early? Harry was starting to get more and more nervous. He didn't want to ruin things. He wated everything to be perfect.

When Snape saw Harry's reaction, he quickly said: "You know, it doesn't bother me at all. It just means that we'll be able to spend more time together"

Snape's words calmed Harry down a bit.

"Sit down, Harry. I'll be back soon" said Snape and then disappeared in the kicthen.

Harry started looking around Snape's living room. There was a big bookcase in the left corner of the room. The bookcase was full of old and dusty books. Harry assumed they were some books about Potions. Harry saw that next to the bookcase there was a small wardrobe. Harry stepped closer. On that wardrobe there was another picture of Snape and Lily. Snape looked really happy there. And he looked really cute when he was younger. Harry smiled.

"Okay, the dinner should be ready in about 20 minutes" said Snape and sat down on the couch.

Harry quickly turned around. Harry awkwardly nodded and started looking around Snape's living room once again.

When Snape saw that Harry was looking around his living room, he asked: "Are you looking for something?"

"What?" Snape's question confused Harry.

"You are looking around... so I thought that you are looking for something" said Snape and smiled.

"O-Oh that..." said Harry and blushed. "I-I wasn't looking for anything" murmured Harry and looked at the floor.

"Okay, then. Well, why don't you come sit next to me?" asked Snape and smiled.

"O-Okay" said Harry, but his body didn't move. His body wouldn't listen to his brain. After a few seconds Harry finally started moving towards Snape. Harry then sat next to Snape. Harry's face was burning with heath. Harry put his shaky and sweaty hands on his knees.

"I am really happy that you are here" quietly said Snape.

"M-Me too" anwsered Harry, who was trying to avoid eye-contact with Snape.

"Why are you so nervous, Harry? Relax a bit. I don't bite" said Snape and laughed.

Harry smiled nervously and replied: "I-I know. I'm trying to relax, but I just can't help it. Just sitting next to you make me feel this way". Harry soon realized that he was again saying really embaressing things. He quickly stopped talking and he covered his mouth with his hands.

Snape chuckled. He couldn't believe how cute the boy was. With his left hand Snape touched Harry's hands and then removed them from Harry's mouth. Snape then started caressing Harry's right cheek with his finger.

Harry quickly closed his eyes. He was breathing really fast. Harry wanted that Snape would stop touching him like that. On the other hand, Harry liked when Snape touched him. It made him feel special.

"Harry" said Snape with his deep voice. Snape's words made Harry feel dizzy. Harry opened his eyes.

"W-What?" Harry asked.

"I like you so much" whispered Snape into Harry's left ear. Harry didn't know how to react. Snape's words made him feel very happy. Harry got closer to Snape and placed his head onto Snape's chest. Harry could feel how fast Snape's heart was beating. Everything seemed so perfect to Harry. Harry was so happy that he almost started crying.

Snape wrapped his strong arms around Harry's small body. Then Snape kissed Harry's head. Snape then pulled back a little. Harry looked up. Harry was confused and disappointed.

Snape then ran his fingers through Harry's black hair. Harry closed his eyes. His whole body was burning. Snape then removed Harry's glassed and kissed Harry's eyelids, forehead and nose. Harry didn't know what to do. He couldn't even move. It felt like Snape put him under a spell.

Snape knew that it was time to stop. He knew that Harry was too young for these things. But Snape couldn't control his body. He wanted to stop. But he couldn't tell his body to stop. He wanted Harry so badly. He wanted to touch him, to kiss him. Everytime he touched Harry, it felt amazing.

Harry was trying to get more air into his lungs. His heart was racing really fast by now and the room was spinning around. And he was scared. Not of what of Snape could do to him, because he knew that Snape would never hurt him. He was scared that he might screw something up.

Snape kissed Harry's nose once again and then he got dangerously close with his lips to Harry's. Harry realized that Snape was trying to kiss him. At that moment Harry paniced. He didn't know what to do. So he quickly stood up.

"T-The dinner..." was all that Harry could say. He was breathing really heavy.

Snape let out a loud sigh and he hid his face into his palms.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I didn't mean to go that far..." said Snape. Severus was feeling horrible. He knew that the boy wasn't ready to go so far. Snape was almost absolutely 100% that the boy hated him.

"I-It's okay" murmured Harry.

"No, it's not. You are way to young for things like this. And I almost forced you to..."

"You didn't force me into anything" said Harry and sat down. Harry knew that his professor was feeling really guilty and Harry didn't want that. It was true that Harry was a bit scared and nervous, but Harry didn't hate his professor for almost kissing him. Harry wouldn't mind a kiss from Snape and at that moment he was really angry with himself that he reacted that way.

"I'm sorry, Hary. I am so sorry. I just... I lost control over myself. I am really sorry " was repeating Snape.

"I am not angry with you."

"You should be..."

Harry couldn't stand it anymore. He got closer to Snape. Harry then hugged Snape's face and lifted it up, so that Snape was looking at Harry. Snape quickly looked away. Harry then took a deep breath and kissed Snape's cheek.

"I-I l-like you... remember?" said Harry. His voice was trembling.

Snape couldn't say anything. He slowly smiled and nodded.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooo**

Harry and Snape ate the dinner in silence. Harry didn't know what to talk about with Severus. And he was too busy with thinking about the present he was going to give to Snape. Harry hoped that Snape would like his gift.

After the two of them finished eating, they cleaned the dishes. Snape then told Harry to wait for him in the living room. Harry went into the living room. He started walking nervously around the room. He was too embaressed to give the present to his professor.

Snape then soon stepped into the living room. Harry saw that Snape was carrying some really beautiful roses. Then Harry finally understood why was Snape asking him which kind of flowers he liked.

"Here you go" said Snape and handed the roses to Harry.

"It's a Christmas present" said Snape awkwardly and countinued "I didn't know what to give to you, so I decided to give you roses. I hope you like them".

Harry smiled. Harry loved Snape's present. It was really beautiful.

Harry then put the flowers on the small table and took a deep breath. He decided to give his present to Snape. Harry took out a small box from his pocket.

"M-Merry Christmas" whispered Harry and gave the small green box to Snape.

Snape's eyes were wide opened. Did the boy buy him a present? Snape was really surprised and happy. He couldn't believe that Harry actually bought him a gift.

"Thank you" said Snape and started opening the gift.

Harry was starting to get more nervous. He was praying that Snape would like his gift.

Snape opened the box. When he saw the silver nacklace with a small bird, he smiled. Severus liked the nacklace. It was really beautiful.

"It's beautiful, Harry" said Snape.

"T-Thank you, professor" said Harry. Harry was happy that Snape liked his present.

"Severus..."

"Excuse me?" asked Harry, puzzled.

"Severus... When we're alone, call me Severus"

"O-Okay" said Harry.

Severus smiled and hugged Harry. Harry returned him the hug.

"I am so happy" said Snape.

Snape then placed a kiss onto Harry's cheek. Harry tried not to look too nervous, so he smiled. Snape placed another kiss to Harry's cheek, this time closer to his lips.

Snape wanted to kiss Harry so badly. Not only wanted, but he needed. He needed to feel his lips against Harry's. Snape didn't want to scare the boy, but the need was really strong. And he knew that he would soon lose cotrol over his body.

"Harry..."

"Y-Yes?" asked Harry.

"I know what I said earlier... you know about you, being too young. But I would really like to kiss you right now." said Snape.

Harry froze. He wanted the kiss too, but he was really afraid.

"Can I kiss you, Harry?"

Harry slowly nodded.

Snape got really close to Harry's face. Harry could feel Snape's hot breath on his lips. Harry closed his eyes. Everything aroud him felt really unrealistic. Harry couldn't tell if this was the reality or just a dream.

Snape smiled and then kissed Harry's nose.

"S-S-Severus..." whispered Harry.

Snape's heart melted when Harry called him by his name. Snape then put his right hand on Harry's cheek and finally placed his lips onto Harry's.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello everyone :). A new chapter is here and I hope you'll all like it :P**

**(*sigh* again, I know my english is not perfect. I always try my best to correct myself**

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Harry's brain failed working when Snape pressed his lips against Harry's. Harry didn't know how to react. Harry closed his eyes, but he didn't know what to do with hands. Harry's body was on fire. It felt like electricity when Snape kissed him. The kiss was perfect. It felt so amazing. Harry hasn't felt like that in his entire life.

Snape pulled back and then he he put his left hand on Harry's neck. Harry avoided eye contact with Snape once again. He was too embaressed. He wasn't able to look Severus into his eyes. However, Harry could feel that Snape was nervous too. Snape's body was trembling. Snape then kissed Harry again.

Harry wanted to return the kiss back, but he was too scared. In stead of that he gently put his shaking hands on Snape's chest. Harry could feel how fast Snape's heart was beating. That made Harry's heart beat even faster.

Snape then finally pulled back. Snape was breathing really fast.

Harry's face was really red. He felt really hot. He didn't remember feeling so hot before the kiss. He was amazed how Snape's kiss made him feel like.

"T-That was-" started Harry, but then he stopped.

"It was amazing" said Snape, who was smiling.

Harry didn't give Snape a verbal anwser. He was too embaressed to even look Snape, so he quickly turned around. Harry's actions confused Snape. Did he go to far by kissing Harry?

"Harry, what's wrong?"

"N-Nothing..." said Harry with a weak voice. Harry touched his lips. He could still feel Snape's lips againts his own. He took a deep breath as he was trying to calm his racing heart. Harry still couldn't believe that Snape kissed him. It felt like a dream to Harry. A very beautiful dream.

"Is something wrong?" carefully asked Snape. He was really starting to wonder if he went too far. He didn't want to scare Harry. He knew that Harry was really young.

"N-Nothing's wrong..."

"Then why won't you look at me?" said Snape. He sounded almost desperate.

"I-I..." said Harry, but he didn't know how to finish his own sentence. How could he tell Snape that he was too embaressed to do that?

"Did you like it when I kissed you?" slowly asked Snape.

"Yes" anwsered Harry and slowly nodded.

Snape smiled. He finally realized what was bothering the boy.

"Then... are you too embaressed to look at me?" asked Snape.

Harry just nodded, but he didn't say anything.

Snape chuckled. "There's nothing to be embaressed about, Harry. Now please turn around and look at me"

Harry slowly nodded again and then his body started slowly turning around. When he was facing Snape, Harry blushed even harder and he immediately looked at the floor. Harry's palms were sweating and he was feeling dizzy.

Snape got closer to Harry and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and pulled Harry towards himself. They stayed like that for a couple of minutes and then Snape broke their hug.

"Was this your first kiss, Harry?" asked Snape.

"N-No..." was honest Harry.

As Harry said that, Snape felt disappointed a bit. He wanted to be the one to steal the boy's first kiss. And he was feeling a bit jealous too.

"May I ask who did you share your first kiss with?" asked Snape and Harry could see that his professor was annoyed.

"Cho"

"Oh" was all that Snape said.

"But it didn't mean anything, I swear. I didn't feel anything when we kissed. I just needed to make sure..."

"What?" asked Snape and raised his left eyebrow.

"That I hadn't have any feelings for her. At that time I finally realized that I like you" said Harry.

Snape's smile finally appeared on his lips again.

"And may I ask you how it felt when I kissed you?" teased Snape.

Harry blushed again. "I-It felt nice. I mean... I've never felt like that. I thought that my heart was going to jump out of my chest and my whole body was on-" started talking Harry. Then he realized that he was saying embaressing things to Snape again. Harry slapped himself mentally. He couldn't understand why he couldn't he control his words and actions in front of Snape.

Snape's eyes were wide open and he didn't say a words. That made Harry feel uncomfortable and annoyed.

"S-Say something..." said Harry quietly.

"Thank you, Harry. That made me happy" finally said Snape.

Harry smiled. Even though he was embaressed for saying those embaressing things to Snape it made him happy that Snape was happy. Snape then touched Harry's left hand and their fingers intertwined. That made Harry's heart jump a bit, but he was able to cotrol it this time.

"Harry" said Snape with his deep voice.

"Y-Yes?"

"I think it's time for you to go. It's almost 9 pm and I am sure that your friends are looking for you. I don't want them to worry about you" said Snape.

Harry didn't say anything. When Snape said that, Harry remembered his fight with Ron. He didn't want to go back, because he knew that Ron would probably start asking him uncomfortable questions and he would probably say all those horrible things to Harry. And Harry didn't want that. He was too happy and he didn't want that his happiness would be ruined by Ron's horrible comments.

"I don't want to go" finally said Harry.

"What do you mean? You have to go". Snape was surprised by Harry's reaction. Why on Earth wouldn't Harry want to go to his dorm?!

"I want to stay here. Just for a little bit more" said Harry and his voice was very weak.

"I want to spend more time with you too, but... If somebody finds out that you were with me..." tried to explain Snape to Harry.

Harry quickly shook his head. "I want to be with you. I don't want to go to the dorm. Please?"

Snape let out a loud sigh. "Why?"

"I... I had a big fight with Ron before I came here. And I know if I go back that things would just get worse. So please, can I stay here, just a little bit more?"

Snape ran his fingers through his hair. Honestly, he wanted to spend more time with Harry. He didn't even mind the idea of Harry spending the night with him. But he was afraid that someone would find out.

"What was the fight about, Harry?"

Harry didn't know how to anwser this question. He promised to Snape not to tell anybody that they were seeing each other. But if he told Snape what really happened, then he would also have to tell that he broke his promise. On the other hand, he didn't want to lie to Severus. He was sick of lying, but he didn't want to hurt his professor.

"Well..." started Harry and his heart started beating faster, because he was afraid how would Snape react. "He overheard me and Hermione talking about my date tonight with you..."

Those words came painfully slowly from Harry's mouth. Harry quickly closed his eyes, because he didn't want to see how would Snape react. Harry knew that Snape was probably really angry with him. And this time he was right.

"Harry" said Snape with cold voice and countinued. "Did you tell your friends about our relationship?"

Harry heard the beating of his heart in his head. He was now really scared. Harry didn't say anything. He was too afraid to talk.

"Harry, anwser my question!" said Snape with a louder voice.

Harry ran his trembling fingers through his hair. "N-No... I-I mean o-only Hermione knows. I didn't t-tell Ron...". Harry's voice was shaking really bad.

"Why did you tell her?" Snape's voice was now calm, but very cold. Harry hated this.

Harry opened his eyes. He saw that Snape was very angry. He could see the anger in Snape's eyes.

"I told her that I like you even before we started a relationship. I-I was very lonely and sad. I didn't know who to talk to. So I told Hermione, because I couldn't countinue lying. I was lying to my friends, myself... even to you. And I couldn't hold everything in anymore. S-So after we started a relationship I was always in a better mood. And Hermione figured everything out on her own. So when she asked me if we were together, I said yes. I couldn't lie to her anymore. I'm so sorry, but please try to understand."

Snape's face expresion didn't change and that made Harry panic. He told Severus the truth and he was hoping that Snape would understand him.

"You broke our promise" said Snape. He didn't sound so angry anymore, but his voice was still cold.

"I-I know... and I'm so sorry for this. Please don't be angry. I'm begging-"

"What if she tells somebody?" was interrupted Harry by Snape.

"She won't tell anybody. She promised"

"You promised that too" said Snape with a harsh tone.

"I-I didn't mean to break our promise, I swear"

Harry's heart felt heavier by a second. He wanted to scream, but nothing left his mouth. He wanted to make Snape understand. He was trying to explain to Snape, but he wasn't listening to him. He was just ignoring Harry.

What if he couldn't make Snape understand. What would happen next? Would this be the end for them? At this thought Harry could feel that the heath started gathering in his eyes. He didn't want to cry in front of Snape.

"I was right" said Snape and let out a loud sigh. "I knew that you were too young"

Harry knew that Snape had a point. Harry would always cry. He wanted to stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks, but he wasn't able to do that. He cared far too much for Snape. He didn't want to lose him.

"I'm sorry... Be angry with me, just please... I don't want to lose you" said Harry and wipped the tears away.

When Harry said that, Snape's anger disappeared in a second. Snape realized that he was the one who was acting like an idiot. He knew that Harry didn't broke their promise on purpose. And he was too hard on Harry. Snape forgot that Harry was only 15.

"You won't lose me" said Snape with a warmer voice this time.

Harry looked up. He saw that Severus wasn't angry with him anymore.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I overreacted" said Snape and whipped the rest of Harry's tears away. "I didn't mean to make your cry. I am sorry"

"It's okay" quietly said Harry, who was just happy that Snape finally understood him.

"I know that Mrs. Granger won't tell anybody. She is a smart girl"

Harry nodded and smiled.

"But what did Mr. Weasley heard? You said that he overheard the two of you talking"

"He heard that I am going out with a guy and he went completely crazy. He said that I'm disgusting freak. I know that a lot of people are like that. But I thought that he was my friend" said Harry and looked at the floor.

Snape let out a loud sigh. Some people were really stupid.

"Just ignore him, Harry. If he is your friend he will accept you just the way you are. And if he doesn't accept you, then you don't need a friend like him. It's simple as that. Don't worry about this so much."

"I know that" said Harry as the sad smile appeared on his lips. "Well, at least Hermione accepts me"

Severus smiled and nodded. He still felt bad for saying all those things to Harry so he decided to let Harry spend the night with him.

"You know what... You can spend the night here if you wish."

Harry's body froze. Did Snape just ask him to spend the night with him? The whole night. Just the two of them?! And where will he sleep? In Snape's bed? But then... where will Snape sleep?! Maybe with him. On. The. Same. Bed?! Harry blushed as the dreams that he was having about Snape returned into his mind. Harry blushed and started coughing.

Snape raised his left eyebrow. Just what on Earth was the boy thinking now? He just asked him to spend the night over his place. What was so shocking about that? Oh wait...

"You do realize that you will sleep on the couch, right?" quickly said Snape when he realized what was Harry thinking.

"O-Oh yes... of course" said Harry and laughed nervously. Harry started slaping himself mentaly. How on earth could he think that he would sleep in the same bed as Snape?

"On the other hand, Harry. Judging by your reaction I sense that you had something else on your mind. So if you would like, you can join me in my bed" said Snape, who was now just teasing Harry.

Harry on the other hand took Snape's words serious and his face just turned into a darker shade of red.

"W-W-What?"

Snape started laughing. "I was just joking, Harry"

Harry sent Snape an angry look. "Why'd you do that for?"

"Because you look so cute when you blush."

Snape's words made Harry blush even more. When Snape saw Harry's reaction he started laughing.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo**

**The next morning**

Harry yawned as he was walking towards the Gryffondor's common room. It was only 7 am, but Harry was feeling extremely happy. He has just spend the whole night with Severus and he knew that nothing would get him into a bad mood.

When he arrived to the common room, Hermione was already awake. As soon as he stepped into the common room, Hermione started asking him questions.

"Harry, where were you?" asked Hermione.

"You know where I was" anwsered Harry.

Hermione's eyes were wide opened. "You spend the whole night with Snape?"

Harry blushed and slowly nodded.

"But where did you sleep? Don't tell me that you slept with him?"

Harry blushed even harder and his body was feeling hot again.

"Of course not!" said Harry with a loud voice and then he countinued. "I slept on the couch"

"Oh" said Hermione.

"So... what did the two of you did?" asked Hermione after a while.

"We had a nice dinner..." said Harry.

"And? That's all? Did he like the present?"

"Y-Yes, he loved it" said Harry.

"And did anything else happen?" asked Hermione.

"What do you mean?" asked Harry, puzzled.

"You know" said Hermione and her smile was growing bigger and bigger.

"We kissed" said Harry when he realized what Hermione had on her mind.

"How was it?" asked Hermione curiously.

"A-Amazing" was honest Harry.

Then Hermione and Harry heard someone clapping behind them. They turned around and saw Ron.

"Brilliant, Harry. Just brilliant" said Ron with sarcastic voice.

"Ron, please do us both a favour and go away" said angrily Hermione.

"No, until Harry tells me with which freak he's dating"

"It's none of your concern, now is it Ron?" said Harry. He really didn't want to listen to Ron anymore. He was sick of Ron and Harry just wanted to go as far from him as possible.

"It is if you want me to stay your friend" said Ron angrily.

"Then I don't need a friend like you" said Harry and turned to Hermione. "You know, we should go somewhere else"

Hermione nodded. Even though she still liked Ron, she couldn't stand him anymore. He was acting like a complete idiot.

"Oh no, you are going to stay here!" said Ron with a louder voice. However Harry and Hermione ignored him and left the common room.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello everyone :). Thank you again for all your lovely reviews. It feels really nice to know that people actually like my fanfic ^^**

**Well then, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. And please let me know what you think ~~**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooo**

**1 month later**

**10:30 am**

It was the end for January and Harry was sitting in Gryffondor's common room. He didn't have anything to do, so he was absolutely bored to death. Hermione had classes and he was all alone. In this past month Harry lost a lot of friends, because Ron was telling other people horrible things about him. Harry also felt really lonely, because he hadn't spent the whole week with Snape. Snape was really busy this past week with prepaing for the next week's exams.

Harry sighed and looked at the fireplace. Even though Harry felt lonely, he was also very happy too. Things with Snape were going great and Harry couldn't be happier. They've been together for almost a month and a half now.

Harry closed his eyes and smiled. He felt so happy when he was around Snape. Harry loved the way Snape touched and kissed him. Harry was really happy that Snape didn't presure him into anything. Severus was always so gentle with him.

Harry hugged his body. God, he missed Snape's big arms around him. He would give anything that Snape would come into the room and hugged or kissed him.

"Well, well well... Day dreaming, are we?" said a cold voice.

Harry opened his eyes and he knew who was talking with him. It was Ron.

"It's none of your business, so leave me alone" said Harry and looked away.

"You should be the one to leave this room. I can't even breathe the same air as you. It's disgusting. I don't want to catch a disease from a freak like you"

"Wow, you are really mature Ron" said Harry and rolled his eyes.

Ron ignored Harry's comment as he sat down next to Harry. "So tell me, faggot, who are you shagging?"

"Ron, stop it." quietly said Harry.

"No."

"Why are you being like this, Ron?" asked Harry and quickly got up. He felt really uncomfortable sitting next to Ron.

Ron followed Harry. Ron grabbed the collar of Harry's shirt and slammed Harry into the hard wall. Harry whined in pain as his head hit the wall, but Ron ignored Harry's pain. Then Ron grabbed Harry's left arm and twisted it behind Harry's back. Harry tried to ignore the pain in his arm. But he was getting really scared. What was Ron going to do?

Was Ron going to hurt him? Harry's heart started pouding really fast and Harry tried to calm it down. Ron wouldn't do that, would he? He was Harry's friend... or at least used to be. Harry tried to convince himself that Ron won't hurt him.

Ron then got really close to Harry's face. Harry could feel Ron's hot breath against his right cheek. What the hell was Ron doing? Harry looked at Ron and could see only disgust and anger in Ron's eyes. At that moment Harry realized that Ron was able to hurt him. Harry's body started trembling and Ron twisted Harry's arm even harder. The pain in Harry's arm was very strong and Harry tried not to scream in pain. He didn't want Ron to have this sadisfaction.

"Why am I doing this?" angrily asked Ron and his grip on Harry's arm got even harder. "Because freaks like you disgust me" said Ron and spat into Harry's face.

Harry quickly closed his eyes. He couldn't believe that Ron just did that. What on Earth did Harry do to deserve this?!

"R-Ron, please stop this. What did I ever do to you?" said Harry and whipped his face with his free arm.

Ron let go Harry's arm and then he grabbed Harry's collar once again. He slammed Harry hard into the wall again. Harry bit his lip and hoped that this would mild the pain in his back.

"You. Are. Disgusting!" yelled Ron and formed a fist with his right hand. Then he punched Harry hard into the stomach.

The punch was so fast that it shocked Harry. He opened his eyes wide as he was trying to get some air into his lungs. However, there was no air coming into Harry's lungs because the punch was so painful and hard that Harry lost control over his body.

Harry then fell onto his knees, still trying to get some air into his lungs. Tears were starting to form in Harry's eyes and his whole body was shaking badly. Why did Ron have to hate him so much? Why?

Harry then finally started breathing. Ron started laughing.

"This is what is going to happen if you don't start dating girls again" said Ron and then left the common room.

Harry felt sick. He got onto his shaking legs and tried to calm his breathing. Harry needed to do something. He didn't know what to do. He needed to scream, to cry, to run... To get out. Harry got quickly dressed and left the common room.

Harry decided to go out. On his way on the Entrance Hall he was running. It felt good to run. As he was running he saw Snape. Harry hoped that Snape wouldn't notice him, but Harry was wrong. Snape immediately noticed Harry and he knew that something had to be wrong with the boy.

Harry looked confused and really pale.

"Harry, slow down. What's wrong?" asked Snape and quickly grabbed Harry's arm.

At that moment Harry really didn't want to be with Snape. He needed to be alone to think. He knew that he needed to get rid of Snape, but he didn't know how to, because Harry knew that Snape would follow him even if he told him not to.

"N-Nothing's wrong. I just need to get some fresh air, that's all" said Harry and quickly removed Snape's arm from his own.

Snape wasn't buying it. He knew that Harry was lying to him. "You know, I'm free for a whole hour. So we can go together" said Snape.

"N-No, I need to be alone" said Harry and quickly turned around, because hot tears were gathering in his eyes. He didn't want that Snape would worry about him. Harry was sure that there were more important things for Snape to worry about.

"Look at me, when I'm talking to you" said Snape with a harsh voice.

"I-I'm s-sorry" murmured Harry and ran away from Snape.

"Harry, come back here. Harry!" said Snape with a loud voice, but Harry ignored him.

Harry quickly opened the door in Entrance Hall and he ran outside. It felt awesome as the cold air welcomed his face. Harry knew that Snape would probably follow him, so he ran really fast. He wanted to get as far as possible from Snape.

Harry heard Snape's voices behind him, but he ignored them. He ran to Hagrid's Hut and then hid behind a big tree. He was begging that Snape wouldn't find him.

"Harry, where are you?!" yelled Snape and started to look for Harry. Snape was really worried by now. What could upset Harry so much that he wouldn't even talk to him? Snape knew that the boy wouldn't come out if he kept yelling his name, so he decided to stay silent until he was 100% sure where the boy was hiding.

When Harry heard that Snape stopped searching for him, he knew that Snape probably gave up and went inside. At that moment Harry let the tears fall down his face.

Harry sat on the snow and hugged his legs. He felt absolutely horrible at that moment. At first, he tried to ignore Ron's comments. But now Ron hurt him. Really hurt him. That punch into his stomach wasn't even that painful compared to the pain in Harry's heart. Harry didn't know what he did to deserve all this hate from Ron.

The word freak really hurt the most. Harry didn't want to be a freak. He wanted to be normal. Was liking Snape really that horrible? And disgusting? Harry quickly shook his head. He didn't believe that he was starting to think this way.

Harry was so confused at that moment. He really didn't want to lose Ron as his friend. Ron was usually a good friend and Harry knew that he could always count on him. He couldn't understand why Ron didn't want to accept him. Maybe if he would stop dating Snape, Ron would start talking to him.

But break up with Snape? Harry quickly shook his head, because he wanted to get rid of that idea as quikcly as possible. There was no way that he would break up with Snape only because of Ron! Harry's sadness was starting to transform into anger. Harry's body started shaking.

Potter firmed a fist with his left hand and then he turned around, so that he was facing the tree. He lifted his left hand and punched hard into the tree. His hand hurt really badly, but it felt good. The pain felt good, so Harry started punching the tree again and again. Harry then opened his mouth and a loud scream left Harry's mouth.

Harry stopped punching the poor tree, because he was exhausted. Harry then put his head onto the tree and started crying really loud. Harry was too busy with crying to notice that Snape finally found him and that he was walking towards him.

"Harry" whispered Snape. He was shocked to see Harry in this state. What could get Harry into this state? Snape was really worried and he hated when Harry cried. He wanted Harry to always be happy and smiling. And just seing Harry like this broke Snape's heart.

When Harry saw Snape he wanted to get up and go away from Snape, but Snape was quicker this time. He quickly grabbed Harry's arm and pulled Harry towards him. Snape then wrapped his arms around Harry's trembling body and started kissing Harry's face.

"Please try to calm down, Harry" whispered Snape into Harry's right ear.

Harry shook his head in protest.

Snape touched Harry's hand. Snape then noticed that Harry was bleeding from both of his hands. Snape's heart started beating fast and he was starting to get angry. Did somebody hurt Harry?!

"Y-You are bleeding" said Snape as he was trying to calm his voice. However, Harry could notice that Severus's voice was shaking.

Harry looked down to his hands. He realized that punching the tree made him bleed.

"I-It's nothing" said Harry when he finally calmed down a bit.

"Who did this to you?" asked Snape angrily.

"N-Nobody" anwsered Harry.

"Don't lie to me"

"But I'm not lying. It's my fault that I'm bleeding"

"What do you mean?" asked Snape, puzzled.

"I was punching the tree" murmured Harry.

"Why did you that?"asked Snape, who was still holding Harry.

"It doesn't matter" said Harry and looked away.

"Yes, it does" said Snape with a harsh voice and countinued with a softer voice "It does matter to me"

Harry blushed. Harry knew that Snape was worried about him and he didn't want that. That was the reason why he didn't want to see Snape.

"Well, it's nothing serious" lied Harry.

Snape sighed and sat down next to Harry. He knew that Harry has calmed down a bit and that he wouldn't try to run away from him. Seveus then looked at Harry.

"Harry, you need to trust me"

Harry's heart started feeling heavy. He didn't want Snape to think that he didn't trust him. Harry trusted Severus. He just didn't want that Snape would worry about him. However, when he saw the hurt look in Snape's eyes he decided to finally tell Snape the truth.

"I-I trust you" murmured Harry.

"Then why don't you want to tell me what's wrong?"

"Because I don't want you to worry about me"

Snape stared at Harry blankly. Severus then sighed again. How didn't Harry understand that avoiding him would make Snape worry even more?! After all, Harry was really young and Snape knew that he shouldn't be too hard on Harry. But he hated it when the boy was keeping things from him.

"Don't you understand that if you don't tell me that something's wrong and if you avoid me is going to make me even more worried?"

"Oh" was all that Harry said.

"Now, can you finally tell me what happened to you?"

Harry slowly nodded and then he started talking. "I had a fight with somebody earlier"

"With who?" asked Snape. He didn't raise his voice this time. He knew that he needed to be patient with Harry.

"It doesn't matter" said Harry. Even though that Ron was a big jerk, Harry didn't want to tell Snape that it was Ron who attacked him. Harry knew that if Snape found out that it was Ron who did this to Harry that Ron would be in big trouble.

"It was Weasley, wasn't it?" asked Snape.

Harry didn't say anything and that made Snape angry. How on Earth could Harry expect to have relationship with Snape if he countinued lying to him?

"Harry!" said Snape with louder voice.

This surprised Harry and it made him jump a bit. "Y-Yeah, it was Ron"

"What did he say to you?" asked Snape as his anger was growing.

"He called me a freak. He said that I am disgusting" said Harry and looked at the ground.

"Did he do or say something else?" asked Snape again as he was trying to remain calm.

Harry slowly nodded. "H-He was so different... He usually just calls me names but this time, he... He was scary. He was very violent"

"Did... Did he hit you?"

Harry closed his eyes and hugged his stomach. It still hurt him from Ron's punch. Harry's body was shaking really badly. Harry then slowly nodded as the tears started falling down his face. He hated crying, especially in font of Snape.

Snape's breathing was fast. He was really angry by now. How could Weasley hurt Harry so much? Snape thought that they used to be real friends and he almost couldn't believe Harry's words. Snape loudly cursed.

"Do you want me to tell Professor McGonagall that Weasley is bullying you?" asked Snape.

"N-No, you can't. Please, don't. It'll only make things worse."

"Harry, you need to tell somebody about this"

"This is between me and him. If something like this happen again, I swear that I will tell somebody, okay?" said Harry.

"I don't know, Harry"

"P-Please Severus"

When Harry called Snape by his name, Severus finally calmed down a bit. He looked at Harry and caressed Harry's right cheek with his left hand.

"Okay, but you need to promise me that you'll tell me if he hurts you again"

Harry nodded.

Snape then got closer to Harry and took Harry's glasses off. Harry knew what Snape was up to, so he quickly closed his eyes. He could feel that his heart was starting to speed up and his body was feeling hot. The next thing that Harry felt were Snape's lips on his own.

Snape gently pressed his lips onto Harry's. Snape pulled back a little and then he kissed Harry again.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o**

**12:30 am**

Harry was walking around Hogwarts. He was waiting for Hermione to finish her lessons, so that they would go to lunch together. Hermione soon came and they headed to the Great Hall.

"So, how was your morning?" asked Hermione.

Harry decided that he wouldn't tell what happened between him and Ron that morning, so he lied. "Nothing special. I've spent some time with Snape" happily told Harry.

Hermione smiled. "Oh, really? Did you go somewhere?"

"Well, we went for a walk" lied Harry and forced a smile on his face.

Hermione clapped with her hands. "That's amazing, Harry."

"And he kissed me again" whispered Harry and blushed hardly.

Hermione started laughing. She still felt a bit weird when Harry was telling her things that he and Snape did together. But he was happy for Harry, she really was.

"Well, that's nice"

"So how were the Muggle Studies?" asked Harry.

"It was nice, I guess. I mean, we were talking about telephones today. And it wasn't too interessting because I know how the phone works since my parents are muggles" said Hermione and smiled.

After a few moments, Harry and Hermione saw Ron. Harry felt sick and he wanted to avoid Ron. He really didn't want to run into him, because he knew that Ron would start humiliating him again and Hermione could figure out what happened between them today.

"Let's so this way" said Harry to Hermione and then he dragged her the other way.

"Why did you do this, Harry?"

"Ron was there. I don't want to listen to his stupid comments again. I am in too good mood and I don't want to spoil it" lied Harry.

"Okay" said Hermione and nodded. She agreed with Harry.

"Does he ever talk to you, Hermione?" asked Harry,

"Yes, he tries. But I keep ignoring him"

Harry felt guilty a bit. It was true that Ron was acting like a complete moron, but he knew that Hermione liked him.

"You can talk to him, if you want. I mean, I won't get angry. And I know that you like-" said Harry and he was soon interrupted by Hermione.

"Don't worry about me, Harry. He is stupid if he can't accept you. Plus I don't like him anymore"

"Really?" asked Harry, who was really surprised.

"Yes, I don't need somebody like him to be my friend. Or my boyfriend. So don't worry about it, I'm okay" said Hermione and smiled.

Harry smiled too. He was actually happy that Hermione didn't like Ron anymore.

Hermione and Harry soon arrived to The Great Hall. They sat down and started eating lunch.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello everyone :). It's been a while since I've updated, because my stupid computer stopped working :(**

**Well, enjoy reading and tell me what you think**

**ooooooooooooooo**

**The next morning**

Harry opened his eyes and looked at the clock. It was 6 am. Harry quickly got up and got dressed. He was the first one to wake up and Harry was very pleased by that, because that meant that Ron was still asleep. Harry started waking up a bit earlier, because Ron started to bully him even in the mornings.

Harry then went into the Common Room. Because Harry knew that Hermione won't wake up anytime soon, Harry decided to go for a walk around Hogwarts. He got up and quietly left the common room.

It felt weird to Harry to walk around Hogwarts so early. The castle was really quiet, because most of the students were still asleep. Harry closed his eyes and enjoyed the peace. Harry smiled, because he felt happy. Harry didn't even know what made him so happy. Maybe it was the peace around him.

However, Harry didn't enjoy the peace a long time. After a few minutes, somebody yelled Harry's name and Harry rolled his eyes. He really wanted to be alone and he didn't want to be bothered.

Harry turned around and saw Ginny waving to him. Harry didn't know what to do. Ginny was still talking to him, but it was awkward to Harry. He and Ron weren't talking and he didn't know how to react, so he just awkwardly waved Ginny back. Ginny sent him a smile and stepped closer to him.

"Hi, Harry. How are you?" asked Ginny happily.

"I've been better" said Harry and continued, "And you?"

"I'm pretty good" said Ginny and then looked at the floor. An awkward silence fell between them, because neither of them didn't know how to start a conversation.

"So, what are you doing up so early?" asked Ginny after a while.

"I just woke up, so I decided to go for a walk. What about you?" asked Harry.

"Me too. I couldn't sleep anymore, so I woke up" said Ginny. And then, they were both silent again. Harry was starting to feel nervous. He wanted to be alone and he somehow needed to get rid of Ginny. However, Harry couldn't think of any good excuses to leave.

"Look," said Ginny after a while and continued "I know that you and Ron had been fighting lately"

"Yes?" said Harry and raised his left eyebrow.

"But I want us to still be friends" murmured Ginny.

"So you don't have problems with me dating another guy?" asked Harry happily. He almost couldn't believe his ears. He was really happy that Ginny was still willing to be his friend.

"So, it really is true..." said Ginny quietly.

"Yes. Why?" asked Harry suspiciously.

"It doesn't matter" said Ginny with a quiet voice. Harry could see that Ginny was upset. What was wrong with her? Harry couldn't figure out what Ginny was trying to tell him. Was she making fun of him? Maybe Ron sent her here?!

"Is it a problem?" asked Harry, who was starting to get annoyed. He was sick of questions like this. There were a lot of people, especially girls, who were asking him the same question for the past month.

Ginny quickly looked up as she saw that Harry misunderstood the situation.

"No, no. It really isn't" quickly responded Ginny and forced a smile upon her face.

"O-kay" said Harry, who still wasn't completely believing Ginny.

"I'm serious Harry. My brother is really a jerk for hating you only because you like boys" said Ginny.

Harry finally smiled, because he knew that Ginny was telling the truth. It really meant a lot to him. He didn't have many friends left and he started to cherish the remain ones even more.

"Thanks, Ginny. This means a lot to me" said Harry and hugged Ginny. Ginny at first didn't know what to do, but after a few seconds, she returned Harry the hug.

"So, where were you headed?" asked Harry and broke their hug.

Ginny looked somehow disappointed as Harry did that, but she quickly recovered. "Nowhere special. But we can go somewhere together, if you want" said Ginny.

Harry nodded and they started walking.

"Ginny, do you have somebody that you like?" asked Harry.

Ginny blushed and slowly nodded. "Y-Yes"

"May I ask who is it?" asked Harry again and grinned.

"It doesn't matter" quickly responded Ginny.

"Is it somebody that I know?"

"You could say that" said Ginny and quickly looked at the floor.

Harry smiled, but he didn't ask anymore questions. He knew how it felt is somebody was constantly bothering with questions like this. It felt really annoying and uncomfortable.

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

**7:30 am**

Ginny and Harry were at The Great Hall, waiting for breakfast to start. They were talking about some school stuff. Ginny was explaining about a spell that she had a problem casting, but Harry wasn't paying too much attention to her. He was looking at the Teacher's table, because Snape was already sitting there. Harry noticed that Snape was looking at him, so he sent him a little smile. After a few seconds, Snape sent him a smile back.

"Harry! Are you even listening to me?" asked annoyed Ginny.

Harry quickly stopped flirting with Snape and he looked at Ginny. "Excuse me, what?"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "I asked you if you could help me with the spell?"

"Which spell?" asked Harry.

"Were you even listening to me at all?"

"I'm sorry?"

" I said that I wanted to learn the Patronus spell and I know that you can cast it. So, could you please help me with it?" asked Ginny again.

"Of course" replied Harry as his eyes were on Snape again.

"Thanks, Harry" happily replied Ginny and quickly hugged Harry.

Harry noticed that Snape's body tensed up when Ginny hugged him. When Harry saw Snape's reaction, he started laughing. He couldn't believe how jealous and possessive the man was. When Snape saw that Harry was laughing at him, he felt even more annoyed, so he quickly looked away and Harry felt a bit angry with himself.

"So when do you think you'll be able to help me with the spell?" asked Ginny when she saw that Harry wasn't paying any attention to her again.

Harry quickly turned to Ginny and said: "I don't know. I mean, I have a lot of free time on my hands, so you can pick when we'll practice the spell"

Harry noticed that Ginny blushed a little as Harry said that. After a while Ginny said: "Well, I'm free this afternoon. What about you?"

Harry nodded and said: "Yeah, I'm free this afternoon too. Meet me in common room around 4 o'clock pm, okay?"

Ginny smiled and nodded.

Harry noticed that Ginny was acting strange around him. She wasn't as relaxed as she usually was and she was blushing constantly. What could be wrong with Ron's sister? Harry used to act like that around Snape. Well, he still did. Maybe Ginny liked Harry?! Harry started to think a bit. It all started to make sense. It explained why Ginny was blushing when he hugged her. It also explained why Ginny was sad when he told her that he is in a relationship with someone. Harry sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He decided not to say anything to Ginny. He decided to pretend to be clueless. It made him feel a bit uncomfortable, because he didn't know how would Ginny act around him.

He didn't mind Ginny hugging him, because he didn't feel absolutely nothing towards her, but he knew that someone else minded when somebody was hugging him. And that someone was Snape.

Harry quickly looked at the Teacher's table. He saw that Snape was looking him again, so Harry sent him a smile. After a while Snape returned him a small smile. Harry was happy. He was happy that Snape wasn't feeling too jealous.

"Hello, Harry" said Hermione and sat down next to him. Because Harry was too busy with looking Snape, he didn't saw Hermione coming, so she really scared him. He jumped a bit and quickly turned to her.

"Hey, Hermione. You scared me!" said Harry.

"Really? Why?!" asked Hermione, puzzled.

"Because he's too busy daydreaming. I was trying to make a conversation with him earlier, but he didn't listen me at all" complained Ginny and then left the table.

"What's wrong with her?" asked Hermione.

Harry shrugged his shoulders and started flirting with Snape again. Hermione soon realized why Ginny was in such a bad mood. Hermione saw why Harry wasn't listening to Ginny. She realized that he was too busy with exchanging the looks with his Potion's professor.

"Harry, you are literally drooling" said Hermione and started laughing out loud.

"What?" asked Harry confused.

"I know that you are looking at Snape" quietly said Hermione and then she continued. "This is why you weren't listening to Ginny, am I right?"

Harry blushed a bit and then he nodded.

Hermione started laughing. Harry sent her an angry look. However, Harry wasn't really angry at his best friend. Harry then looked at the table and started eating bread with jam.

"He's looking over here" whispered Hermione.

Harry quickly looked up and saw that Snape was really watching him again. This time it felt a bit uncomfortable, because Ron just stepped into the Great Hall and Harry was starting to feel nervous. Harry could see that Severus was now staring angrily at Ron. Harry was 100% that if looks could kill, Ron would be dead by now. Ron then got closer to Harry and Hermione. Harry quickly looked away and pretended that he was chatting with Hermione. Hermione did the same thing, because she really didn't want to deal with Ron.

"Hi, Hermione" said Ron.

"What do you want, Ron?" asked Hermione. Ron could sense that Hermione was annoyed.

"We need to have a talk" said Ron, who was completely ignoring Harry this time.

"Why?" simply asked Hermione.

"Because I've been acting like an idiot. And I would like the two of us to be friends again."

"Well, then apologize to Harry and things will get back to normal" said Hermione, who was even looking at Ron.

Harry stopped listening to Hermione and Ron for a bit and he looked at the Teacher's table. He could see that Snape still had an eye on him and Ron. Harry knew that Snape was really angry and knowing that it made Harry happy.

"Oh, I'm not apologizing to him, Hermione. He's a freak. I want us to be friends again. I really miss you and I-I think that I l-like you" said Ron, who's voice was trembling.

"You do know that I'm sitting next to Hermione, don't you?" asked Harry, but Ron didn't pay any attention to him.

"Yeah, well Ron. I'm sorry, but if you don't apologize to Harry, we have nothing else to talk about. I think I've told this about a million times" said Hermione.

Ron was now angry. "Don't you see what he's doing to you?! He is brain-washing you!" said Ron with a louder voice.

"What are you talking about?" said Hermione, also with a louder voice.

"He's the only reason that we are fighting!"

"No, Ron you are. You are an asshole!" said Hermione and stood up.

"Where are you going?" asked Ron.

"Away from you. And don't even try to follow me, because I promise that you will regret it if you do!" said Hermione and left The Great Hall.

Harry let out a loud sigh. He was sick of all this fighting.

"Ron, if you really like Hermione, then you should at least try to accept me. Or at least pretend" said Harry.

"Shut up"

"Don't tell me that the Saint Trio is fighting?!" said a voice behind Harry. Both Ron and Harry turned around and saw that Draco Malfoy was mocking them.

"Draco, fuck off" said Harry, because he didn't want to deal with him too. At that moment he was sick of everybody.

"Potty, watch your words" said Draco and smirked. "Are there troubles in the Saint's Trio heaven?"

"Malfoy, go away" said Ron, who was annoyed with Draco's presence as well.

"Why?" playfully asked Draco. He was really enjoying himself.

"Because you are annoying" replied Ron.

Draco started laughing, because Ron's reply seemed really pathetic to him. Harry has also almost started laughing when he saw how angry Ron was. Ron's face was really red. Ron started gritting his teeth and he squeezed his hand into a fist. Harry could see that Draco's laughing was growing louder and louder. Harry didn't want to admit to himself, but he was really enjoying when Draco was making fun of Ron.

"Well, let's see if you still continue to smile when I tell you that you are standing next to a fag!" said Ron and pointed at Harry.

"Oh, now I see what's wrong" said Draco, when he stopped laughing. "Weasel is a homophobe!"

"I am not!" protested Ron and continued. "Fags are just freaks!"

Harry could feel that his heart started beating faster and he was nervous now. He didn't know why he was nervous. And he was sad. He hated this word. He wished that Ron would stop calling him this.

"Well you know what they say: homophobes are usually scared fags who are afraid to come out!"

Harry opened his eyes wide and was afraid what will Ron do next. He knew that Draco really pissed Ron off now. Draco started laughing again.

"Take your words back!" said slowly Ron.

"Make me" said Draco.

"Oh don't worry, I will!" said Ron and ran to Draco. His plan was to push Draco on the floor. However, Draco moved and Ron lost balance. When Ron lost balance, he ran into the table and knocked it over. When Ron landed on the floor, the whole Great Hall started laughing. Even Harry was laughing.

"Is there a problem?" slowly asked a cold voice and Harry knew that Snape was standing right next to him.

"Not at all, professor. We sorted it out ourselves" said Draco.

"15 points from Gryffindor. Look at the mess you made, Weasley!" angrily said Snape.

"It's Malfoy's fault!"

"Now scram, if you don't want to lose any more points" hissed Snape and Ron quickly left the Great Hall.

"And you, Potter. Follow me!" said Snape.

"But I did nothing, professor" said Harry.

"Stop talking!" ordered Snape and Harry quickly closed his mouth.

Just before he left the Great Hall with Snape, Draco said: "You need to stand up for yourself Potter."

Harry didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. Was Draco actually being nice to him?


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello everybody :). Again thank you very much for your lovely reviews. I hope that you'll all like this chapter too**

**Enjoy~~**

**ooooooooooooooooooooooo**

"Sit down, Harry" said Severus.

Harry didn't say anything. He followed Snape into the classroom and then he sat down on the chair that was next to Snape's table. Harry didn't know what Snape was up to. Harry guessed that Snape was maybe angry with Harry. Harry though that because Snape said all those harsh words in the Great Hall. Or maybe was Snape angry with Ron again? Harry didn't know what to say, so he stayed silent.

"How are you, Harry?" asked Snape.

"I'm fine" replied Harry.

"That's nice to hear" said Snape and sat down next to Harry.

"Are you angry?" asked Harry.

"No, not anymore" said Snape and his lips curled into a little smile. Then Snape ran his fingers through Harry's hair. Harry closed his eyes and smiled. It felt good that Snape was touching him again. Harry became addicted to Snape's touches. When Snape touched him, Harry's body felt amazing. At first he used to be very nervous, but now he wasn't nervous anymore. He finally relaxed when he was alone with Snape.

Snape also noticed that the boy finally stopped being so nervous around him and that made Snape happy, because this way he knew that the boy didn't mind the touches. And because of that Snape became a bit bolder with touching Harry. He wasn't afraid to touch Harry anymore.

"Why did you want to see me then?" asked Harry.

"Do you mind it?"

"Of course not" quickly replied Harry.

"I just wanted to see you. That's all. I've missed you, Harry" said Severus.

Harry's cheeks colored into the dark shade of red. Snape was again saying embarrassing things that made feel Harry very nervous.

"I've missed you too" said Harry.

Harry was so happy at that moment. He completely forgot about his problems that he had with Ron. Harry lifted his right arm and he placed his palm onto Snape's right cheek. Snape chuckled. Snape's chuckle made Harry's hands tremble, but Harry decided that this time he wouldn't freak out. He somehow succeeded to calm down his nerves and then he ran his finger down Snape's cheek. Harry saw that Snape closed his eyes. Harry couldn't believe how beautiful and peaceful the man seemed at that time. Harry couldn't believe that Snape chose him.

"You are so beautiful" whispered Harry.

Harry didn't mean to say that out loud. As soon as his words left his mouth, he blushed hardly and hoped that Snape didn't hear him. However, Snape did hear him. Snape's eyes were wide open. Harry's words surprised him.

"W-What?" said Harry when he saw how surprised Snape looked.

"Nobody has ever said that to me before" said Snape, who was smiling now.

"Really?" blurted out Harry. He soon started kicking himself mentally, because he couldn't control what was coming out of his mouth anymore.

"Yes"

Harry couldn't understand why Snape was so surprised about that. Severus was really handsome and Harry couldn't understand why nobody has ever said that to Snape before. Other people must've been blind.

"Thank you" said Snape and kissed Harry's cheek.

Harry's heart sped up a bit. Harry didn't avoid eye contact with Snape this time. Harry got closer to Snape's face, so that he felt Snape's hot breathe against his cheek. Harry was breathing really fast and was very nervous, but he didn't want to give in into the fear. Harry then closed his eyes and lightly pressed his lips against Snape's hot ones. The kiss was short, but it meant a lot to Harry. This was the first time that he kissed Severus on his own. Snape returned him the kiss.

Harry then pulled back. He looked into the Snape's eyes. He was looking for any sign of emotion in Severus's eyes.

"H-How was it?" asked Harry and his voice was shaking.

"The kiss?"

Harry nodded and Severus started laughing.

"It was amazing, Harry" said Snape.

Harry nodded again and smiled. He felt 100 pounds lighter when Snape said that.

"Harry, are you free this afternoon?" asked Snape after a while.

"W-Well, I promised Ginny that I'll teach her how to cast the Patronus charm" said Harry.

"Oh" said Snape and he tried not to sound too disappointed.

"Why?"

"I thought that we might spend some time together." said Snape.

"We still can" quickly replied Harry, because he really wanted to spend some time with Snape too. "I promised Ginny that I'll tutor her at 4 pm. So we can meat after that?"

"That would be great" replied Snape and smiled.

"What time did you have on your mind?"

"Around 6pm. Do you think that you'll be able to come by then?"

Harry quickly nodded. "Yes. We should be finished by then"

"Good. And if your friends ask you where you are going, just say that I gave you detention" said Snape.

"Okay" said Harry and smiled.

"I think you should go now. Your classes are about to start in any minute" said Snape.

Harry nodded and stood up.

"Well. Goodbye then. See you this afternoon" said Harry and started walking towards the door.

"Wait" said Snape and Harry stopped walking. He turned around and saw that Snape was walking to him. Snape then hugged Harry's face and gave him a quick kiss onto his lips.

"What was that for?"

"Nothing. Just a goodbye kiss" simply said Snape and smiled.

Harry returned Snape an awkward smile and then he waved.

"Bye"

"Goodbye, Harry. I wish you a good day"

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

**5:30 pm**

Harry and Ginny were in the Room of the Requirement. Harry was trying to teach Ginny the Patronus spell, but Ginny was having some problems with casting it. Harry didn't blame her, because he knew that this spell was really difficult.

"Think of something that makes you happy" said Harry again.

"I am trying" said Ginny and tried to cast the spell again.

"Expecto Patronum" said Ginny. A small blue light came from her wand and then it quickly disappeared.

"That was really good." said Harry and looked at the clock.

"Why are you constantly looking at the clock?" was curious Ginny.

"I have somewhere to go."

"Where?" asked Ginny again.

"Snape gave me detention" explained Harry.

"Why?"

Harry almost rolled his eyes.

"I forgot to write an essay, so he gave me a detention."

"Oh, I see" said Ginny and she was disappointed.

"Yes. I have the detention at 6 o'clock, so I think that you can still cast the spell for a couple of times"

"Do you think that you can be a bit late for your detention?"

"Why?" asked Harry suspiciously.

"Because I still want to practice the charm for a little bit. I'm sure that Snape would understand"

"Are you serious? Do you know Snape at all? Of course he won't understand" said Harry, because he was trying to come up with an excuse. He didn't want to spend anymore time with Ginny. He was very excited for his date with Snape and he didn't want to be late for it. On the other hand, Harry didn't want to disappoint Ginny.

"What if we do this again tomorrow?" asked Harry.

Ginny was silent for a bit, but then he nodded.

"Okay"

Ginny tried to cast the spell for a couple of times again. Then when the clock was 5:50 pm, Harry left for his "detention." When Ginny was alone in the Room of the Requirement, she took out her want again.

"Expecto Patronum" said Ginny and a blue, horse shaped animal came from her wand.

The truth was that she actually knew how to cast the charm. She was only pretending to have a problem with it, because she wanted to spend more time with Harry this way. Even though that she knew that Harry was in a relationship with someone, she was determined to win over his heart.

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

**6:10 pm**

Harry was a bit late for his date with Snape, because he had to get changed. He quickly got dressed into jeans and a tight green sweater. He then quickly left the Bedrooms and ran into the dungeons. When he came in front of the Snape's private rooms he quickly knocked on the door. Harry heard slow footsteps that were coming closer to the door.

"You are late" said Snape when he opened the door.

Harry let out a loud sigh and stepped into the room. Then he closed the door. He knew that Snape would have a problem with this.

"I told you that I had to tutor Ginny" said Harry.

"I know, I know" said Snape and Harry could tell that Severus was annoyed. Harry didn't want to spend their precious time together fighting, so he decided that he would get Snape into a better mood.

"Did you miss me?" asked Harry and grinned like a small child.

"Yes, I did" answered Snape and looked away.

"I missed you too" replied Harry and happily jumped in front of Snape. Severus clearly didn't expect that, because he almost jumped too.

"What are you doing?" suspiciously asked Snape.

"I'm just happy to be with you" said Harry.

Snape's facial expression finally softened and he smiled.

"Me too" said Snape and sat down on the sofa. Harry imitated Snape's actions and sat down next to him. Both of them stayed silent foe a while. Harry closed his eyes and rested his head on Snape's right shoulder. When Harry placed his head onto Severus's shoulder, Snape chuckled. Snape then started caressing Harry's right cheek with is left hand. When Harry felt that Snape was touching him he felt hot again and his heart was racing. Harry slowly opened his eyes, but soon closed them, because Snape kissed him.

The first kiss was short, but sweet. Snape then pulled back a bit and took Harry's glasses off. Snape then lightly put his hand onto Harry's neck and pulled Harry closer to himself. Because Harry didn't show any kind of fear, Snape continued by kissing Harry's both eyelids and Harry's nose. Harry was feeling dizzy, but he smiled when Snape kissed his nose, because Snape's hair was tickling his face.

Snape was slowly losing control over his actions. Snape kissed Harry again. This time, the kiss was a bit longer that Harry was used to. When Snape pulled back again, Harry started breathing fast. Harry opened his eyes and looked into Snape's eyes. There was a new emotion in Snape's eyes that Harry couldn't figure out what it was. It seemed as Snape was under some kind of spell.

Snape noticed that Harry's body started shaking a bit. He knew that he should stop, but he couldn't control his body anymore. Even if his mind was telling him to stop, Snape didn't listen to it. His body didn't listen to him. Snape them placed his lips onto Harry's again. Snape opened his mouth a bit and ran his tongue along Harry's lips, begging Harry for entry.

Harry was at this point paralyzed. He didn't know what to do. Harry knew what Snape wanted to do. Harry knew what a deep kiss was, but because he never had one before he was afraid, because he didn't know what to do. After a few seconds of thinking, Harry opened his mouth a bit. Snape slowly pushed his tongue into Harry's mouth.

When Harry felt Snape's tongue against his, he opened his eyes wide. It felt really weird to Harry. But because he didn't want to disappoint Severus, Harry moved his tongue a bit, hoping that his was doing a right thing. When Snape felt that Harry's returned him the kiss, his mind stopped working. Snape wrapped his tongue around Harry's.

Snape them placed his hand onto Harry's chest. His hand started traveling lower and lower. That made Harry moan a bit. Harry felt really good at that moment. He wished that Snape would never stop touching him

As soon as the quiet moan escaped Harry's mouth, the reality hit Snape. He realized what he did and he was very angry with himself.

Snape pulled back and Harry started gasping for air. Harry's cheeks were burning with heat and Harry's body felt like an overcooked noodle.

"Shit..." quietly said Snape. "Harry, I'm sorry. I am so sorry"

Harry didn't know what to say. He was just sitting there on the sofa and trying to figure out what has just happened, because Harry's brain failed working. He was still breathing very heavily and his heart was ready to jump out of his chest.

When Severus saw that Harry wasn't saying anything, he became really worried and scared. Snape was feeling really guilty for doing this. At that moment he felt like a monster. He was doing the same thing as James did to him many years ago.

"Please say something" said Snape and Harry could tell that Snape's voice was shaking. However, Harry was still not saying anything.

"I know I went too far. You don't know how guilty I feel. I completely lost control over my body. I know that this is a bad excuse, but…" said Snape and stopped talking, because he knew that his words weren't making any sense.

"It's okay" quietly said Harry, who finally calmed down a bit. Harry wasn't angry at Severus. Harry actually felt amazing when Snape's hand was traveling around his body. It made him feel safe.

"No it is not. I almost forced you to… I almost did something horrible. I knew you weren't prepared for this, yet I… Just like James did-"

"Don't!" interrupted Harry. He couldn't believe that Severus was comparing himself to James.

"What?" asked Severus, who was surprised.

"Don't compare yourself to my father. You are nothing like him!"

"I almost-"

"But you didn't! My father was a bully, a horrible person. He did something horrible to you, but I know that you wouldn't do that to me" said Harry.

"I-"

"Stop it, please. I'm not angry with you, because you didn't do anything horrible. I felt good when you kissed me like that" said Harry and blushed.

"Y-you liked that?" asked Snape.

"Y-Yes. It felt really good. S-So please stop apologizing" said Harry.

"I thought you hated it"

Harry let out a loud sigh. "I didn't. At first I was afraid a bit, because this is all new to me. This was the first time that someone kissed me like this. But as I said before, I really am fine. I didn't come here so that we'll argue about this"

"Are you sure?"

Harry rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Yes" said Harry and hugged Snape. Snape returned Harry the hug. Severus was still very angry with himself, but he was also very happy that the boy wasn't angry with him. Snape didn't know what he would do if Harry would hate him, because of what he did. Harry didn't even want to know, because he cared far too much for the boy.


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello everyone. So here is a new chapter and I hope you'll like it. I'm really nervous about this one, so please try to be kind? :D**

**Well, enjoy reading and please tell me what you think :)  
**

***This chapter is rated M. Don't like it? Then don't read it!***

**oooooooooooooooooooooo**

**2 weeks later**

Harry was lying in his bed and a comfortable heat was hugging him. It felt as somebody was there in bed with him. However, Harry knew that this couldn't be true, because he knew that when he went to sleep, he was alone. Also, he was too lazy to even open his eyes and see what was happening around him. Harry then yawned and started thinking pleasant things. He thought of Severus mostly and how much he missed him. Even though they've last seen each other 2 days ago, Harry was again feeling lonely without him around.

Harry then felt that somebody started moving next to him. At that time, Harry opened his eyes quickly and he realized that somebody must've been in bed with him. But as soon as he opened the eyes, he could see that he wasn't in the Gryffindor's Dormitory. He didn't even know where he rooms was so dark that Harry couldn't see anything. The only thing that Harry could actually feel, was the same heat, which was still hugging his body.

Harry turned around and saw a naked body, which was lying next to him. He was paralyzed and scared. Who on Earth could be in bed with him? Plus where the Hell was he?! He remembered falling a sleep in the Dormitory in his bed! Something must've been really wrong. Harry could feel that he was starting to get really nervous. Then Harry picked a little bit of courage that he still had and decided to wake up the person who was sleeping next to him.

"Wake up! Who are you?!" Harry with a shaky voice, but he received to verbal answer. That made Harry angry and he shook the person.

The person next to him finally started moving and Harry was prepared to pull the wand out of his pocket. But then he realized that he was naked too! A blush came into Harry's face. He felt horrible. At that point he wouldn't mind being murdered at all.

"What's wrong?" asked a deep voice. Harry's heart beat increased, because he knew that the deep voice could belong to only one person. And that person was no other than Severus Snape.

"What's happening?" asked Harry out loud. He couldn't understand what happened. How could he end up naked in bed with Snape? Maybe this was just another dream?!

"Oh, good morning, Harry" said Severus and smiled. But the smile wasn't the same as Harry was used to. The smile seemed somehow cold to Harry and perhaps even evil.

"H-How did we e-end up in a bed together?" asked Harry, who was trying to calm his racing heart down.

"Oh you don't remember?" asked Snape and continued. "We had quite a night, it's a pity that you don't remember. I made you scream really loud". Severus then smirked.

"E-Excuse me?" asked Harry, who was now feeling horrible. He felt as somebody kicked him into the stomach. This couldn't be the reality. Did he really sleep with Snape and then not remember in afterwards?! But Harry knew that Severus would never do something like this to him. At that point, Harry was really confused.

"Well, I can make you remember" said Snape with a loud voice and kissed Harry on the lips.

Harry was surprised when Snape kissed him. Harry tried to escape Severus, but his body wasn't moving. He even started kissing Snape back! Harry started screaming at his body, because it wasn't listening to him. Severus then licked Harry's lips and Harry opened his mouth, so that Snape could explore his mouth with his tongue. Severus deepened the kiss and Harry started moaning very quietly. Even though Harry's mind was telling him that it was the time to stop, he didn't even bother to listen to it. Having Snape kissing him like this was like a dream come true. Severus wrapped his tongue around Harry's and then gently bit Harry's tongue. Harry couldn't even explain with words how good that felt. Harry's moans were getting louder and louder.

Snape pulled back a bit and Harry could see that Severus had again that evil smile on his face. Harry didn't like it, but at that moment his body was feeling far too good to care about things like this. Severus then leaned to Harry again and started kissing Harry's neck. Harry could feel that Severus put his tongue out and he started licking and gently sucking the skin on Harry's neck. Harry was really surprised, but really turned on at the same time. Harry could feel that an unfamiliar and a strange heat started spreading through his lower part of his stomach.

Severus then started kissing Harry bare chest and when Snape gently bit one of his hard nipples, Harry let out a loud moan. He has never felt so good in his life. He wished that Snape would never stop touching him. Harry could feel that something was happening with his lower parts of his body. He soon realized that he was already hard.

Snape noticed Harry's erection, so he smiled. Just as he was about to touch it, Harry opened his eyes.

At first Harry was really confused, because he didn't know where he was. He put his glasses on and he realized that he was in the Dormitory. Harry let out a loud sigh and looked at the clock. It was 3:30 am, so Harry knew that all of that was dream. Harry was still shaking because of dream and he felt relieved that all of that was just a dream. However, he couldn't help it, but to feel a bit disappointed too at the same time.

But the erection in Harry's pants on the other hand was the reality. Harry tried to ignore it, because he didn't want to masturbate, while thinking of Snape. It just wouldn't seem right to Harry, so he lied back, ignoring the need to touch himself. That night, Harry didn't get a lot of sleep.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

**7:30 am**

Harry yawned and waved to Hermione, who was coming to the Common Room. That night he didn't sleep anymore, because every time he closed his eyes, the images of the dreams started flashing in front of his eyes.

"Hello, Harry" cheerfully said Hermione.

"Hi, Hermione" replied Harry and yawned again.

"Harry, what's wrong?" asked Hermione when she noticed how tired Harry actually looked.

"Nothing really, I just didn't sleep a lot. I had some really weird dreams"

"Did you have nightmares about You Know Who again?" asked Hermione, who was really worried for her best friend.

"Oh, no. Nothing like this" quickly replied Harry.

"Oh, that's good. So what did you dream about?" asked Hermione.

"I... Severus" quietly replied Harry.

"Well, this is good isn't it? Or did he break up with you in the dream?" asked Hermione.

Harry quickly shook his head.

"Then, what happened in the dream?" asked Hermione, but didn't need anymore explanations when he noticed a huge blush on Harry's cheeks. The only thing that left her mouth was a loud "Oh"

"Y-Yeah, so I don't really want to talk about it, okay?" said Harry.

"Okay" said Hermione and smiled.

That day was really long, or so it seemed to Harry. Harry was barely awake at the Charms and Transfiguration classes. He fell asleep at The Defense against the Dark arts, however fortunately Umridge didn't see him when he was asleep, because Hermione quickly woke him up. Harry thought that Hermione would be angry with him for falling asleep in the middle of the class, but she just smiled when that happened. Harry smiled back. The next on their period list were Potions and Harry really considered not going. One of many reasons was that he felt too tired to do anything and just the thought of making a Potion made him even more tired. But he also didn't want to face Snape, because of the dreams that he had last night.

"Hermione, I won't go to the Potions" said Harry as they were walking towards the dungeons.

"Oh, yes you will go. Why don't you want to go to Potions?" asked Hermione, who was really surprised by Harry's decision.

"I'm too tired?"

"It's those dreams, right?" guessed Hermione right.

"Yeah. Just tell him that I'm feeling sick or something like this. Please, Hermione?" asked Harry.

"No, I won't be lying for you. You will go to the Potions" said Hermione.

"But-"

"No buts, Harry. You have to go, plus don't you think that Professor Snape would be worried if I told him that you were feeling sick?"

"I know that, I just..."

"You, if you really don't want to go, then you tell him that you aren't feeling okay. Like I said, I won't be lying for you" said Hermione.

"Fine, then I'll go to the Potions" angrily said Harry.

"Good" said Hermione and they finally arrived in front of the Potion's classroom. They realized that they were the first one to arrive, because it was really early. Harry sighed and sat down on the floor, because he felt too sleepy to stand. Hermione sat down, next to Harry and tried to cheer him up.

"Oh, don't look so gloomy, Harry. Plus it is really good that you go to Potions. You used to skip them a lot, don't you remember?" asked Hermione,

"Yeah, I guess you are right" said Harry and closed his eyes. Even the cold floor and the wet wall seemed good to Harry at that moment. Harry could feel that he was slowly dazing off. Hermione noticed that Harry started falling asleep, so she stopped talking and allowed Harry to rest a bit. After a few minutes of silently sitting next to Harry, the door of Potion's classroom opened. Hermione looked up and she saw Professor Snape. She felt really awkward at that moment, because she didn't know what to do or what to say.

"Good afternoon, professor" said Hermione and stood up.

Snape looked a bit annoyed, but he didn't say anything. His eyes found Harry, who was still sitting on the floor and was now sleeping.

"Good morning, Miss Granger. May I ask you what is wrong with Mister Potter?" asked Snape.

"He fell asleep, sir, because he didn't get a lot of sleep this night" replied Hermione and looked at Severus. She could see that Snape was a little worried when he first saw Harry. She saw the need in her Professor's eyes to be alone with Harry and because of that Hermione came up with a lie.

"Professor, the lessons won't start for another 30 minutes and I left my Potion's book in the Dormitory. Could you please look after Harry while I'm gone. I really don't want to wake him up" said Hermione.

Snape knew that Hermione was lying, because he saw the Potion's book in her hands, but he just nodded and waited until she was gone. Then he picked Harry up and carried him to his private rooms. He gently put Harry onto his sofa and sat on the chair, next to Harry. Severus then smiled, when he saw Harry's sleeping face. The boy looked so peaceful and calm that it made Severus's heart beat faster. After a few more seconds of looking at Harry's face, Snape stood up and went into the kitchen to get something to drink. Just as he was poring pumpkin juice into the glass, the glass fell onto the floor and it broke. The sound of the broken glass woke Harry up.

He was confused, because he knew that he fell asleep in front of the Potion's classroom and now he was lying on the sofa? Where the hell was he now?! He sat on the sofa and noticed that he was in Snape's private rooms. Harry let out a loud sigh. He was dreaming again, wasn't he?! Snape soon came out of the kitchen and was very angry with himself that he woke Harry up.

"Am I dreaming?" asked Harry.

"What?" asked Severus, puzzled.

"How did I get in here?" suspiciously asked Harry.

"You fell asleep in front of my classroom. Miss Granger went to the Dormitory, so she left you with me" replied Severus.

Harry then finally decided that this time he wasn't dreaming, because all of what Snape told him made sense in a way.

"Okay"

Severus then sat next to Harry and asked him: "Why couldn't you sleep, Harry? Did you have nightmares?" Snape's voice was really soft.

Harry blushed hard when he remembered the dreams of the past night.

"No, I didn't have nightmares"

"Then, what was wrong?" asked Severus again.

"I don't know. It was a strange night, I guess" said Harry, who was avoiding making eye contact with Severus.

"Really?" asked Snape, who wasn't buying any of Harry lies.

Harry quickly nodded and smiled. "Yes"

"You do know that I don't believe you, right? But I won't ask anymore questions, okay? If you want to tell me what was wrong, you can talk to me anytime, understand?" said Severus, who decided not to put too much pressure on Harry.

Harry nodded and he was happy that Snape stopped asking him questions. Snape then moved closer to Harry. Harry's body was beginning to feel hotter, because he could still feel Severus's touches on his skin from the dream, but because he didn't want to upset Severus anymore, Harry didn't move. Severus then put his right hand onto Harry's chest.

"Your heart is racing" said Severus with a low voice and he chuckled. When Snape said that, Harry's heart just sped up even more.

"I-I know" said Harry and looked Snape into his black eyes. Even though that Snape's eyes were black and cold, at that moment Harry could see only the warmth and love in Snape's eyes.

"You know, the Potions are about to start, but I would love to spend some more time with you later this evening. How does that sound?" asked Severus.

"I would love that" replied Harry and smiled.

Severus smiled and before Harry left his private rooms, Snape gently kissed Harry.

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

**3:30 pm **

It was 3:30 pm and Hermione's lessons has just ended. She knew that Harry's lessons ended about an hour ago, so she and Harry made a plan to meet up after her lessons in he library to write an essay for Potions. However, Hermione was already in the library and Harry was nowhere to be found. Hermione rolled her eyes. This was so typical for Harry. He always avoided writing essays and studying. Because she was tired of waiting, she took an old book from the bookcase and started reading it. She was walking around a bit and because she was too busy reading the book, she wasn't too careful where she was walking. After a while someone bumped into her.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" said a loud voice. Hermione looked up and saw a very angry Draco Malfoy.

"I'm sorry. I didn't see where I was going" said Hermione and looked at the floor.

"Why do you always have to read?" asked Draco, who was really annoyed by now.

"Why are you always such a moron?" asked Hermione back. Hermione's answer made Draco's lips curl into a small smile.

"Well, well... I didn't know that people like you, have words like this in their vocabulary" said Malfoy and smirked.

"Shut up" said Hermione, who was starting to get annoyed. Then she remembered what Harry told her. Harry told her what happened between Draco and Ron in The Great Hall. And Hermione almost couldn't believe Harry's words. Should she thank him?!

"Umm, thank you?" said Hermione awkwardly.

"For what?" asked Draco and looked Hermione like she was from another planet.

"You know, for helping Harry the other day"

"Oh, I hope you didn't get a wrong idea about that. I didn't help Potter, I just simply dislike people like Weasel is" said Draco.

"Yes, but still... you helped him."

"Are you retarded? How on Earth did I help him?"

Hermione rolled her eyes,

"Fine, you say whatever you want to say, but I know the truth. And the truth is that you only pretend to be an asshole, but you really aren't one, right?" said Hermione.

"I don't know what you are talking about" said Draco.

"What's the matter?" asked Harry.

Hermione turned back and saw Harry.

"You are late!" said Hermione.

"I'm sorry, but I fell asleep. But, what is wrong? Did he say something to you?" asked Harry and then pointed at Draco.

"Not really" said Hermione.

"I need to go away from here. Just standing next the two of you is giving me a headache" said Draco and quickly left the library.

"What was that all about?" asked Harry, when Draco left.

"I just wanted to thank him. You know, for the other day" explained Hermione.

"What did he say?"

"Nothing really, he was really too busy being a jerk" said Hermione.

Harry smiled and said: "Should we start writing that essay?"

"Yeah, it's about time."


	18. Chapter 18

**It's been really a long time since I've last updated this, right? I've been busy with school stuff**

**Enjoy~**

It was now the middle of March and the snow finally started melting. Harry was really happy about that, because he really loved spring. It was his favourite season of year, because at spring, the whole nature was coming back alive and Harry loved that feeling. It made him feel very happy and alive. Plus he was also very happy that he was still with Snape and everything seemed so perfect at that moment to Harry.

Harry was walking around Hogwarts,because he has already finished his classes for the day and he had absolutely nothing else to do. It was Friday, so Harry was very happy because of that also. He yawned and sat down on the cold floor. He was still avoiding Ron. However, Ron wasn't bothering him any more They still weren't talking to each other, but Harry was happy that Ron stopped harassing him. On the other hand, Ginny was still being his friend, but slowly she was getting on Harry's nerves and Harry knew that Severus wasn't happy too, when he saw Harry with Ginny. Ginny started to follow him everywhere and Harry was the one hiding from her. She was always asking him questions about who was he dating. Plus he was still tutoring her. That didn't make any sense to Harry, because Ginny was usually very smart and she mastered the spell almost immediately. But he didn't want to hurt or offend her, so he didn't say anything.

This afternoon, Harry had a date with Severus and he was really excited. He absolutely loved the fact that they were going to spend the whole afternoon together, because it was a really long time, since they've been together for so long. Harry closed his eyes as he remembered the way Severus was kissing and touching him. Harry noticed how Severus's touches and kisses were getting more and more bolder and Harry didn't mind that at all. Harry smiled.

"Day dreaming, are we, Potter?" said a voice and Harry quickly opened his eyes. He was afraid that it was Ron talking to him, but in stead of him, Harry saw Seamus Finnigan.

"Oh, hello Seamus" said Harry happily and stood up. He stepped closer to Seamus, but he immediately stepped back, as he was trying to avoid Harry.

"What's wrong?" asked Harry, puzzled.

"Don't come closer, freak" spat Seamus.

"W-What?" asked Harry and his heart started beating faster.

"Ron told me everything about you! You are sick, Harry. You need help"

"B-But I thought that we were friends" murmured Harry and he was trying to calm himself down. He never though that Seamus would hate him also.

"Yes, I thought that too. But now... I'm disappointed with you" said Seamus and Harry could see only disgust and despise in Seamus's eyes.

"Then go away, if you don't want to be near me" said Harry and turned around.

"Oh no. Not until I teach you a lesson"

"W-What do you mean?" asked Harry and started walking away from Seamus, because he didn't like the sound of Seamus's voice. It sounded really evil to Harry.

"I'm going to show you that being a fag is disgusting, Harry" said Seamus and started walking towards Harry.

"I said, leave me alone"

"No!"

Harry put his right hand into his pocket and pulled out a wand. However, Seamus was too quick for him.

"Expelliarmus!" said Seamus and the spell threw Harry's wand far away from him.

"Don't do anything stupid" said Harry, who was trying to calm Seamus down, but he wasn't successful.

"I'm not doing anything stupid. But you are, Potter. You should be ashamed" said Seamus.

Harry's body started shaking, because Seamus had the same look in his eyes as Ron, when he attacked Harry. Harry started to panic, because he was really scared that Seamus could do something go him. Harry was so afraid, because he didn't have his wand with him.

"What did I ever do to you?" asked Harry, who was still walking backwards.

"I'm disgusted by freaks like you. Do you think that your parents would be proud, if they saw their son snogging with some guy?! They didn't die, so that you can be a fag, Harry. You need to show your parents some respect!" said Seamus very loud.

Harry's heart was racing by now. Harry was feeling very weak and powerless. He hated that. He knew that he couldn't keep being humiliated like that. He knew that this had to stop, but Harry didn't know what to do. He had to stop being a coward! He knew that he had to stand up for himself, just like Malfoy told him. Harry couldn't believe that Draco's words would make sense to him someday. Harry took a deep breath and he took all the courage that he had in him.

"Seamus, you are the one who needs to show respect to me. I don't like the way that you and Ron are treating me. I don't deserve that. I'm serious, if this doesn't stop, I will go and tell some professor that you've been bullying me for all this time" said Harry. At that moment, Harry's body was full of adrenaline and he couldn't even control the words that were coming out of his mouth. But it felt good, because he finally told the truth. He was done pretending and hiding. Harry knew that if he didn't say something, this nightmare would never end.

Seamus's eyes were wide open and Harry knew what was coming next. He knew that Seamus would get really angry, and he really did. Harry saw how the look in Seamus's eyes was darkened and Harry's fear returned. Harry's body was shaking as he was waiting for Seamus's reaction.

"What did you say, Potter? Say it again!" said Finnigan with a really monotone and cold voice. Seamus's voice was so cold that it send shivers down Harry's back. However, Harry didn't let the fear get to him.

"I said Seamus, that you need to respect me. I'm your friend, and we've been through a lot together. And if you have a problem with my sexuality, you don't need to accept me. I just want that you stop treating me like I'm kind of a disease. And if this doesn't stop, I'm afraid that I'm going to tell one of the professors" repeated Harry himself. However, this time, he wasn't as courageous as he was before and Seamus noticed that. Harry knew that Seamus noticed that, because there was an evil smile on Seamus's face.

"There's no way, I'm going to respect you, you freak" said Seamus.

At that moment a sudden anger took over Harry's body. Harry's mind was on fire and he felt the need to punch Seamus. He was so angry, that he didn't even try to control himself. He took a few steps closer to Seamus and then he firmed a firm fist with his right arm. Then he punched Seamus really hard. Harry heard a wince Harry saw that he hit Seamus's nose really hard, because Seamus was bleeding. Harry wasn't even trying to apologize, because he knew that he did the right thing. Harry felt amazing and he wished that he did that a lot of time ago to Ron.

Just as Harry turned around and he was ready to leave, Seamus grabbed Harry's hair really hard. Then Seamus pushed Harry against the cold and wet wall really hard. Seamus was still holding Harry's hair with his left hand. Harry saw how Seamus's hand was already in a fist, so Harry knew what was following next. Seamus punched Harry's face really hard. The glasses fell from Harry's face on the cold floor. Harry knew that they were probably broken.

Harry wasn't bleeding, but he new that he will have a nasty bruise on his cheek. Harry's body was shaking and he really regretted hitting Seamus a few moments ago. He was afraid of what Seamus could do. Harry knew that Seamus hasn't finished that and because of that Harry tried to escape. He tried to push Seamus away, but Seamus was too strong. Harry knew that this didn't mean anything good.

Seamus grabbed Harry's hand and he started walking, while dragging Harry behind him.

"Where are we going?" asked Harry, who tried to hide his fear.

"Shut up!" ordered Seamus.

Harry was silent for a few seconds, but when he saw that Seamus was taking him to the Dungeons, Harry knew that this didn't mean anything good. He knew that there were a lot of old and empty rooms in the Dungeons. This didn't mean anything good. Harry realized that Seamus made a plan how to keep his mouth shut. Harry was afraid of the worst, so he quickly started fighting back. He quickly yanked Seamus hand from his and he quickly started running away. However, he didn't come far, because someone else blocked his way. And that someone was none other than Ron.

Harry's eyes were wide opened and he started walking backwards. He turned around and he saw that Seamus was coming near. Harry realized that he was trapped. There was no way that he could hide from them. Maybe he could still run away? Or if he would be lucky enough, maybe Severus was in the Dungeons too and he could save him. Harry opened his mouth and screamed "Help!"

"Keep your filthy mouth shut!" yelled Ron and he made a move towards Harry. Ron tried to grab Harry, but Harry was this time faster that him. Just as when Ron was ready to grab him, Harry was able to run past him.

"Stop him!" yelled the read head.

Seamus nodded, grabbed his wand, quickly pointed it at Harry and said "Petrificus Totalus"

Harry suddenly felt how he lost control over his body. His body became stiff and because he was running he fell onto the hard floor.

"Good one, Seamus" said Ron and he smiled.

"Now, let's deal with him in another room. Quickly, before someone comes here"

Ron and Seamus carried Harry into a dusty room, which was not so far from Severus's Private rooms. They threw Harry into the room and then they locked the door. Seamus's spell stopped working and Harry was able to move again.

"What the fuck are the two of you doing?!" screamed Harry.

"We're going to teach you a lesson" said Ron.

"A l-lesson?" asked Harry and he was afraid of the answer.

"Yes, Potter. We're going to show you that being a fag is disgusting" said Seamus and he got closer to Harry.

Harry then remembered that he's already heard that words. They were really too familiar to his father's words. Harry took a deep breath and then he got onto his legs. He decided that he will fight back. There was no way that Seamus and Ron would do something to him.

"You should really leave me alone. I've already told you, didn't I? I will tell the teachers what is going on."

"Oh you will tell the teachers, will you? What's that Potter, are you too scared to fight you own battles?" smirked Ron.

"What about you? You need somebody else to beat me up, Ron?! You are really stupid" said Harry, who was smiling now. He was smiling, because he saw that he made Ron angry.

"Don't worry Ron, I'll make sure that the freak will pay!" said Seamus.

Seamus then stepped next to Harry and grabbed Harry's hair once again. Harry didn't scream this time. He grabbed Seamus's arm and then he quickly removed it from his hair. Then Harry pushed Seamus really hard, so that he fell onto the floor. Harry almost started laughing, but he felt a pair of arms, which were grabbing his own arms and twisting them really weird. Harry realized that Ron was holding him.

"Get him!" said Ron.

Seamus stood up and then he punched Harry's stomach really hard. The pain was so strong that Harry forgot how to breath and he would probably fall on the floor if Ron wasn't holding him. However, Seamus wasn't done yet. Seamus punched him three more times. Then Ron released him and Harry fell onto the floor. Harry couldn't even move, because he was still struggling to get some air into his lungs. Harry saw how the room was spinning in front of his eyes, but he knew that the boys were far from finished.

Ron stepped closer to him and then he kicked Harry. His first kick hit Harry's spine. This time it hurt Harry so much, that he started screaming, but this didn't stop Ron from kicking him. The next kick hit Harry's stomach. Harry had the tears in his eyes, but he decided not to cry. He didn't want that the two of them would enjoy even in that. Harry could hear Seamus laughing and encouraging Ron. Ron's kicks didn't stop and the whole Harry's body was hurting.

When Ron was done with kicking Harry, Harry was lying completely lifeless on the floor.

"Good job, Ron" said Seamus and continued "Now, let me continue"

Continue? What the fuck did Finnigan had on his mind?

Harry soon found out, because Finnigan got onto his knees and tore Harry's shirt off. Harry knew what was going on. Harry was really scared at that moment. He wanted that Severus would help him. But how?! Harry felt really sorry now that he begged Severus not to tell any of the teachers what was going on. Harry closed his eyes and hoped that somebody would save him. But Harry knew that this would probably never happen. Nobody knew where he was!

Harry felt that somebody was unbuttoning his jeans. He wanted to jump up and do something, but he couldn't. He was a coward. He knew he was. Just like his father was a coward, he was one too.

˝Hey, Finnigan, what are you doing?" asked Ron who was as shocked as Harry was.

ˇI told you, didn't I? I'm going to teach this freak a lesson" said Seamus, who was completely ignoring Ron now. So this wasn't the plan that Ron had in mind? Harry sighed. At least he knew that Ron wasn't as sick as Harry thought he was.

"But we didn't agree to do this" said Ron, who was now trying to stop Seamus. That made Harry feel a bit better. Maybe Ron could make Seamus stop?!

"No way, Ron. I'm teaching him a lesson. He deserves that. And if you have a problem with that, then maybe you should leave" said Seamus, who turned back to Harry. Seamus then grabbed both of Harry's arms and lifted them above Harry's head. Harry was trying hard to free his hands, but he wasn't successful.

"Ron... I know that you aren't like that. Please, help me!" said Harry and looked at Ron.

Harry could see that Ron was thinking about that. However, after a few seconds Ron still wasn't saying anything, so Seamus continued. Seamus then started kissing Harry's neck. Harry felt completely disgusted and sick. He wanted to throw up. Every Seamus's touch hurt him. Harry's body was shaking as he was still kicking and trying to free himself. However, the weight of Seamus's body, which was pressing him down, was just too strong for Harry.

Harry then opened his mouth and screamed "Help! Somebody, please, help me!"

Seamus became even angrier, so he grabbed Harry's face. Harry stopped screaming, because he was afraid what Seamus might do to him. Seamus's hands then travelled down Harry's face and they stopped around his neck. Harry took a deep breath. He could feel the grip around his neck tighten.

"If you don't stop screaming, I'm going to hurt you. I'm serious" said Seamus.

"What the fuck are you doing, Seamus?! We didn't agree to kill or rape Harry!" screamed Ron and tried to get Seamus off of Harry.

"Go. Away." said Seamus and continued "You know if we get caught, you will be as in much trouble as I will" said Seamus.

Then Ron did nothing. He just turned around and left the room. Harry's heart started beating really fast. His last chance to free himself was gone and now he was stuck with Seamus alone in the old room. Harry didn't even want to think what was going to happen next. He didn't want to go through the same this as Severus did. Harry knew what a horrible thing that was.

Seamus then took his jeans off. Now Harry was lying only in his underwear on the cold floor. However, the coldness of the floor felt good against Harry's body, because it mild down the pain of all the kicks and punches.

"Now, Potter, the real fun begins!" said Seamus and Harry started kicking again, but that didn't help. Seamus licked his mouth and then he started touching Harry's bare chest.

"I thought you were disgusted by freaks like me. But it turns out, that you are a freak, too" said Harry even though he knew that these words would make Seamus angry.

And Harry was right, because Seamus climbed on top of Harry and then he put his hands around Harry's neck once again. The grip was now even tighter around Harry's neck and Harry was trying to get rid of Seamus. Seamus's grip was getting tighter and tighter, so Harry was soon struggling to get the needed air into his lungs. Harry knew that if he somehow didn't get away, that he would probably die.

"Seamus... s-stop!" managed to say Harry, but Seamus was completely ignoring him. Harry grabbed Seamus's hands with his own and tried to get them away. But now he was too weak to do that. Was this going to be the end?!

And then... Harry heard some voices that were coming from outside of the room.

"They are in there, professor" said a voice. Harry recognised the voice, it belonged to Ron! Ron went for help.

The door then suddenly opened and Seamus got quickly away from Harry. When Seamus's hands left Harry's neck, Harry started coughing and he was finally able to get the air into his lungs. But besides of that, he was completely numb. He couldn't do or feel anything. He was just lying on the floor.

"What were the two of you thinking?" said a voice. It was Professor McGonagall.

Seamus and Ron were both silent. They didn't dare to speak.

"I will take you straight to the Headmaster!" said McGonagall and then turned around. "Severus, could please take Mister Potter to the Hospital Wing?"

Severus?! Snape was there too? Harry wanted to cry. He didn't want Severus to see him like this. Harry could see Severus, who stepped inside of the room. Severus nodded and then McGonagall left with Seamus and Ron.

Severus closed the door and then he hurried to Harry. Harry didn't knew what to do. He wanted to run away. He felt completely embaressed. Harry saw how Severus got onto his knees. Severus was silent. He did not say a word for a few seconds. Harry wanted that Severus would say something. But because there was still silence between them, Harry's heart felt heavier. Why didn't Severus say something? Why didn't he touch him?! Was he disgusted as well?!

"Oh, Harry" said Severus after a while. Harry could see how shocked Severus was. Not only shocked but angry too. Harry had never seen Severus so angry before.

"I-I..." said Harry. His whole body was shaking really badly.

Severus then picked Harry up and put his strong arms around Harry's cold and shaking body. The hug was so tight that Harry could barely breath, but he didn't care about that. All that mattered was that he was with Severus. He was safe now.

Severus then pulled back a bit and then he kissed Harry. The kiss was long. Then Severus continued kissing whole Harry's face. Between the kisses, Harry felt something wet on Severus's cheek. Harry opened his eyes to see what that thing was. Harry then realized that Severus was crying.

"Y-You are crying" said Harry.

"Yes" said Severus with a raspy voice. Then he kissed Harry again. "Because you almost went through the same thing as I"

Harry didn't know what to say. It hurt Harry to see Severus cry. He's seen Severus cry once and he didn't want to see that again. It was really heart breaking for Harry to see such a strong and composed man to cry.

"Don't cry" whispered Harry and kissed Severus's right cheek. Then Harry hugged Severus's face and he kissed Snape onto his lips. Harry's cold body immediately became hot. Severus stopped crying, but he wasn't saying anything. Severus then picked up Harry's shirt and put it on Harry. Severus then placed his right palm onto Harry's cheek and Harry closed his eyes. He enjoyed the warmth of Severus's hand. Harry felt that his heart started beating really fast and his body was feeling really hot by now.

"Harry, I don't know what would I do, if the two of them did something to you like James did to me. I think that I would never forgive myself" said Severus.

"But it's not your fault"

"Still.. I should have been there" said Severus and ran his fingers through Harry's hair. Severus kissed Harry's nose and then he pressed his lips against Harry's. Harry then felt that Severus's warm hand was resting onto his tight. Harry then soon realized that he was only in boxers. Harry blushed into the darkest shade of red and he hurried to put his jeans on.

Severus then stood up also and he said: "Come, I'll take you to the Hospital Wing" said Severus.

"But I feel fine" said Harry, who didn't really want to go to the Hospital Wing. He just wanted to be with Severus.

"No you're not" said Severus.

"But-"

"No Harry, this time you will have to listen to me. I know that you want to spend time with me, because I really want to be with you also. And we will spend some time together, but a little later" said Severus.

"Okay" said disappointed Harry. He was really looking forward to their date tonight, but Harry thought that the date plans were over now. Severus saw how disappointed Harry was.

"Will we still have our date tonight?" asked Harry.

"I don't know. I mean, I thought that you wanted to be alone, with your friends. You know... after what happened" said Severus.

"No, I would rather be with you" said Harry.

"I don't know, Harry..."

"Please? I need somebody that I can talk to. Sure, I got Hermione, but you are really the only one who knows how this feels. I really don't want to fall asleep alone tonight. I know that I will have nightmares" said Harry and looked at the floor.

Severus knew that the boy was right. And at that moment, Harry seemed so fragile. Severus didn't want to hurt him any more. He knew that the boy was in a lot of pain already. He knew that Harry was only pretending to be okay, but he didn't want to put pressure onto Harry. When Harry would need to talk, he would talk.

"Fine, you can come to my rooms, after you visit the Hospital Wing" said Snape.

"Thank you, Severus" said Harry and hugged the man.


	19. Chapter 19

**Again, it's been a while since I last updated this, but being a student sucks xD. Especially if you're studying Japanese TT_TT**

**Well, I hope you'll like this chapter, I put a lot effort in it :)**

**oooooooooooooooooooo**

Harry was sitting on the bed in the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey has already done her job. All that she did was give Harry a cream that got rid of any nasty bruises that he has gotten. Now she went somewhere and Harry was alone in the Hospital Wing. Severus also went somewhere. He knew that Snape probably went to the Dumbledore to help punish Ron and Seamus. Harry didn't even protest it anymore. This time, he knew that Ron and Seamus deserved to get punished. Especially Seamus, because what he almost did to Harry was really horrible.

Harry was very happy that Ron saved him. He was happy that Ron finally realized that what they were doing was wrong. Even though Ron was still a jerk, Harry was still happy. He was ready to give Ron another chance to apologize and maybe then, someday they could talk again. Harry was very skeptical that Ron could be his best friend again, because Ron had really let him down. Even though Harry was ready to forgive Ron, he wasn't ready to forget. Ron hurt him too much.

Harry took a deep breath and he lay down on the bed. He didn't know what to do. Madame Pomfrey told him that he could go, because he wasn't really that hurt. The cream had already started working, because Harry could feel a tingling sensation all over his body. That meant that his bruises were healing. He lifted his shirt up, to see if the bruises were really healing. The bruise on Harry's stomach was slowly fading away, so Harry smiled.

"Harry!" said somebody, so Harry looked up.

"Hi, Hermione" said Harry and smiled. He didn't know that somebody told her what happened. He didn't want Hermione to know. He knew that she would worry too much. And he was right.

Hermione stepped closer to him and then tightly hugged him. Harry returned her a hug. Harry knew that Hermione was both angry and worried, because her body was shaking really hard.

"I swear Harry; I'm going to kill Ronald! How could he do this to you?!"

"He wasn't alone" said Harry.

"I know, Professor Snape told me. He told me, just as I was over with my classes. He was waiting for me in front of the classroom. He told me that Seamus and Ron attacked you" said Hermione.

"Severus told you that?" quietly asked Harry. He was surprised; because he was almost 100% sure that professor McGonagall was the one who sent Hermione here. But knowing that Severus sent Hermione here, made feel Harry completely different. It wasn't an uncomfortable feeling. He was happy.

"What did they do to you?" angrily asked Hermione.

"Do you really want to know?" asked Harry, who didn't really want to tell Hermione what happened. He didn't want that she would also hate Ron.

"They just attacked me" said Harry, hoping that Hermione would stop asking questions.

"Only that?" asked Hermione, who wasn't buying Harry's lies. "Professor seemed far too angry and upset. They must've done something else too"

"At first, it was only Seamus. He started putting me down, so I decided to stand up for myself for a change. I kind of got carried away, so I punched Seamus" said Harry and saw a small smile on Hermione's face. Harry couldn't believe that she was smiling. Potter thought that Hermione would be angry, but she wasn't.

"Why are you smiling?" asked Harry.

"Because I wanted to do that to Ron for ages. You did the right thing, Harry" said Hermione. "But what happened then? Seamus must have been really angry"

"Oh, he was. He disarmed me and then he took me to the Dungeons. And this is where Ron came into the picture. They've dragged me into an old and dusty classroom. And then, they started…" said Harry and closed his eyes. He didn't want to remember these things. But he wanted Hermione to know the truth. Or at least the half of it. He wasn't going to tell Hermione what Seamus almost did to him. He knew that this way Hermione would get only angrier and because he knew that Ron still liked, Harry decided to keep that a secret.

"Harry…" was all that Hermione said.

"They were punching and kicking me. I tried to fight back, but they were too strong. And then, the things went out of hands. Seamus became really aggressive and Ron did try to stop him, but Seamus wasn't listening to him. And then, Ron went for a help and came back with Professor McGonagall and Snape" said Harry and looked at the floor.

Hermione put his hands around him and he hugged him again.

"At least Ron did the right thing at the end. However, I am still very angry with both of them. I am sure that they will get what they deserve. Professor Snape will make that happen, I am 100% sure of that" said Hermione and smiled.

Harry sent her a weak smile back. He wasn't very sure of that. He knew that Ron would probably stop harassing him, but he wasn't too sure about Seamus. He was afraid that punishing Seamus would only make things worse. Harry sighed.

"How long do you have to be here for, Harry?" asked Hermione.

"Well, technically, I can already leave. Madame Pomfrey gave me a cream and the bruises are already slowly fading away. She also said that I don't have any serious damages" said Harry and smiled. Harry noticed Hermione's smile too. She was happy that her best friend wasn't really hurt.

"That's nice to hear. I promise Harry, I'm going to have a talk with Ron today. He needs to know that things like these need to stop" said Hermione.

"Thanks" said Harry and widely smiled.

"So, what are your plans for the rest of the day, Harry?" asked Hermione.

"I have a date… with Severus" whispered Harry and smiled.

Hermione smiled too. "That's great. You need him right now. And it's great that he knows that. You are really lucky to have somebody like him. I'll be happy too when I find somebody, who will love me as much as Professor Snape loves you"

"Y-You think he loves me?" asked Harry and he blushed.

"Of course. Can't you see that he's crazy about you, Harry?"

"I know that he likes me… But I don't know if he l-loves me" said Harry and started thinking. Did Severus really love him? Harry knew that Severus really liked him, but he didn't thought about the love part. Harry was still pretty sure that Severus still loved his mom. He couldn't just forget her.

"Do you love him?" asked Hermione and smiled.

Harry was still thinking. Was it too soon to talk about loving each other?! Harry didn't know how to answer this question. He knew that he was constantly thinking about Severus and he couldn't even bear the thought about being without Severus. But Harry didn't know if that meant that he was in love with his professor.

"I don't know" said Harry quietly after a few moments of thinking.

"Well, I think you do love him" said Hermione and started laughing when she saw how Harry blushed.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Harry was happily walking towards Severus's private rooms. He was still feeling pretty tired and his body was still hurting him a bit, but he didn't let that stop him from having a great time on his date. He was determined to block any negative memories from his mind for the time being.

Just as Harry was leaving the Gryffondor's tower, he ran into Ron. Harry wasn't really paying too much attention to where he was going, because he was too busy thinking about Snape. Because both of them were walking really fast, Harry was the one who pushed Ron on the floor by accident. Harry's body stiffened when he saw what he did. He was really afraid, because he didn't know how Ron will react.

"I'm sorry, I didn't watch where I was going and I-" said Harry, but Ron interrupted him.

"Don't worry about it. I deserved it" murmured Ron, who was looking at the floor. He didn't dare to look Harry into eyes.

And then silence fell between them. Harry didn't know what to say, because Ron was actually being nice to him. Harry wanted to ask him what Dumbledore said, but he knew that this would only make Ron angrier. Harry decided to ignore Ron and to go, because he was being late for his date.

"I must go…" said Harry.

"Yes, of course" said Ron and just before Harry left, he said: "Will you ever forgive me for what happened today?" Ron's voice was small and afraid.

"Well, you went for help at the end…" said Harry and turned around.

Ron let out a voice that was similar to ironic smirk.

"Yes, just after I stopped hitting and kicking you" said Ron.

Harry didn't say anything for a while, and then he decided to ask the question that he really wanted to know the answer on.

"What did Dumbledore say?"

"He was furious. I've never seen him so angry in my entire life. Same goes for Snape. They were really mad. Seamus got suspended for the whole year. I got suspended for 2 months" said Ron.

"So that means that you'll be still on Hogswarts?" asked Harry, who didn't really care much what happened to Seamus.

"I don't know. I'll probably go back home, if my mom will want me there. Dumbledore sent her an owl with a message saying what happened. So I don't think she'll be too eager to have me back home"

Harry nodded and then said: "Well, I hope that you stay at Hogswarts. I would really wanted that we straight things between us. I don't know if we'll be friends again, but I'm ready to give it a try, if you're up to it".

Ron's eyes were wide opened. He didn't believe that Harry was giving him another chance.

"Are you saying that you'll try to forgive me?" asked Ron.

"Maybe, I don't know yet. But I would be really happy if we would be friends again" said Harry and then he turned around.

"Thanks" said Ron quietly as he watched Harry walking away from him. When Harry was gone, Ron went into the common room. He saw that Hermione was there also. She was reading a book.

"Hi" said Ron and then he sat down next to Hermione. Ron knew what was coming next. He knew that Hermione would start yelling at him. When Weasley sat down next to Hermione, she immediately stood up. She couldn't be in a same room as Ron at that moment.

"What do you want?" said Hermione and angrily looked at Ron. Ron knew that Hermione was furious with him, so he decided that there was no point in even trying to talk to her. He also stood up and turned around.

"Forget it" said Ron.

"How could you do that to Harry, Ron? He told me that you and Seamus attacked him. Why? You are supposed to be his friend, his best friend. So how could you be like that?" said Hermione.

"I'm sorry" said Ron and looked at the floor.

"Yes, well saying that you're sorry won't do much help, now will it?" said Hermione and angrily looked at Ron. Ron turned around, but he was still looking at the floor.

"I've already apologized to Harry"

"And now, you are lying again. When did you see him? I don't see him anywhere around here" said Hermione, who thought that Ron was lying.

"I've seen him just before I came here" said Ron.

"And what did he say?" asked Hermione, who was almost 100% sure that Harry wasn't ready to forgive Ron for his stupid behavior.

"He said that he is ready to forgive me. He said that he would want us to be friends again" murmured Ron.

"Harry said that?" asked Hermione, who was really surprised by Ron's words.

Ron nodded and continued: "He is ready to forgive me. What about you, Hermione? Would you want us to be friends again?"

"I don't know. I need some time to think this over" said Hermione.

"Please Hermione? I really am sorry" said Ron.

"I said that I'll think about it. I can't just decide. You've really been acting like an idiot! Now, leave me alone" said Hermione and left Ron. Ron let out a loud sigh. He really was hoping that Hermione would forgive him. He still had feelings for her and it really hurt Ron when Hermione was acting so cold towards him. He knew that it was his entire fault, but he did apologize, didn't he?!

**ooooooooooooooooo**

Harry was walking really fast, because he already was late for his date with Severus. And he knew that his professor was already worried. When he arrived to the first floor, Harry ran to the Dungeons. He knew that Severus was waiting for him and he didn't want to keep Severus waiting. When he was finally in front of the Severus's private rooms door, Harry quickly knocked and the door were opened almost immediately.

"You are late" said Severus and Harry stepped inside of the Severus's private rooms. Severus closed the door and then he hugged Harry really tightly. "I was really worried about you" whispered Snape into Harry's ear and Harry could feel the tingling sensations spreading all through his body.

"I'm sorry" said Harry and closed his eyes. His body was completely relaxed when Severus was holding him. Harry heard Severus chuckle, so he smiled too. Severus then pulled back a little and kissed Harry's forehead.

"How are you?" asked Severus.

"I'm fine" answered Harry.

"Really?" asked Severus and sent Harry a suspicious look. Severus knew that the boy was probably feeling horrible.

"R-Really" said Harry and avoided eye contact with Severus. Harry knew what Severus wanted to know, but Harry didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want that to ruin their precious time together.

"Harry, you know that you don't have to lie to me. I know how you feel and I'm here for you if you need to talk about it" said Severus.

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" said Harry with a bit harsher tone.

"Okay, I understand. I just need you to know that I'm here for you"

"Thanks" murmured Harry and looked at the floor.

"So" said Severus and stopped before continuing. He finally decided that he would stop asking questions. "Why were you late?"

"I ran into Ron. We had a talk… kind of"

Severus pressed his thin lips together. He couldn't believe what Harry was saying. He was still talking to Ron after what happened earlier?! Harry noticed the anger and confusion in Severus's eyes. He knew what Severus was thinking.

"What did he say?" asked Severus with as calm voice as he could.

"He was feeling horrible after what happened. He apologized and he asked me if I could someday forgive him"

"And what did you say?" asked Severus, who already knew the answer.

"I said that I'm going to try to forgive him. I didn't promise him anything, but I said that I was happy that he didn't turn out to be as big jerk as I thought he was" said Harry and looked at his professor.

"I… Harry, you amaze me" said Severus.

"Why?" asked Harry, puzzled.

"I would never forgive somebody if they did something like this to me. I mean, I still haven't forgiven James and I know that I never will. Even if he came and apologized to me… And even now, I'm not sure if I will be able to forgive Mister Weasley and Finnigan…"

Harry didn't know what to say. He knew that he was blushing really hard.

"You really are too kind, Harry" said Severus and smiled.

That made Harry blush even harder and he looked at the floor. Harry's body was feeling funny again, but Harry was happy. He really couldn't believe that Severus actually liked him. Severus was perfect. He was so handsome and understanding. And Harry was just a-

"What are you thinking about?" asked Severus, when he noticed that Harry was unusually silent.

"I'm just thinking about how lucky I am" said Harry.

Harry's words confused Severus. Severus knew what Harry meant, but he wasn't expecting words like these to leave Harry's mouth. Harry could Snape completely off guard, because Severus was now the one who blushed. Harry at first didn't know what he said wrong, but when he saw that Severus was looking at the floor, Harry knew what just happened. Harry smiled

"Stop smiling" said Severus, but Harry knew that Snape was just joking.

Severus returned Harry a small smile and then he stepped closer to Harry. When Harry saw how close to him Severus was, he stopped smiling. Harry didn't stop looking Snape's black eyes. At that moment they seemed magical to Harry. Severus chuckled and then he pulled Harry closer to him. Severus wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and then he kissed him gently.

Harry returned Severus a kiss filled with passion. Harry's kiss made feel Severus a bit more courageous, so he deepened the kiss. Severus licked Harry's lower lip and Harry opened his mouth a bit and let Severus explore his mouth. Harry was still a bit scared, because he still wasn't a good kisser. When Severus wrapped his tongue around Harry's, Harry let out a loud moan and he put his arms around Severus's neck, pulling them even closer to each other.

Severus then put his right arm onto Harry's chest; while he was still busy kissing Harry. Harry felt how Snape's hand was travelling lower and lower. At that moment Harry panicked, because he remembered Seamus's touches. Instead of enjoying Severus's touches, Harry became scared of them. He wasn't scared that Severus might do something to him. Harry panicked because he couldn't get the image of Seamus touching him out of his head.

It wasn't a pleasant feeling; Harry was feeling horrible. The image in his head was driving him mad and he felt the need to throw up. Just at that moment he realized what Seamus did to him. Harry quickly pushed Severus away.

"Did I do something wrong?" asked breathless Severus.

"No, I… I-I just can't…" said Harry and covered his mouth with his hands. He couldn't believe what was happening. He didn't know why he felt that way and Harry was feeling completely powerless. Harry knew that there was no point in fighting the tears, so he let them fall.

"Harry…"

"It's not your fault, it's completely mine, but I can't help it. Every time you touch me I-"

"I know how you feel, so please stop blaming yourself" whispered Severus and hugged Harry.

"While we were kissing, you touched me, but I-I remembered what Seamus did to me and I couldn't stop it. I remembered how he touched me, it was horrible. I wanted to throw up. I'm so sorry, Severus" said Harry, who was still crying.

"I said, stop apologizing. It's completely normal to feel this way. I felt the same way as you. Every time when I wanted to get intimate with someone, I couldn't because I couldn't stop thinking about what James did to me. But trust me, it does get better. So please, let me help you" said Severus and kissed Harry's right cheek.

Harry nodded.

"Okay" said Harry with a small voice.

"I love you, Harry" said Severus.


	20. Chapter 20

**I know it's been such a long time since I've last updated this, but I've been really busy with school .**

**Well, now the school is finally over and I promise that I'll try to update more often n_n**

**Well, I hope you like this chapter :P**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

˝I love you, Harry˝

"What?" asked Harry, who wanted to make sure that he heard right.

Severus chuckled and kissed Harry's forehead. "I said that I love you, Harry. I love you so much". Severus then put his arms around Harry's body and pulled Harry next to him. Severus closed his eyes and enjoyed in the moment. He wasn't expecting Harry to say those words back to him. At least not yet. He knew that Harry was really young and even if Harry really loved him, Severus knew that Harry would be too embarrassed to confess his feelings to Severus.

Harry, on the other hand, was completely confused. He didn't know how to react or what to say. He was really happy to hear that Severus loved him. He didn't know if he, himself, loved Severus. But there was another thing that was bothering Harry. Harry still thought that Severus loved his mother, Lily.

Severus pulled away and then he saw the confused look on Harry's face. At that moment Severus became worried. Was it too soon to confess his feelings to the boy? Maybe he really didn't pick the best time.

"Harry?" asked Severus.

Harry was still not talking. He was too busy with thinking and processing the information that his brain just received. Did Severus really love him?! Wasn't Severus still in love with Lily? This didn't make any sense to Harry. Was Severus just trying to make Harry feel better after what happened?

"Please, say something"

"I-… You love me?" asked Harry and looked Severus into the eyes. He was trying to figure out what was the man thinking, but Harry couldn't figure out anything at all.

"Yes, I do" said Severus and nervously smiled. Severus felt really stupid at that moment. He was very nervous and his heart was beating like crazy. He felt like a stupid school girl, who just confessed her feelings to somebody. And Severus didn't like that. He liked when he could control his emotions. Without the control over his emotions, he felt completely exposed.

"But, I thought you loved my mother" finally said Harry and he looked at the floor. He couldn't believe that those words finally left his mouth. Harry hoped to hear that Severus only loved him and not Lily. Harry couldn't believe that his was jealous. He was jealous of his own mother. And he was ashamed to feel this way. But he couldn't help himself.

"Harry, what do you mean?" asked Severus, who was completely caught off guard. He didn't expect those words to come out of Harry's mouth.

"Answer the question" said Harry, who was trying not to sound too jealous and annoyed.

Severus let out a loud sigh. He knew that he should expect questions like that from Harry. It was true that Severus loved Lily, but that was a long time ago. Lily still had a special place in his heart, because she was his first love, but that was all. Severus stopped loving her years ago.

"Harry, you need to understand that this was long time ago. Yes, it is true, that I had pretty strong feelings for her. But nothing can't compare to what I'm feeling for you right now" said Severus and sat down.

"But you can't just forget her" said Harry with a louder voice. Well, it was the truth. You can't just forget someone by a second. Harry thought that Severus was lying to him. But why would he lie to him?! Then a horrible thought came into his mind. Was he just a replacement for his mother?

"I didn't just forget her, Harry. I stopped loving her years ago. Yes, she still means a lot to me. She was my best friend, and yes, I fell in love with her. But, she felt nothing for me. And after she died, I still loved her. But then, year after year, my feelings began to change. I finally realized that I was over her. However, after her, I was never in love again. Not until now, Harry."

"Then why did you choose me to fall in love with? It doesn't make any sense. I'm not her replacement" said Harry.

Those words shocked Severus. How on Earth could the boy feel this? Couldn't he tell that Severus really loved him?

"I didn't choose to fall in love with you, it just happened, remember? I love you for who you are. Not because she is your mother" said Severus and stood up. He couldn't bear the sight of Harry. Harry looked so broken. Severus put his left arm on Harry's cheek and lifted Harry's face, so that Harry was now looking at Severus.

"You do believe me, right?" asked Severus.

"It's because I have her eyes, right?" asked Harry with a small voice.

Snape shook his head. He had to do something to make the boy believe him. He knew that Harry was acting like that only because what happened earlier that day. Severus went through the same thing as Harry did. He decided to take things slowly. He didn't want to admit to himself, but maybe Harry needed to be alone for a bit. Maybe Harry needed to take some time to figure things out.

"Harry, maybe we should take a break. You know, so that you can think about everything. I know it's horrible what you went through. And if I'm with you I just think that I may be too pushy. But I still want you to know that I'm here for you, okay? You can come to me anytime you want" said Severus. He was feeling horrible as he said that. Every word that came out his mouth weighted at least 100 pounds

At that moment, Harry quickly lifted his look. He didn't want that. He wanted to be with Severus, not alone. Severus was the only one who understood him.

"No!" said loudly Harry. At that moment Harry felt horrible for saying all those things. How could he not see that Severus was telling the truth? Harry knew that Severus would never lie to him. Harry didn't know what had gotten into him. And now was his entire fault.

"I want to be with you."

"I know that. But maybe that's the best thing for you now"

"Trust me, it isn't. I don't know even why I said all those things. I didn't mean to" said Harry and looked at the floor.

"It's because of what happened earlier. I felt the same thing. I had a really hard time trusting everybody around me" said Severus and caressed Harry's cheek.

"But I should be able to trust you! I am going to be just fine. I don't want to be without you" said Harry.

"You will be fine, yes. But now you are not. I-…"

"And this is why I need you" said Harry.

"Look, Harry, I am not going anywhere. But for the time being, I just think that you should spend some more time with your friends" said Severus.

"Please, don't do this to me" said Harry, who was now fighting with the warmth in his eyes. He was determined not to cry in front of Severus.

Harry then stepped really close to Severus and kissed him. Harry put his arms around Severus's neck and pulled them even closer. Harry's kisses were fast and filled with a new emotion that was unknown to Harry. It seemed as if Harry was begging Severus not to leave him. At first Severus was not responding to his kisses, so Harry became very worried. But after a few seconds passed, Severus returned him the kiss.

While they were kissing, Severus pushed Harry into the wall. Severus's mind completely stopped working, so he forgot that he needed to take things slowly. Severus ran his fingers through Harry hair. Harry opened his mouth and Severus slowly pushed is tongue inside. That made Harry moan. Harry's moan was music to Severus's ears.

Severus then moved his lips to Harry's neck. At that moment, Harry panicked once again. He again remembered what Seamus did to him. He just couldn't erase that picture from him mind. However, this time, he decided not to push Severus away. If he did, then Severus would really leave him. Instead of that, Harry ran his fingers through Severus's hair, pulling them even closer.

Then, suddenly, Severus stopped kissing and touching Harry. Harry opened his eyes to see what was going on.

"Shit" said Severus.

"W-What's wrong?" asked Harry. Harry's body was still really shaky.

"Why didn't you say something? I completely lost control over my body. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. Sorry"

"N-No, it's okay, really" said Harry, who was of course lying, but he needed to do something.

"We really need to take some time apart. If we aren't then I'm just going to hurt you. Just now, I went too far. I should be able to control myself, but I didn't"

"You won't hurt me" said Harry and kissed Severus again.

"No, Harry, I think this is for the best."

"But-"

Severus shook his head. He knew that his words hurt the boy, but at that moment he really did think that this was the best decision for them. In fact, if Harry wasn't dating him, none of this would happen, so of course, Severus was feeling really guilty.

"Don't push me away. Don't hate me, please" begged Harry. Harry was feeling completely powerless and he needed to do something. But he didn't know what.

"So this is it, huh? We are breaking up?" asked Harry and just of the thought of that, his eyes filled with tears.

"It's not a break up, Harry. I would love to spend more time with you. But I just don't know if this is the best for you right now" said Severus.

"B-But you said you love me" said Harry.

"You need to understand that what I'm doing is out of love. Maybe you are too young to understand Harry. When you'll be older-" said Severus, but Harry interrupted him.

"Don't! Why do you always have to bring this up? I know that I'm a lot younger than you. You don't have to tell me that every time we fight" said Harry, who was now really angry.

"But I do, because you're acting like a child" said Severus. He didn't mean to say this to Harry, but he was just really upset and he couldn't hold back is emotions anymore. As soon as the words left his mouth, Severus wanted to apologize. However, Harry was faster this time.

"Really? Well, you are acting like a complete idiot" said Harry and then left Severus alone in the room.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Harry ran out of the Dungeons. He ran into the Gryffondor's tower. In the Gryffondor's common room was Hermione. Harry needed to talk to her. He needed to tell somebody what just happened. Because if he didn't, he had a feeling that he would completely lose it.

When he arrived to the Gryffondor's common room, Hermione immediately noticed that something was wrong with Harry. Hermione could see that Harry must've been crying.

"Hermione, please come with me. I need to talk to you" said Harry with a raspy voice.

Hermione immediately stood up and followed Harry. They went into the Room of Requirements. When they came into the room, they sat down. Harry was silent for a few seconds. Hermione didn't say anything. She was silent and was waiting for her best friend to start talking. She knew that something bad must've happened between Harry and professor Snape.

"I think I just broke up with Severus" finally said Harry. He didn't even bother hiding his tears in front of Hermione.

"What happened, Harry?" said Hermione, who was completely shocked.

"I-I… Well, at first things were really going well between us" started Harry. "But then he kissed me, and I just couldn't stop thinking about what Seamus did to me" said Harry and then he remembered that he told Hermione too much. He has completely forgotten that he didn't tell Hermione what really happened.

"What did he do to you, Harry?" asked Hermione, who was now really worried.

"Well…"

"You need to tell me, Harry!"

"Seamus tried to rape me" quietly said Harry and then he closed his eyes.

"He did what?! Why didn't you tell me, Harry?" said Hermione, who was now both angry and extremely sad.

"I don't know" murmured Harry and looked at the floor. "Are you angry with me for not telling you?"

"No, of course not, Harry" said Hermione.

"O-Okay. Well then, after that he told me that he loves me" said Harry.

"Well, that's good, no?" asked Hermione, who was now really confused.

"Yeah, but you should've seen the way I reacted. I don't know even what happened to me. I started asking him questions about my mother and when he stopped loving her. I even asked him if I'm her replacement" said Harry.

"Oh, Harry, of course he loves you" said Hermione.

"I know now"

"And then, what happened?"

"He tried to explain to me how he stopped loving her years ago, but I just didn't listen. And then, he said that we should spend some time apart. He said that he didn't want to hurt me" said Harry, who was feeling now very dizzy.

"Oh, you didn't break up then…"

"I tried to convince him that he wouldn't hurt me and that I needed him around me, but he… He got mad at me and I got mad at him… and then I stormed out of his private rooms" said Harry.

"You just need to talk to him. You didn't break up. I am sure of that" said Hermione and hugged Harry.

"Really?" asked Harry.

Hermione smiled and nodded. "Of course, you just had a little fight. All couples fight"

Harry and Hermione then sat in silence for about a few minutes.

"Feeling better?" asked Hermione.

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "I guess"

"Come, let's go back to the common room, okay?" said Hermione after a while. Harry nodded and followed his best friend.


	21. Chapter 21

**I haven't updated in quite some time, right? ~~ I'm sorry, I've been too lazy to write anything**

**Well I hope you like this chapter too**

**Enjoy~~**

**00000000**

**1 week later**

It's been one week since Harry and professor Snape had their fight. Severus was trying to talk to Harry, but Harry went back to avoiding Severus. Not because he didn't want to make up with Severus, but because he didn't know if he could face Severus after all the horrible things that he had said to him. Harry felt completely ashamed by the way he acted that day in front of Severus. Harry knew that Severus was right when he said that Harry was acting like a child. He really was. His reaction to Severus's confession was childish. And Harry still couldn't understand why he felt jealous of his own mother. And because of this, Harry had no intentions to speak with Severus. Harry knew that he hurt Severus and that hurt Harry even more.

Harry let out a loud sigh. He was sitting in front of Hogwarts alone. Hermione wanted to come with him, but he told her that he would rather be alone. These days, Harry was spending a lot of time alone. Harry liked being alone. It helped him think things through. However, he still missed somebody who he could talk to. He knew that Hermione was always there for him, but somehow he felt more comfortable speaking to Severus about things like that.

Harry looked up. He could see that someone was coming closer to him. As the person was coming closer to him, Harry could see that the person was Ron. Harry didn't know what to do. He really didn't want to talk to Ron at that moment. However, because he didn't want to make things even worse, he decided not to ignore Ron if he wanted to speak to him.

"Hello, Harry" said Ron and sat down next to Harry.

"Oh, hi Ron" said Harry, a bit annoyed.

"How are you?" started Ron.

"Fine, I guess. And you?"

"Horrible" said Ron and then he continued, "My mom is really angry with me. He doesn't allow me to go home, so I'm staying at Hogwarts. But I don't really blame her, after what happened-"

"Look, Ron. I really do appreciate that you are trying to apologize to me and all. But could we not talk about this right now. I'm not really in the mood. I have even more problems now" said Harry, who tried not to sound too annoyed.

Ron nodded. "Okay. May I ask you what is wrong?"

"I-… Look Ron, I don't know if you are the right person, who I should talk about this. All I can say is that my love life isn't really peachy…"

"Oh" was all that left Ron's mouth.

"It's because of what happened between us, right?" asked Ron.

"Yes" said Harry, who wasn't even trying to be nice to Ron.

"Is there something that I can do? I mean, do you want to talk about it. I promise that I won't judge" said Ron. He meant what he said. He wanted that Harry would trust him again.

"Thanks Ron, but as I said before-"

"I know what you said, Harry. But I would really want us to be friends again"

"And I would like that too. But you can't just expect me to tell you everything about my love life. Not after everything that happened."

"I know that, Harry" murmured Ron and looked at the floor.

Harry forced a little smile on his face. He knew that Ron was feeling horrible, so Harry decided to change the subject of their conversation.

"So, Ron, are you going to Fred's and George's party tonight?" asked Harry.

"I don't know. Maybe, if I'll feel like going. What about you?"

"Probably. You should come too. Hermione is going as well. Maybe you'll get a chance to apologize to her. I know you still like her, Ron" said Harry and forced a smile upon his face. Somehow, he felt really awkward talking to Ron. It felt different as before.

"I do like her, but there's no way that she's going to forgive me" said Ron.

"Hey, you'll never know if you won't try, right?" said Harry.

Ron smiled and nodded. "Yes, I guess you are right. What time does the party start?"

"Around 8 pm" said Harry.

"Maybe I'll come. But I won't promise anything" murmured Ron.

Harry nodded and then he stood up. Harry decided to go to the Library, because he had a lot of homework to do. When Harry stood up, Ron repeated Harry's actions.

"Where are you going?" asked Ron.

"To the library"

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"I don't know, Ron. I have a lot of homework to do and I-"

"It's okay, Harry. I understand. Well, I guess I'll see you later, at the party?" said Ron and smiled. The smile on Ron's face was really sad.

"Yeah, I'll see you then" said Harry, turned around and went to the library.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooo**

As Harry was walking towards Library he ran into Draco. Harry didn't know what to do, so he decided to ignore him. He looked away and he hoped that Draco would ignore him as well, but Harry didn't have such luck.

"Oh, Potter. Here you are. I've been looking everywhere for you" said Draco.

"What do you want now, Malfoy?" asked Harry.

"I don't need you. Professor Snape told me that I have to tell you that you have detention tonight at 7 pm" said Draco.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Well, could you tell _professor_ Snape that I won't be able to come tonight. I have a party to attend"

Draco smirked. "You tell him that, I don't have time for that"

Harry let out a loud sigh and turned around. He decided to continue ignoring Draco. Maybe this way, he could make him disappear.

"So, Potty. Is the Saint Trio back together?" asked Draco.

"Why do you care?" asked Harry, who was really annoyed by now.

"Because you are no fun when you are fighting. It's way more fun to make fun of you when you are together" said Draco in his annoying tone of voice.

Harry shook his head. There wasn't any more point in listening to Draco.

"But seriously, did Weasel stop harassing you?" asked Draco. This time there wasn't any sarcasm in Draco's words. Harry was really surprised by that. He didn't think that Draco would seriously care about what was happening to him.

"Yeah, he doesn't bother me anymore. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but what does this have to do with you, Malfoy?"

"Because people like Weasel make me really mad. I seriously can't stand people like that" said Draco.

Harry was now feeling really awkward. He didn't know what to say to Malfoy. If someone would tell Harry some months ago that Draco would actually care about him, Harry would send that person into the mental institute.

"Well, thank you for your concern, but I'm fine" said Harry.

"Don't think that we are now friends, Potter. I still dislike you… a lot" said Draco.

"Of course not. I still think that you are an annoying and rich spoiled brat" said Harry and smiled. He didn't really mean all those things, but Draco understood what Harry meant, because Malfoy returned Harry a smile.

"Well then, bye" awkwardly said Harry.

"Yeah, yeah. Now, go away, Potter"

Harry smiled again and then he went into the Library.

**oooooooooooooooo**

When Harry finished writing all of his homework it was already 7pm and because the party started at 8 pm, Harry hurried to the Gryffindor's tower. He hurried to the boy's Dormitory, where he got dressed for the party. Harry put on a simple gray shirt and jeans. Harry didn't even bother how he looked, because he knew that he was going to have a really bad time at the party. Potter knew that he will be too busy thinking about Severus.

When Harry got dressed, he went into the common room. In common room Hermione was already waiting for him. Harry smiled when he saw Hermione. Hermione looked really good. She was dressed into a purple dress and she had her hair in a ponytail. Harry was really surprised, because Hermione was even wearing makeup.

"Wow, Hermione. You look really good" said Harry and smiled.

Hermione returned him a shy smile. "Thank you. But do you think that this is a little bit too much?"

Harry shook his head. "Of course not. You look absolutely stunning. I think that you'll get a lot of attention. Especially boy's attention" said Harry and winked.

Hermione blushed and her smile grew even bigger. She didn't want to admit it to herself, but she felt awesome when Harry complimented her. She wasn't used to that.

"Thanks, again" awkwardly said Hermione.

"So where's the party?" asked Hermione after a few seconds.

"In the Room of Requirements" said Harry and he knew that Hermione wouldn't like that.

"Why? I thought that Professor McGonagall allowed them to have the party in the Great Hall" said Hermione, completely puzzled.

"Did you really think that Fred and George would ask professor McGonagall to have the party?" asked Harry and smiled. He couldn't believe that Hermione still believed the twins. She should have learned by now.

"So, the party is illegal?" asked Hermione, who started thinking about not going to the party.

"Yeah, so what?"

"Then, I'm not going"

"Oh, Hermione, don't be silly. Lighten up a little bit. You'll enjoy it. I promise" said Harry.

"I don't know, Harry"

"It'll be fun" said Harry and started laughing as Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Fine, I'll go" finally said Hermione.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

When Hermione and Harry came into the Room of Requirements, the room was already full. There were students from Gryffondor, Ravenclaw, Huffelpuff and even some students from Slytherin. That made Harry very surprised, because he knew it was really unusual for Slytherins to hang out with other houses.

Harry then smiled and turned to Hermione.

"What should we do?" asked Harry and smiled like an excited puppy. Harry needed that, because he wanted to stop thinking about Severus and problems that he had with him.

"Well, I could get us some drinks" said Hermione and smiled.

Harry nodded.

"What do you want to drink?" asked Hermione.

"I guess pumpkin juice would be okay" said Harry. Hermione nodded and left to get her and Harry some drinks. While Harry was waiting for his best friend, somebody crawled behind his back. Harry quickly turned around, because he had a feeling that somebody was standing behind him. As Harry turned around, somebody jumped and hugged Harry really tightly.

"Ginny, what are you doing?" asked Harry, when he saw who was hugging him.

"I missed you, Harry" said Ginny and giggled.

Harry took a closer look at Ginny. Harry knew that she shouldn't be at this party, because this party was only for students, who were 15 and older. But Harry guessed that Fred and George let Ginny in, since she was their sister. However, there was something else different about Ginny. She had that weird look in her eyes and she was really happy. A bit too happy for Harry's taste.

"Well, I missed you too, Ginny. But can you please stop hugging me?" asked Harry, who was trying to get rid of Ginny.

"Why?" asked Ginny and giggled again.

"Because it's weird"

"Fine, fine. I'll stop hugging you, under once condition" said Ginny with a cheerful tone in her voice. Harry didn't like the sound of that.

"And that condition is?" asked Harry.

"I'll stop hugging you, if you dance with me" said Ginny and giggled again.

Harry rolled his eyes. If this was the only way that he could get rid of Ginny, then he would dance with Ron's sister.

"Fine" finally said Harry.

"Yay" cheered Ginny and grabbed Harry's hand. She dragged Harry to the dance floor. As they were walking towards the dance floor, Harry noticed that Ginny had a hard time walking straight. And a few times she almost fell on the floor. Harry then finally figured out what was wrong with Ginny. Ginny was drunk.

When they arrived to the dance floor, the music became really slow. Harry rolled his eyes again. He knew that Ginny must have planned this whole thing out. Harry awkwardly put his arms on Ginny's hips, while trying to keep the distance between them. Ginny put her arms around Harry's neck. Harry looked at Ginny. She was smiling. Harry was happy that Ginny was happy, so he smiled too. Harry hoped that Ginny didn't misunderstand Harry's smile.

Ginny then pulled them closer and put her head on Harry's shoulder. Harry didn't know how to react and he was feeling really nervous and awkward. He hoped that the song would soon end. However, the song that Ginny picked was really long.

Harry looked around the room. His eyes found Hermione, who was now looking at him. Harry noticed that Hermione was smiling. Harry rolled his eyes, which only made Hermione's smile wider. Hermione knew that Ginny liked Harry.

Harry then started wondering how it would feel if he was dancing with Severus. Just a thought of that made Harry's heart beat a little bit faster. Harry smiled. It would feel amazing if Severus was now with him. Harry really missed Severus and he felt a little bad, because he didn't go to see him today. Harry knew that Severus must've been really sad that Harry didn't come to see him.

It was just a week since their fight, but it felt weeks to Harry, because he really couldn't stand being away from Severus. Harry decided that he would leave the party earlier to go talk to him. Harry knew that Hermione would understand if he decided to leave earlier.

"This feels nice, right?" asked Ginny, but Harry didn't even bother to listen to her.

"What did you say?"

"I said that this feels nice" said Ginny again and looked at Harry.

"Yeah, I guess" said Harry, who didn't know how to react.

Ginny then got really close with her face to Harry's. She was too close to Harry, and Harry didn't like this. He felt really uncomfortable.

"What are you doing?" asked Harry with a weak voice.

"You know what, don't pretend to be so clueless. I'm doing what I wanted to do a long time ago" said Ginny and got even closer to Harry.

"Ginny, you do know that I'm in a relationship-"

"Oh, forget about him. I'm the one for you" said Ginny and got even closer to Harry. Then she placed her lips onto Harry's.

It took a few seconds for Harry to realize that Ginny has just kissed him. He didn't feel anything, when Ginny kissed him. When Harry finally realized what was happening, Harry quickly pushed Ginny away.

"What are you doing?! I said that I'm in a relationship!" said Harry with a loud voice and a lot of students around them stopped dancing to see what was happening.

"B-But, Harry, I l-like you" said Ginny.

"I know that. But I don't like you. How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not interested in you or anybody else" said Harry, who was really angry by now.

"Please, listen to me, Harry-" said Ginny and grabbed Harry's arm. However, Harry quickly pushed Ginny's arm away.

"Leave me alone, Ginny" said Harry and turned around. Harry needed to leave the room quickly. He wasn't in the mood for having fun anymore. Harry started walking towards the door and he left the room. However, Ginny followed him.

"Harry, please wait!" said Ginny.

Harry stopped walking, when they were completely alone.

"Ginny, you knew that I'm with somebody" said Harry, with a gentle voice this time.

"Oh, Harry, you can't be with a bloke. You are not gay, Harry" said Ginny.

"Really?! And why is that?" asked Harry, who could feel that his anger was coming back.

"Because you are Harry Potter, for God's sake"

"And just because of that I can't like guys?! Seriously, Ginny, I thought you understood that"

"I thought that you were only lying to get more attention from the girls. Or that this was just some kind of phase" said Ginny.

"This is not a phase, Ginny. I'm in a serious relationship. I have a boyfriend. He loves me, and I love him" said Harry loudly.

"He doesn't love you as much as I do" said Ginny and whipped the tears from her cheek.

"I'm pretty sure that he does" said Harry, who wasn't angry anymore. He knew how Ginny felt and he felt angry with himself for reacting this way.

"Look, I'm sorry, Ginny" said Harry and tried to hug, but Ginny pushed him away.

"I know that you are, but please don't hug me. And I'm also sorry for kissing you like this. I know that I shouldn't, but I just couldn't help myself" said Ginny with a small voice.

"It's okay. Don't worry" said Harry and forced a smile upon his face.

"Well, I think I should go inside" said Ginny.

"Why? We can be here" said Harry.

"I don't think that's good, Harry. Maybe it would be better if I don't spend as much time with you as I did. Not until I get over you, just a bit" said Ginny and Harry nodded. He understood Ginny, so he let her go.

Harry didn't follow Ginny, because he didn't feel like partying anymore. He decided that this would be a good time to go to Severus and to apologize to him. Just as he was ready to leave, Severus appeared in front of him.

"What are you doing here?" blurted out Harry, who was very surprised to see Severus here.

"I came to look for you since you didn't come for your detention" simply said Severus.

Harry rolled his eyes.

"How long were you standing here?" asked Harry.

"Not long" said Severus.

"But you've heard me ad Ginny talking, right?"

"That's correct" said Severus with his monotone voice.

Harry blushed, because he said some really embarrassing things.

"So Miss Weasley kissed you?" asked Severus and Harry noticed that Severus was jealous.

"It was just a simple drunken kiss. Nothing more. You've heard us, so don't pretend like you don't know anything" said Harry.

Severus smirked and stepped closer to Harry.

"Why are you smiling?" asked Harry.

"Because you said that you love me. I'm happy, Harry" said Severus with a quiet voice.

Harry blushed and forced himself to look at Severus.

"I've missed you, Harry" said Severus.

"So did I, but don't you think that we should go somewhere else to talk about this. Someone might hear or see us" said Harry nervously.

"I don't see anybody here. Do you?" asked Severus with a smirk on his face.

"I know, but somebody could come here. There's a party, not too far from here and-" said Harry, but suddenly stopped talking, when Severus hugged him.

"Right now, I don't care if someone sees us. I've missed you too much, Harry" said Severus and put his lips onto Harry's.

Harry tried to stop the kiss, but when he felt Severus's strong arms around his waist, he stopped fighting and he returned Severus the kiss. Severus then pulled back a little and he looked Harry into his eyes. Severus smiled and he put his right hand onto Harry's right cheek. Harry closed his eyes again as Severus kissed him again.

Severus and Harry were too busy to notice that someone was coming closer to them. The next thing that they heard was a surprised voice and a sound of a broken glass.


End file.
